Beachead Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 Yea I do... I just figured since that's what Instagram is for (people posting things so that you can look at it) there's no harm. It harms you because you loved her and wanted to marry her. It didn't happen, you're hurting and so creeping an ex's social media account may make getting over them more difficult. Social Media has a very deceptive quality to it. People can choose what they show to the public and create a false picture. Coincidently, this is what we see. Now that may not seem like such a big deal but what if one of those stories you see, ends up being a picture of her with another guy? What if they're happy? You don't want to see that. Trust me. That's why I always tell people who've broken up..take the ex off of social media. Exes aren't going to be friends anytime soon. At the very best, a friendship will only be possible once you've completely detached and genuinely learned to be happy without one another. That may take a few years. By then, would you even want to be friends with them? That's the catch. Furthermore, if you've broke up, it was for a reason, and it ultimately means both people will move on to find new partners. Partners that likely won't be cool with exes which is what both of you will be. Hence, both you and her will eventually have to stop talking anyway. So in the end, what's the point? That's the way I see it. - Beach
Emmafive Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 There's a lot of harm. What you are doing is not healthy for your mental state. It stops you from focusing on other things and there's no good reason for it. You told her to move on yet you are not moving on when you persist in closely monitoring her activities several times per day. Social media is to keep in touch with friends, people you are in relationships with, relatives, that sort of thing. It's not to monitor the daily activities of your exgirlfriend. Maybe you won't agree but I don't think OP really wants his ex gf to be his ex gf. I think he still wants her.
Beachead Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 Maybe you won't agree but I don't think OP really wants his ex gf to be his ex gf. I think he still wants her. I think that too. And if not that, he is grieving.
Adiron Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 Maybe you won't agree but I don't think OP really wants his ex gf to be his ex gf. I think he still wants her. Of course he still wants her. There's no question. He told her to move on because he was dumped or was about to be dumped and he was trying to spare his own pride. Not a terrible strategy but you need to follow up on "move on" with um.. moving on with your own life otherwise you're weak and hypocritical and being dishonest with yourself.
zawadi16 Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 Of course he still wants her. There's no question. He told her to move on because he was dumped or was about to be dumped and he was trying to spare his own pride. Not a terrible strategy but you need to follow up on "move on" with um.. moving on with your own life otherwise you're weak and hypocritical and being dishonest with yourself. well op said she said something that made him tell her to move on so it couldn't be a pride thing could it? Also, if he wanted her wouldn't he speak up? I was always under the belief that if you want some you'll go after them.
Adiron Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 well op said she said something that made him tell her to move on so it couldn't be a pride thing could it? She already broke up with him once. When he told her to move on, she did, without looking back. Her actions make it fairly clear that she wanted out and his actions make it clear that he regrets saying "move on". Also, if he wanted her wouldn't he speak up? Good questions. Maybe he can answer these questions so we don't have to speculate. Do you want her back? What did she say to you that triggered you to say "move on".
Adiron Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 (edited) Out of curiosity I looked at his old threads. It's been going on for years. They constantly break up, they play the game of "who is going to call who first". 2 years ago he starts the same thread about deleting an ex off of social media because they broke up yet again. Here's his response to being told to delete her social media, almost 2 YEARS ago: Thanks for the insight. I get the deleting the person immediately-a clean break. More here: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/603625-why-heck-do-dumpers-delete-dumpee-off-social-media-2.html Edited June 30, 2018 by Adiron
Emmafive Posted July 1, 2018 Posted July 1, 2018 She already broke up with him once. When he told her to move on, she did, without looking back. Her actions make it fairly clear that she wanted out and his actions make it clear that he regrets saying "move on". Good questions. Maybe he can answer these questions so we don't have to speculate. Do you want her back? What did she say to you that triggered you to say "move on". I would just ask OP but the way he's been replying/denying I highly doubt he'd tell us. Heck, he probably is telling himself he doesn't want her when he actually does. I think he’s using this as his last emotional connection to his ex. He doesn’t want to move on. If I had to guess he didn’t really think his ex-was going to actually move on and he realized he put his foot so deep in it that it’s hard to come back from telling someone to move on. All in all OP knows he screwed up and is regretting it which explains his almost obsessive behavior with checking her posts multiple times a day almost every day. I could be wrong, but this is what I’m gathering from OP.
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