SixthSt.Girl Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 This ties into the thread about women being upset with porn. I was just wondering how the women who don't like their SO's viewing porn feel about men's magazines, such as SI Swimsuit Edition, those car and fitness mags that show skimpy-clothed models draped over the cars and equipment, etc.? Are you mainly bothered by him watching other women involved in sexual acts, or is it the whole idea of seeking out other women to look at that bothers you? I'm not talking about giving a hot woman on the street a brief lookover, but actually paying money to view various media that features lots of women.
Outcast Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Perhaps men's eyes should be poked out to prevent them from ever looking at any other women.
Art_Critic Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Perhaps men's eyes should be poked out to prevent them from ever looking at any other women. Outcast... tsk tsk tsk .. Poking out both of our eyes is overkill .. How about just one eye ? that way we can still see to get to the C-store to buy some porn mags.
RecordProducer Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Perhaps men's eyes should be poked out to prevent them from ever looking at any other women. Nah, they can still fantasize... How about lobotomy?
Author SixthSt.Girl Posted September 1, 2005 Author Posted September 1, 2005 Perhaps men's eyes should be poked out to prevent them from ever looking at any other women. Really... Some of the posters on the porn thread seem to think that men should quell any lust or attraction unless it's soley directed on their SO. I'm just trying to understand why this issue is such a hot button. Personally, I don't buy into the "two become one" idea of marriage (or romantic partnership). It may just be a cheesy phrase, but some women really believe it. People don't belong to one another and can't control each other's actions. If porn becomes a major issue in a marriage, then it's not much of a marriage to begin with. If a man insists on looking at porn, do you think just saying "no, I don't like that," will stop him? Men are visual creatures, some like porn, some don't, but unless it's more of an obsession than an interest, I don't see why it should be a threat. People have a healthy appreciation for attractive people and objects - it's perfectly natural... Unless your man is chasing a pretty girl down the street for her phone #, I just don't see the problem...
JPMorgan Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 This ties into the thread about women being upset with porn. I was just wondering how the women who don't like their SO's viewing porn feel about men's magazines, such as SI Swimsuit Edition, those car and fitness mags that show skimpy-clothed models draped over the cars and equipment, etc.? Are you mainly bothered by him watching other women involved in sexual acts, or is it the whole idea of seeking out other women to look at that bothers you? I'm not talking about giving a hot woman on the street a brief lookover, but actually paying money to view various media that features lots of women. My husband doesn't like SI anyway so he never reads it or car magazaines. I think its degrading to sell things by appealing to a person's baser instincts and it cheapens what they are promoting. I consider those things soft-core porn but I live in a country/world where public morals change based on how hard society pushes. I turn off the TV, don't buy products with sleazy advertising, turn the page and live my life. My husband is the same way. He has even told me that he considers those women who are in porn pics & movies and even those on public display in sexually suggestive apparal and poses are a bunch of sluts and he sees them as disease incubators and wouldn't stick his penis in one no matter how much he was paid! He has no respect for them -- but he has a LOT of respect for me. We are a good match. So to answer the question as best I can -- porn (soft or hard-core) is what I don't like. My husband's response to it doesn't bother me because we feel the same about it. I wouldn't have married him if he was into porn. I think it is degrading for those who participate in creating and distributing pornography. I don't see it as a threat.
Blackfrost Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Hmmm...maybe somethings wrong with me, as I don't own any porn mags or car mags....the first thing I always hunt down from the newstands is National Geographic Travel magazine, and usually a couple of music mags on mixing gear and sound conditioners hahaha.
alphamale Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Perhaps men's eyes should be poked out to prevent them from ever looking at any other women. right OUTCAST....and maybe you should move to Saudi Arabia so you have to wear a burka which will cover you from head to toe with a little slit for you to look out of
Mz. Pixie Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 I personally don't understand. Sure, porn can be an addiction but so can anything else- gambling, hobbies etc. Anything done is excess can be bad. My husbands masturbation is his private business and so is his viewing of porn- as long as he's not whacking it too much to make love to his wife. THEN we would have a problem. I don't compare myself to those women in the mags or videos. They are fantasy!
sundrop Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 I personally don't understand. Sure, porn can be an addiction but so can anything else- gambling, hobbies etc. Anything done is excess can be bad. My husbands masturbation is his private business and so is his viewing of porn- as long as he's not whacking it too much to make love to his wife. THEN we would have a problem. I don't compare myself to those women in the mags or videos. They are fantasy! I agree 100% with Mz. Pixie. My ex used to watch some and read some, it didn't bother me one bit as long as he left something for me. Honestly, I would rather my guy look at a mag or video and take care of his "needs" on his own when I'm not around, than to go out and seek another person to satisfy his needs. Heck I would even o out and buy the mag for him.
Mz. Pixie Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 That's funny! My exh never used to be home, but he would get mad if he thought I masturbated. I would say, it's my body- I'm not offended when you do it! My new husband says that he doesn't care if I masturbate and leave out a vibrator with a note on it that says, "Dang that was good!" as long as I don't cheat on him!
artemesia Posted September 3, 2005 Posted September 3, 2005 Hi I'm not even sure if this is the right place. Here it goes. I met a man in a forensic reconstruction course 3 years ago. He was a police detective(he retired in july2005 at age 42)and was recently divorced to a wife who cheated on him. We went out almost every evening during the course. I thought he might be drinking too much. After the course I spoke with him over the phone a few times a week. We saw each other a few times a month. We were friendly to each other kissed and laughed and held each other. About 8 months ago we slept together. For me, to sleep with a man is a very emotional step. After a few times we would snuggle in bed and talk about everything. He told me about the women of his past. I didn't have much to tell. He always had wild ideas about inventing something. He is currently working on a book relating to his police work. To get to the part I am confused and insecure about. After sleeping together a few more times he would ask me about my fantasies. He would constantly tell me of the experience he had with 2 women. I know it aroused him. I know it also aroused him to see me excited, so I started making up fantasies. Mostly I just wanted to celebrate what I felt for him by kissing his body etc. But I did listen to his fantasies and tell him made up ones. Gosh I know the 2 girl fantasy by heart now.lol When he retired he told me now he could get rid of all the ugly things he had seen. He wanted to start something new to make enough money. He wanted to take care of me and to be committed. I would talk to him a few days later he seemed not too loving. This is still going off and on. I know he is working on several projects which are really good ideas. He called me and told me a friend was taking him on a business trip to las vegas. When he got back he told me he enoyed it as well as disliked it very much. He spoke of going to several places where orgies were going on. He said he felt disgusted and it did not arouse him. He would never wish to lead a life like that. When he retured he again said he wanted to be with him. The other day I received an email from a friend who saw his picture on a personals ad on yahoo. I could not help myself. I looked and my heart sunk. I decided to go ahead and ask him about this. He told me it was also a new idea he was working on. He wanted to create a sort of dating situation using incentives for online singles. He said he found the whole ad thing interesting. He insisited there is nothing sexual involved. I could even read his emails. He wants to see me tomorrow. I know I want to be with him.. I know I love him. Any thoughts about this situation. Thank you for reading.
RainyDayWoman Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 i enjoy men's magazine. my boyfriend and i get playboy and we look at it together. it's just paper. same thing with porn. i don't think men's magazines are really any different than women's, they all have scantily clad women on the covers and inside. to be perfectly honest, i would rather see a woman in a bikini than some guy in a speedo...and i'm way straight.
Toni_no12002 Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 for me the thing that bothers me is that hes buying these things to lok at other women.the sexual acts thing bothers me also but its the fact that he goin to all that effort to look at other women.why when im here.fair enough if you just come across it and look but going looking for it is stupid.are men never happy with what they have?
RainyDayWoman Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 if they weren't happy with what they had, they would be alone with the magazines.
Toni_no12002 Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 yea but maybe if they can get away with doing it while there with someone they will.well if they are happy why look?
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 if they are happy why look? Because they incorporate their biological makeup (which includes sexual fantasy and appreciation for aesthetically pleasing things) with their emotional investment in you. Being happy in a relationship should not be based on how well partners limit themselves and each other. It should be based on how secure and happy they are with themselves, and bringing that mutual strength together into one solid and accepting relationship. Unfortunately, too many relationships are based on the demand of the feeding of insecure ego needs, instead of two strong individuals who wouldn't even consider something like porn and nudie mags an emotional threat. I guess it all depends on how strong and secure you and your partner are - insecure partners tend to be demanding, jealous, possessive, controlling and incapable of understanding the boundaries and needs of the individual within the relationship (even extending to not clearly understanding their own boundaries). Whatever floats your boat though. If for you, 'love' is the ability to sacrifice and supress your biology, brain chemistry and thought processes in order to serve someone else's ego needs - then those are traits you need to look for in a partner as well. There is nothing wrong with thinking this way. Plenty of people do. However, having a relationship with someone who does not, and expecting them to will get you nowhere. You will never have a successful relationship if the success rate depends on how well you force what is normal for you onto someone else, or demand that they willingly give up what is normal for them to suit your needs.
bluechocolate Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 Hi I'm not even sure if this is the right place. Here it goes. I met a man in a forensic reconstruction course 3 years ago. He was a police detective(he retired in july2005 at age 42)and was recently divorced to a wife who cheated on him. We went out almost every evening during the course. I thought he might be drinking too much. After the course I spoke with him over the phone a few times a week. We saw each other a few times a month. We were friendly to each other kissed .............. Thank you for reading. artemesia - you need to start your own thread or ask a mod to start one for you with this post (I wouldn't have said anything except that I like your user name!) from LucreziaBorgia Unfortunately, too many relationships are based on the demand of the feeding of insecure ego needs, instead of two strong individuals who wouldn't even consider something like porn and nudie mags an emotional threat. You will never have a successful relationship if the success rate depends on how well you force what is normal for you onto someone else, or demand that they willingly give up what is normal for them to suit your needs. amen
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