obscuredreamer Posted August 31, 2005 Posted August 31, 2005 I feel as though I am trapped. I have been with this guy for just about 2 years. I started dating him immediatly after breaking up with my b/f of 5 years. Anyhow, we are now engaged. I have tried breaking up with him in the past but he is a very sensitive guy so I would feel real bad and then the brea up just wouldn't happen. I have done that twice now. I cheated on him once and told him and he forgave me right away, but I have cheated on him again and he doesn't know, I've never been like that, I am against cheating, I don't know why I do it. When I look at him I find myself nitpicking his features, I don't really find myself attracted to him. He is a very caring generous guy and I really don't want to hurt him or myself for that matter. I have resently met someone else, I just met them about a 2 weeks ago, but we have connected so well, we have starred into each others eyes for long periods of time and I was completely comfortable, and I have never been comfortable starring into anyones eyes before, it is so weird, I'm just so comfortable around him, and he has said the same thing to me, he knows I am engaged, but we seem more compatible that my current partner. I can't help but second guess myself though, but then I remember I am only 22yrs old, but I sure am confused. I have to make a decision soon though.
Candy Cane Posted August 31, 2005 Posted August 31, 2005 Are you living with your fiance? If so, I'd move out. I'd tell the fiance that you just need some time before making such a big commitment, and that you still love him, but that you hope he gives you some time to deal with some uncertainties that you are having. You might feel the same way about the new guy as you now do with your fiance in a few years...so I wouldn't go jumping into something new. Just take some time to deal with all these feelings you are having. The funny thing about feelings is that they always seem to change, so doing something drastic like dumping your fiance might be a huge mistake in the long run. Good luck!
Jayhawks Posted August 31, 2005 Posted August 31, 2005 I cheated on him once and told him and he forgave me right away, but I have cheated on him again and he doesn't know, I've never been like that, I am against cheating, I don't know why I do it. You do it because you want him to find out so he will break up with you. I have recently met someone else, I just met them about a 2 weeks ago, but we have connected so well, we have starred into each others eyes for long periods of time and I was completely comfortable, and I have never been comfortable starring into anyones eyes before, it is so weird, I'm just so comfortable around him, and he has said the same thing to me, he knows I am engaged, but we seem more compatible that my current partner. Let him go. He deserves better and you don't want him. You will hurt him so you will have to live with that guilt. I doubt if this guy is really all that as you are just looking for someone to ease your guilt over your guy. After two weeks you have more if a connection with this guy vs. your engaged ( who you have known for 2 years ) ? WTF!! Let him go and be honest with him. He deserves it.
hoppy28 Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 you dont know why you cheat???!!! i think im going to puke. grow a spine and atliest do your "boyfriend" a favor and let him go. shame on him for taking you back the first time. once a cheat always a cheat. when things get "old" with the new guy youll probably do the same thing. grass isnt always greener on the other side sweety. sorry to be so harsh but reading crap like this makes me sick. when are people going to step up for there actions??!!
sadgirlRN Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 if you even have to ask, it means you shouldn't be with this guy. get out before you waste a lot of money on a wedding.
lamar_84 Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 Yeah, Let him know now because its gonna only cause more pain in the long run
fundamental Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 obscuredreamer, In my opinion, you are too young for committment and this guy is obviously not for you. You cheat on him so that he can break up with you instead of the you breaking up with him--which would make you feel guilty. I can bet that if you told him about this, he will still want to be with you. This guy deserves better. You have to be honest with him and tell him that you do not want to get married because you are interested in other people. If you don't tell him the truth or if you make up a story, he will be even more confused and will be posting here on LS for the next 8 months wondering why his girlfriend broke up with him.
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