Author Grey40 Posted June 22, 2018 Author Posted June 22, 2018 I don't want to beat on you while you're down but you knew better right from the beginning then to expect anything out of this woman. Remind yourself a lot of your hardships come from not trusting your instinct when it tells you *don't do it*. Another great point. I’m not down about this because I was pretty much just giving it a shot hoping for the best. What bothered me is that she didn’t take the courtesy to decline the offer, she literally left me hanging and that annoyed.
SevenCity Posted June 23, 2018 Posted June 23, 2018 No it isn't. No one is that busy that they can't fit in a handful of 30 minute meetups a few times per week. I looked at your previous threads and sure enough I found this: Friday and Saturday nights are the worst. I am a home body and an introvert so meeting people has not been a goal in my life I'm in my mid 40s and lost touch with friends for various reasons (my closest ones proved untrustworthy). The only close friend I have is married and out of state. So far I've just been watching movies at home but that is getting old. During the day I try to go out to the store just to keep myself busy and it helps to be out of the house. In summary: You're a homebody who has no friends and doesn't know what to do on Friday and Saturday nights, you sit at home and watch movies, and you go to the store just to keep busy. Stop making excuses for not meeting women, it's not going to get you any closer to your stated goal. At what point did I say I had difficulty meeting women? Are you confusing me with another poster? That post sounds like shortly after my breakup and I was not in a good place which I can fully admit. I learned to love being alone and had no shortage of dates or sex since then. My issue was finding one I wanted more than sex from. I finaly did find a woman I want to keep around long term - she's wearing my shirt with no panties right now in the barroom getting ready for bed.
coolheadal Posted June 23, 2018 Posted June 23, 2018 Is this like something common among women? I text a girl and they respond almost immediately (within 5-10 minutes) when I ask them how their day is going etc. and they sound super enthused to hear from me. Then I will send a text asking them out for a date (specific day, specific plan etc) and then they either respond 4-6 hours later or not at all. This has happened to me a few times, even with women that I know and have met in person before, so it’s not specific to OLD. I would normally chalk it up to low interest but I’ve had girls take that long and then agree to the date and we end up In bed together, and some respond and decline, some just ignore. Is there something I’m missing here? Why take so many hours to get back to someone? (I’ve seen these women all over social media for hours, so I know they are on their phone and could have replied). Your new in their eyes they're excited to text you quick! You want to date they don't get that excited over you. Right there you know these are not the right type for you. Just don't settle on one or two or 3. Have options until you hit JACKPOT!
Adiron Posted June 23, 2018 Posted June 23, 2018 (edited) At what point did I say I had difficulty meeting women? Are you confusing me with another poster? Nope not confusing you with another poster. When I read your rather strange post about your time being so limited and valuable that you don't have time for a few brief meetups during the week, I took a brief look at your posting history and found a thread you started a short 2 years ago where you say you sit home and watch movies alone because you lost all your friends and you failed at dating and you're a homebody and you go to the store sometimes just to keep busy while you're waiting around for your ex to hopefully change her mind and take you back. It's right here https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/588949-what-should-single-guy-do-friday-saturday-night Edited June 23, 2018 by Adiron
smackie9 Posted June 23, 2018 Posted June 23, 2018 Try Bumble where women have to contact you. Or you did you try that already and all you got was crickets?
SevenCity Posted June 23, 2018 Posted June 23, 2018 Nope not confusing you with another poster. When I read your rather strange post about your time being so limited and valuable that you don't have time for a few brief meetups during the week, I took a brief look at your posting history and found a thread you started a short 2 years ago where you say you sit home and watch movies alone because you lost all your friends and you failed at dating and you're a homebody and you go to the store sometimes just to keep busy while you're waiting around for your ex to hopefully change her mind and take you back. It's right here https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/588949-what-should-single-guy-do-friday-saturday-night A lot can change from when you first get dumped two years prior. If you'll note, I was trying to work things out with my ex so I was not looking for women. Since then I've had a pretty busy social life and got a new job so my time became a lot more limited. And it's not about not having time, its choosing to spend my time with women who are very interested rather than ones who are not. You'll have a lot more fun. Or doing something other than going out with a woman. I'm glad you have more free time than me.
SevenCity Posted June 23, 2018 Posted June 23, 2018 Try Bumble where women have to contact you. Or you did you try that already and all you got was crickets? This is why I used bumble but you still will get the no response. Perhaps not as much though. I think a lot of women use it for attention and clam up when the guy asks them out...on a dating site...how rude! I'm sure I missed many opportunities by my strict rules but it's not worth the effort to try to convince a girl to go out with you. Surprisingly to me, according to many of the women I dated, guys do that a lot.
Adiron Posted June 23, 2018 Posted June 23, 2018 Since then I've had a pretty busy social life and got a new job so my time became a lot more limited. How do you spend your Friday and Saturday nights, generally speaking? And it's not about not having time, its choosing to spend my time with women who are very interested My time is limited and valuable. Which one of your two posts above is accurate? They can't both be right.
Author Grey40 Posted June 23, 2018 Author Posted June 23, 2018 Adiron stop trying to argue with someone on my thread. What are you 10 years old? Let the dude be. You care too much. 2
gone_girl Posted June 23, 2018 Posted June 23, 2018 I dislike the whole 'wait for the man to do everything' thing. I don't want to pretend I'm a person without a voice. Now, as a contrast, I'm generally quite shy. I have a hard time asking any person out (even friends/family). But if a person, a man, shows interest in seeing me, I'll meet him halfway. For example, I've been talking to this scandinavian man who asked me if I want to meet up but without making concrete plans. I'm very well aware that nordic men are usually very discreet and hesitant because they don't want to impose on a woman. It's out of respect. So, I proposed a day, and he agreed it's perfect. But still no specific plan. Then, since he agreed, I proposed my preferred time and place and he seemed enthusiastic to meet. And this left me feeling no less feminine. It's best for both men and women to have an open mind, there are a millions ways to relate to a person. 1
Author Grey40 Posted June 23, 2018 Author Posted June 23, 2018 Try Bumble where women have to contact you. Or you did you try that already and all you got was crickets? Yeah I like Bumble for the most part and I’ve had a lot of success on that app for sure. The problem I’m having is that the quality of woman I want to be with don’t seem to be interested in me enough. I have no problem getting dates. But the women I really like a lot never seem to like me back mutually. I’m not sure how I’m acting that’s causing that, but I must be acting more needy without knowing it. I pretty much never do though, so it’s just tough to know what the issue is. When my match with super hot women, they show interest but make it reducilously difficult to meet up. They’ll stalk my social media, like all my stuff but if I reach out to set a date they either ignore it or come up with excuses. I’ve been told by women who I’m friends with that a lot of girls find me really attractive and really intimidating so maybe they are more nervous than I think? I would think if a chick is really into you and attracted she’s not going to let you get away but it seems like girls are purposely putting a wall With me—because I’m a musician and good looking they assume I can get whoever I want and will probably screw them over and be untrustworthy:
Versacehottie Posted June 23, 2018 Posted June 23, 2018 I dislike the whole 'wait for the man to do everything' thing. I don't want to pretend I'm a person without a voice. Now, as a contrast, I'm generally quite shy. I have a hard time asking any person out (even friends/family). But if a person, a man, shows interest in seeing me, I'll meet him halfway. For example, I've been talking to this scandinavian man who asked me if I want to meet up but without making concrete plans. I'm very well aware that nordic men are usually very discreet and hesitant because they don't want to impose on a woman. It's out of respect. So, I proposed a day, and he agreed it's perfect. But still no specific plan. Then, since he agreed, I proposed my preferred time and place and he seemed enthusiastic to meet. And this left me feeling no less feminine. It's best for both men and women to have an open mind, there are a millions ways to relate to a person. Bolded ^^^ is brilliant 1
Author Grey40 Posted June 23, 2018 Author Posted June 23, 2018 I dislike the whole 'wait for the man to do everything' thing. I don't want to pretend I'm a person without a voice. Now, as a contrast, I'm generally quite shy. I have a hard time asking any person out (even friends/family). But if a person, a man, shows interest in seeing me, I'll meet him halfway. For example, I've been talking to this scandinavian man who asked me if I want to meet up but without making concrete plans. I'm very well aware that nordic men are usually very discreet and hesitant because they don't want to impose on a woman. It's out of respect. So, I proposed a day, and he agreed it's perfect. But still no specific plan. Then, since he agreed, I proposed my preferred time and place and he seemed enthusiastic to meet. And this left me feeling no less feminine. It's best for both men and women to have an open mind, there are a millions ways to relate to a person. Yeah I think people make way too big of a deal about “acting weak” and “less masculine” and that if you don’t do certain things the women is going to think you’re a weak little wuss or something. It’s definitley overblown. It’s more true if you act weak consistently all the time, then that will cause an issue. The reason why men should set dates and come Up with concrete definite plans is because 90% of men don’t. Most guys just say “come meet me here” or they ask the woman what she wants to do, or they just say let’s meet up “sometime”. When you come up with the plan right on the spot I think some women get thrown off and don’t know how to act because men almost never do that. But it shows you’re interested, shows you can take initiative and makes it really stress free for the woman if she likes you,
gone_girl Posted June 23, 2018 Posted June 23, 2018 Yeah I think people make way too big of a deal about “acting weak” and “less masculine” and that if you don’t do certain things the women is going to think you’re a weak little wuss or something. It’s definitley overblown. It’s more true if you act weak consistently all the time, then that will cause an issue. The reason why men should set dates and come Up with concrete definite plans is because 90% of men don’t. Most guys just say “come meet me here” or they ask the woman what she wants to do, or they just say let’s meet up “sometime”. When you come up with the plan right on the spot I think some women get thrown off and don’t know how to act because men almost never do that. But it shows you’re interested, shows you can take initiative and makes it really stress free for the woman if she likes you, I think it's silly doing things for appearances only. What could be more masculine than actually giving priority to a woman, give her space to voice her wishes and then grant them? Isn't it how the sexes are supposed to work with each other? I'm very attracted to that - in the past I've had men making the plans without asking or hearing me, or doing only things they wanted to do. It was offensive and obviously these didn't last. I'm not saying that a man shouldn't have an opinion and making special plans, I'm saying that it's nice to have free thinking, see a person as a person, take into account their personality, overall behaviour, heritage...
Author Grey40 Posted June 23, 2018 Author Posted June 23, 2018 I think it's silly doing things for appearances only. What could be more masculine than actually giving priority to a woman, give her space to voice her wishes and then grant them? Isn't it how the sexes are supposed to work with each other? I'm very attracted to that - in the past I've had men making the plans without asking or hearing me, or doing only things they wanted to do. It was offensive and obviously these didn't last. I'm not saying that a man shouldn't have an opinion and making special plans, I'm saying that it's nice to have free thinking, see a person as a person, take into account their personality, overall behaviour, heritage... Yeah totally agreed. A lot of women are terrible at making decisions and choices though, and usually can’t make up their mind (second guessing etc), so I always plan things. IF she has no problem with it she’ll say so or suggest something else and then will compromise
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