ItsAllConfusing Posted June 24, 2018 Posted June 24, 2018 I don't feel passion when we kiss. I'm very attracted to him. Hes very sexy. His lips and mouth are bigger than mine. When he kisses he sticks his whole tongue in my mouth. When I try to move my lips one way he moves another. I feel too overwhelmed and like i dont know what to do. I don't mind kissing him when I climax, it's good then. I love kissing him on the cheek, neck, chest and shoulders. I really enjoyed kissing my last boyfriend so I don't understand what's going on here. I do love,love,love sex with him. He's sooooooooooo good and willing to please. How can I fix this? Kissing should be enjoyable.
preraph Posted June 24, 2018 Posted June 24, 2018 I had a similar situation once and i couldn't fix it and didn't try to. I just put it in the negative column and avoided kissing as much as possible. People do get offended when you tell them how to kiss, so it's risky. I mean, maybe you could tell him, "not so much tongue, please" and then brag on him if he kisses you better. Good luck.
Lotsgoingon Posted June 24, 2018 Posted June 24, 2018 You know ... one day ... you can touch him gently and lovingly and say ... I have a request ... Layer on all the compliments--genuine one ... and then say I am an odd kisser ... and I'd like to try something with you ... See if you can go more gently ... There's a way you can do this ... bring it up without killing his ego. I had a woman complain about my kissing ... and make suggestions. Didn't feel bad ... because I think she and I were just different types of kissers ... When I was younger, I seem to recall women making sex suggestions ... I wasn't offended ... So you are simply point talking abot adjusting his kissing to closer to your style ... I really doubt that he's committed to his kissing method. If you show him how to kiss in a way that really turns you on ... oh, he will so for that. So when he starts kissing you the more gentle way you coach him on ... make a big positive deal ... which probably won't be hard to do ... since you will really be enjoying this kiss. I thought you were gonna say you felt nothing when you kissed him. That's an unfixable problem. This is easily fixable .. but the sooner the better. You don't wanna let someone go on for years and years, and then you let out that you don't like their kissing style. Definitely fixable. And talk-about-able. 1
maxi105 Posted June 24, 2018 Posted June 24, 2018 hey its all confusing, if you love your partner equally as much as they make you feel good? if so, then i think its worth finding a way out of this situation and hopefully it shouldn't be too tough to get this sorted. I agree with the post about getting this sorted quickly before it becomes something that could spoil your relationship, but I also can see how this is could be tricky and may also not be fixable if it is some kind of purely physical thing alone or the person cannot take what you are saying and wants to do something constructive with it and gets offended or feels that you are dissing them....is your partner young...it seems like a young guy that (in this context and post) is maybe not that advanced in kissing...I don't know...only you know that kind of thing, im just asking if that's the case... if it were me id just say it to him, say it out of the house, in a green space where you can enjoy the atmosphere together but its not suffocating or pressured like a home or in a place you can not be overheard or bothered by others... maybe if you just have to say it in the middle of a silence and move on quickly and let the shock (mild though it is) take hold and give space for his reaction. if he's young it might be easy to take and get back without taking it to heart, or it could go not so well and it might hurt him, again chose how to tell him from how he is as a person and your lover. listen carefully to what he says if he is hurt by what you are saying and reassure him before you tell him that you love him and you want things to be even greater with him. sure it might bruise his ego, but if he loves you he'll want to try to sort this for himself surely!!!!....if he's very immature or has been in a situation of delusion or built up by other people (male friends who like to talk about women in a cheap way for fun or to impress them) then he may take it badly or see it as you knocking him and keep going over it like your wrong, but hopefully he'll take what you are saying and see/appreciate the difficulty of how sensitive it has been for you to talk about this with him. I guess maybe he just thinks because he is with you and you like him and find him sexy etc...he is a naturally gifted at kissing. (that and the fact that you haven't told him the truth of it all!!!!!!)...well maybe its time to bust that little myth (ego attached or not!) sometimes people just need to hear the truth...with kindness of course - you have no cause to hurt him if you are in a relationship anyway and the same should be of anyone in a relationship...but that's another post hey... maybe make a joke of it after you deliver the bad news and say you are willing to practice as much as he needs ...but really why let someone think they are good at something(so intimate) that they are not.it is only fuelling his ego and giving a false impression that is really from what you say is hurting you both in a different way. some guys just automatically think they have it all (regardless of what the people they lust/fantasize after - think or would think of them and don't realise that the way they act all tough is quite sad to see as an outsider), they think they are gods gift just by walking in the street or just by being male (and its usually young/immature males that fall foul of this kinda thing) !!!!!! but before you all slam me down im well aware also that there are also as equally many women and younger girls out there that also think they are the best thing in the universe...and they can get what they want just by being female...but again that's another post.... but whatever....even these gods (and goddesses) make mistakes sometimes!!!!! the thing is if you have honest 100% real love with this guy you then its all cool, so maybe whilst you are telling him this little shock ask if there is an area you could improve on for him in how you treat him and see what he says? you say he's hot in the sack, but hopefully you are returning that exact heat back to him.....as if not then you need to sort that too out of fairness to him, but im sure you are both compatible, im just thinking aloud. but whatever you do I think you gotta tell him real soon, its not good for the relationship to carry this on long term. best wishes, this was a bit awkward to write....but I said what I said...and hopefully you too will find what you need to say...because if you cant find the words then it is going to get a lot more difficult and wounding as resentment will start to take over. use the time you have whilst you still feel him attractive and sexy to sort this out for the better. phew.....that's done!!!!! lol......good luck, you'll sort this Im sure of it. see ya. maxi.
BoxNSox Posted June 24, 2018 Posted June 24, 2018 Talk to him, but bring it up in a loving way. If a girlfriend of mine thought I was a bad kisser I would rather know about it and try to change it than continue to be a bad kisser.
carhill Posted June 24, 2018 Posted June 24, 2018 Show and tell what you want. On the passion thing, question... do you feel passion and desire prior to kissing and then the disparity in technique/style kills the passion? Or, is your style that you don't really feel anything before kissing someone and the act of kissing inspires passion and desire? Being older I've found women to be all over the place in style; what I try to communicate is honesty, to focus on what they like and not what they think I might like due to their past interactions with men. If our styles mesh that portends well for any future lovemaking as kissing for myself comes long before any sexual activity. I see the kissing thing as compatibility. It either flows or it doesn't. Of course, that's looking at it from some four decades plus of such interactions. I'm pretty set in my ways. Younger folks might be open to 'training'; I'm not. I got a lot of grief for my gentle, graduated approach when younger but still like it so stick with it. It expresses my passion perfectly. If that's not acceptable, OK.
alphamale Posted June 24, 2018 Posted June 24, 2018 Some people are good kissers, some are not. yep, either you have it or you don't
carhill Posted June 24, 2018 Posted June 24, 2018 Perhaps we can get the OP to describe what a good kisser is. I noted they haven't returned to engage with any of the responses and what a 'good kisser' is to her would definitely help. She identified what appears to one negative, that he sticks his tongue in her mouth. OP, in that vein, what would be 'good' for you?
Ruby Slippers Posted June 26, 2018 Posted June 26, 2018 I agree that kissing is a skill one either has or doesn't have. But if everything else is good, I'd try to improve it. Tell him to let you kiss him, then kiss him the way you like to be kissed. When he does it well, keep kissing. When he does it badly, stop. Hopefully he can learn.
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