Tgal Posted June 28, 2018 Posted June 28, 2018 Does anyone have any suggestions for websites/online meeting/ online social connections for single parents? I see parents with 50/50 custody and they have the freedom to have hobbies, socialize, and go on any number of dates. I have custody about 95% of the time. I wouldn't change it or give up that time for the world and I recognize that this limits me and makes me not so appealing or available as far as dating. It also makes me grumpy to use what little free time that I do have to go on dates, only to be ultimately rejected because I don't have enough time to give. I get it. I accept it. I'm pretty housebound. But, it would still be nice to have someone to talk to at times. Years ago I had a lovely penpal that at least brought a smile to my face a few times a day through chatting/texting/email. I know I can't have the freedom to go out on multiple dates a week but, finding a chat buddy and a smile every now and then would be nice. Anything?
Happy Lemming Posted June 28, 2018 Posted June 28, 2018 A friend of mine utilized a group called "Parents without Partners". You may want to research it. Personally, I know nothing about this group and have no exposure or experience to draw upon, except for my friend (who was a single Dad) using it. As a comparison, he was in more of a 50/50 custody situation; so I don't know if this will help your situation or not. Best of luck... 1
rightondude Posted June 28, 2018 Posted June 28, 2018 I am in the 50% boat but I can sympathize. It's hard going into dating with the knowledge that no matter how awesome someone is, they will be #2 or at best #1A at some point down the road. Most people aren't willing to stick around for that. Do you have a sitter you trust? Your pool will likely be limited to single dads in a similar situation. You can filter on most dating sites for that. I wouldn't suggest wasting time on those who don't have kids, unless you're just in it for the physical.
Author Tgal Posted June 28, 2018 Author Posted June 28, 2018 Yes. Been there, done that with the dating filters and dating the single dads. Most have 50/50 and I just can't keep up. Like, I said, I accept this about my life and am not looking to spend anymore time away on dating. Nothing worse than paying a sitter and having the guilt of being away from home for some sucky first date. Lol. One can only do that so many times. Just looking for a place for online connection/chat. Maybe I'll have to make one. Wouldn't be the first time I created something to cater to my own need. Thank you for your response.
act00 Posted June 28, 2018 Posted June 28, 2018 Married couples hire sitters and have date night and go out with friends. You can do the same. You have them nearly 100% of the time, so it's not like you're dumping the kids on a sitter on your every-other-weekend. If you have the means to hire a sitter, I suggest you look into that. I get the exhaustion and I never wanted to hire a sitter on my weekends, so it was dating during my free time...and that started to take a toll. I would suggest some meetups, maybe. Part of what you want is some friends, and I got involved in a single parent meetup group. The rules were pretty tight because you were dragging your kids along. These were fun and it got me out once in awhile. Again, this is something that will be tough if you don't have a ton of money to work with, and the goal wasn't necessarily dating, but certainly couples were formed.
kendahke Posted June 28, 2018 Posted June 28, 2018 Does anyone have any suggestions for websites/online meeting/ online social connections for single parents? I see parents with 50/50 custody and they have the freedom to have hobbies, socialize, and go on any number of dates. I have custody about 95% of the time. I wouldn't change it or give up that time for the world and I recognize that this limits me and makes me not so appealing or available as far as dating. It also makes me grumpy to use what little free time that I do have to go on dates, only to be ultimately rejected because I don't have enough time to give. I get it. I accept it. I'm pretty housebound. But, it would still be nice to have someone to talk to at times. Years ago I had a lovely penpal that at least brought a smile to my face a few times a day through chatting/texting/email. I know I can't have the freedom to go out on multiple dates a week but, finding a chat buddy and a smile every now and then would be nice. Anything? You can have someone to talk to, but don't expect for them to want to start a relationship with someone who is never going to make them much of a priority. That's being unfair and unrealistic. Do what I did: don't date until you're kids are close to graduating high school/going off to college. Seriously. It won't kill you until that time, seeing how you feel about your free time. When your free time grows because your kids don't need/want you around (yes, that happens as they age), that's when you look for someone to occupy more of it. In the meantime, you can go on MeetUps to find people to chat with. Don't go on dating sites where the complete focus is finding someone to enter into a 50-50 relationship with expecting them to be cool with 5% of your time. Again, that's unrealistic.
Calmandfocused Posted June 28, 2018 Posted June 28, 2018 Hi, I’m in this situation right now so can speak from experience. I’m divorced and have 2 very young children. They live with me and only see their father every other weekend. Means they are with me 12/14 nights. I had exactly the same fears as you... However.... I’ve been in a new relationship for over 3 months now, my first and only relationship since my divorce. This is how I do it: I obviously see him when the children are with their father but if I only did this I wouldn’t see him for two weeks. So we leave our “going out” dates until I’m childfree. When I’m not he comes over for dinner at my house when my children are asleep. The children and him have not crossed paths. It will be easier when he has met the children but it’s too early at this stage. Just sharing my experience to reassure you that it can be done and works fine for me. He’s also divorced with a child so understands my position completely. Date men who have children themselves is my advice. You don’t have to be single just because your a single parent.
damni Posted June 29, 2018 Posted June 29, 2018 Same situation as me, I always say I care for my child 95% of the time as well. What I have found it is very difficult to date fellow single parents, when I am free they tend to have their kids (day during weekend) that does not work for me and things have fizzled out with men once they work out I don't have much free time. Dating the childless men is the way to go, so when you.are free they are free to spend time with you. I am dating a man at the moment, childless and there no worry about matching up our schedules. If your child young enough, you can invite him around for dinner while your child in bed...only after you had a few dates though so you know he is safe of course! So my advice, date childless men.
coolheadal Posted June 29, 2018 Posted June 29, 2018 Yes. Been there, done that with the dating filters and dating the single dads. Most have 50/50 and I just can't keep up. Like, I said, I accept this about my life and am not looking to spend anymore time away on dating. Nothing worse than paying a sitter and having the guilt of being away from home for some sucky first date. Lol. One can only do that so many times. Just looking for a place for online connection/chat. Maybe I'll have to make one. Wouldn't be the first time I created something to cater to my own need. Thank you for your response. You seem like excellent single parent. Your life is your child, though you'll find that right person to be with you and understand your way of living. Try the meet-up groups in your area meet single people or those your interested in. I know a few single moms have met their date that way instead of going to dating sites for single parents. That doesn't seem to be working for you. Never give-up hope, little or no time for yourself but on the bright side your a mom. Not a lot of us have kids but I wish I did. Being single with all the time of the world at my feet doesn't mean I would like to have someone around to share my life with. I stay happy and busy... Not much else I can do.
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