Leojax Posted June 26, 2018 Posted June 26, 2018 I loved my ex very much and wanted to marry her. Stuff happened and we broke up. Well she broke up with me. She came back 6 months later. I was really torn. We discussed things for almost 2 months and in one of our discussions about us she said something that really pissed me off to the point that it made me change my mind about us. I called her later that same day and told her she needed to move on. That was about a month ago. So is it weird that I've been looking at her insta story almost every time starting a few days after telling her to move on? I’ve been looking at almost every insta story she has posted since I told her to her to move on a month ago. For those who don’t know, if you view someone’s story it tells you who has viewed it-so she knows when I look. She posted something at 1 am last night and I checked it. I stopped looking then went back and looked at the rest of her story. Is it weird? I'm hoping that she sees that by me looking I'm indifferent about her/things with us. I think by avoiding it, it seems like I'm upset. Does that make sense?
CantTakeMySmile Posted June 26, 2018 Posted June 26, 2018 Isn't this the same post you had a few weeks ago?
OldSoulB Posted June 26, 2018 Posted June 26, 2018 It's only natural for someone to be still somewhat interested with another person they've been intimate with. If you're 100% sure of the break up, then only time will get rid of what you're going through currently. You'll get over it at some point. Though if you keep doing what you're doing, it'll only prolong that process. Otherwise if you still have feelings for her, then you're only lying to yourself by thinking you're done with her.
Emmafive Posted June 26, 2018 Posted June 26, 2018 It's only natural for someone to be still somewhat interested with another person they've been intimate with. If you're 100% sure of the break up, then only time will get rid of what you're going through currently. You'll get over it at some point. Though if you keep doing what you're doing, it'll only prolong that process. Otherwise if you still have feelings for her, then you're only lying to yourself by thinking you're done with her. I agree for the most part, but is this behavior of consistently looking considered "somewhat interested" though?
Adiron Posted June 27, 2018 Posted June 27, 2018 She will see you looking and think you're still interested in her. At worst she'll start thinking of you as a stalker. It's over. Look at other things.
bathtub-row Posted June 27, 2018 Posted June 27, 2018 Looking at what she’s doing DOES NOT spell indifference in any way, shape, or form. Just the opposite, actually. You may love this person but the two of you aren’t compatible. You should do what you told her to do - move on.
Author Leojax Posted June 27, 2018 Author Posted June 27, 2018 She will see you looking and think you're still interested in her. At worst she'll start thinking of you as a stalker. It's over. Look at other things. So wait, looking at her posts consistently shows that I'm still interested in her? I mean I care about her as a person, but not romantically.
Author Leojax Posted June 27, 2018 Author Posted June 27, 2018 You're in BIG denial right now. How am I in denial?
bathtub-row Posted June 27, 2018 Posted June 27, 2018 so wait, looking at her posts consistently shows that i'm still interested in her? I mean i care about her as a person, but not romantically. are you serious???!!!
Author Leojax Posted June 27, 2018 Author Posted June 27, 2018 are you serious???!!! I am. Isn't that what social media is for? To look at other people's things? How does it convey that I'm still romantically interested in her?
kgcolonel Posted June 27, 2018 Posted June 27, 2018 if you were indifferent to her or even interested on the same level as someone else, you would not be looking at her SM everyday and sometimes twice a day. Your thinking that by looking at her SM shows indifference is how you're in denial. If a cute girl began checking your SM daily you would think she was interested in what you're up to etc...
preraph Posted June 27, 2018 Posted June 27, 2018 I am. Isn't that what social media is for? To look at other people's things? How does it convey that I'm still romantically interested in her? You can't be serious. I mean, it just looks like you're totally pining over her and haven't moved on, which you haven't, even though you told her to move on. If you want her back, you better have a talk. 1
Adiron Posted June 27, 2018 Posted June 27, 2018 I am. Isn't that what social media is for? To look at other people's things? How does it convey that I'm still romantically interested in her? There comes a time when relationships and friendships end. When they end you have no business looking at their things. If you continue to look at their things on a daily basis it's weird. I think you already know this which is why you started this thread by asking "Is it weird that I look at her things?".
zawadi16 Posted June 29, 2018 Posted June 29, 2018 You can't be serious. I mean, it just looks like you're totally pining over her and haven't moved on, which you haven't, even though you told her to move on. If you want her back, you better have a talk. How does it seem like he’s pining? Isn’t normal to still be curious about about an ex after it’s over?
Author Leojax Posted June 30, 2018 Author Posted June 30, 2018 How does it seem like he’s pining? Isn’t normal to still be curious about about an ex after it’s over? Thank you. My point.
Author Leojax Posted June 30, 2018 Author Posted June 30, 2018 You can't be serious. I mean, it just looks like you're totally pining over her and haven't moved on, which you haven't, even though you told her to move on. If you want her back, you better have a talk. That's the thing I'm not pining for her. I’d much rather be single than be with someone who fills my heart with doubt.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 That's the thing I'm not pining for her. I’d much rather be single than be with someone who fills my heart with doubt. If you knew she was looking at your social media activity with some frequency after a break-up, what would you think? I doubt you would assume she's indifferent to you. While I don't think you're necessarily pining for her, I don't think you're conveying indifference to her either. Yes, it's normal to be curious about an ex and have a look sometimes. But your goal seems to be to show her that you're over her, which I don't believe you're going to achieve this way.
Beachead Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 (edited) I loved my ex very much and wanted to marry her. Stuff happened and we broke up. Well she broke up with me. She came back 6 months later. I was really torn. We discussed things for almost 2 months and in one of our discussions about us she said something that really pissed me off to the point that it made me change my mind about us. I called her later that same day and told her she needed to move on. That was about a month ago. So is it weird that I've been looking at her insta story almost every time starting a few days after telling her to move on? I’ve been looking at almost every insta story she has posted since I told her to her to move on a month ago. For those who don’t know, if you view someone’s story it tells you who has viewed it-so she knows when I look. She posted something at 1 am last night and I checked it. I stopped looking then went back and looked at the rest of her story. Is it weird? I'm hoping that she sees that by me looking I'm indifferent about her/things with us. I think by avoiding it, it seems like I'm upset. Does that make sense? OP, It'll show them at the very least, that your mind is on them but you are unwilling to engage. The question here are what do you want and what are you ultimately hoping to achieve? - Beach Edited June 30, 2018 by Beachead
Adiron Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 How does it seem like he’s pining? Isn’t normal to still be curious about about an ex after it’s over? He said in the first post that he told her to move on, and now he looks at her social media pages "every time" which probably means every day or even more frequently. Whatever it means it's way too much to be idle curiosity and he knows it which is why he started this thread. Depending on how often "every time" actually is, it can even be considered stalkerish.
Author Leojax Posted June 30, 2018 Author Posted June 30, 2018 He said in the first post that he told her to move on, and now he looks at her social media pages "every time" which probably means every day or even more frequently. Whatever it means it's way too much to be idle curiosity and he knows it which is why he started this thread. Depending on how often "every time" actually is, it can even be considered stalkerish. She posts a few times a day. Almost every day. Music, her dog, etc. I only created this thread because my buddy thought it was "really weird", I do/didn't think it was, and that's why I created the thread.
Adiron Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 She posts a few times a day. I only created this thread because my buddy thought it was "really weird You check her social media a few times per day? I agree with your buddy although I don't know that I'd use the expression "weird", I'd say "obsessed" and "stalkerish" but not necessarily "weird" because it happens often enough when people (mostly guys) are dumped.
Author Leojax Posted June 30, 2018 Author Posted June 30, 2018 You check her social media a few times per day? I agree with your buddy although I don't know that I'd use the expression "weird", I'd say "obsessed" and "stalkerish" but not necessarily "weird" because it happens often enough when people (mostly guys) are dumped. Yea I do... I just figured since that's what Instagram is for (people posting things so that you can look at it) there's no harm.
Adiron Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 Yea I do... I just figured since that's what Instagram is for (people posting things so that you can look at it) there's no harm. There's a lot of harm. What you are doing is not healthy for your mental state. It stops you from focusing on other things and there's no good reason for it. You told her to move on yet you are not moving on when you persist in closely monitoring her activities several times per day. Social media is to keep in touch with friends, people you are in relationships with, relatives, that sort of thing. It's not to monitor the daily activities of your exgirlfriend.
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