Please help me! Can you give some advice about my plan of pursuing girls

[Jerry2200]

Hi,everyone, this is a desperate guy who ask for help to pick up a girlfriend. If anyone can give me some constructive suggestions, I will appreciate them very much.

 

I come from East Asia, I have a decent job and I am running an online business, even it is a small company but it is potential. In my spare time, I organize a voluntary organization to visit working–class kindergarden, in which the childrenˊs parents who work in sweatshops. Bring fun and happiness to these children is my purpose.

 

I hope I can bring some volunteers to visit the working-class kindergarden,where we can sing and dance, lead the children to play intellective games.

 

From the point of career, Iˊm not bad. But from the point of love, I totally lost. I havenˊt have a girlfriend yet. It is not my fault. I was raised in a family where there is no love exist. My parents divorced when I was a kid. My relatives were cold and selfish.There were not any female relatives care about me.

 

Iˊm not a boring guy, my appearance is not bad. I like Kungfu martial arts and Iˊm good at cooking. My hobby is comedy ,such as Molière and Mr bean.

 

I tried to find a girlfriend in my city, but I failed.The girls concern about height and wealth rather than my personality.Iˊ m not tall enough. We have very

few social occasions to meet each other ,we have to contact each other on bbs forum of our city. Everyone have to post his/her profile data such as age\height\ wealth without a picture,if someone is not tall enough or not rich enough,he will be ignored as soon as possible.The game is so harsh.

 

I have to find another way.

 

There are some foreigner girls visit our country.I tried to say hello to them but I didnˊt have enough courage.I need a suitable occasion to meet a girl.

 

These days I came up with an idea,a plan which can kill two birds with one stone. Why donˊt I make the best of my voluntary organization? I can invite foreigner girls to join my group, we can play games with children, and I can choose one of them as my girlfriend. My project is kind of homestay for students who study abroad. I can afford their accommodation and meals. But the biggest problem is how can I avoid men or married women to join my group after I post my recruitment on public forum or social media like Facebook? Should I edit my recruitment and write down that the volunteers are only for female? Will I be accused as sex discrimination? Should I post the age range between 20-30years old? Will I be accused as age discrimination? How should I write properly? I have to aim more accurately.

 

Even I succeed in inviting some girls to my group, I still have some problems. If I ask her“Do you wanna be my girlfriend?” “Sorry, I have a boyfriend.” That means my previous efforts are wasted. Or maybe she replies “What are you talking about? Iˊm not interested in being your girlfriend.I came here just for the Children,not for you.” I donˊt want to be criticized that I have another intention behind the voluntary organization . I understand the foreigner students come to my country just for learning and travel. “You are a good man ,but you ˊre not charming.”

 

So do you think my plan is weird,ridiculous ,unrealistic or unpractical?

 

The last opportunity is employ a female assistant for my small company. I can post a part-time job ad on lacal forum, and I will receive a lot of e-mails from girls. The problem is the girls are hunting for money, while I am looking for love, we are really apples and oranges. If I tell her that my money is tight, I canˊt pay your salary, could we bridge over the difficulties? ”No! I came here just for money. I must go now!” So what can I do?

 

Please help me!

Edited June 21, 2018 by Jerry2200
wrong title

[quankanne]

a friend, divorced and in her mid-40s, I think hit the nail on the head when she said, "I've come to realize that the only way to find a guy is to just put yourself out there, where you'll meet over common interests."

 

if I were single, that's what I'd do: Met folks through my interests (hobbies/volunteer work/etc), which would give us something in common. However, I know you're hoping for love. Sometimes, that doesn't happen right away ... your best, first step is to just put yourself out there, as my friend says. You might not be attracted to some of the women you meet, not in a romantic sense, but you will network, so to speak.

 

my advice to you: Baby steps. Broaden your social circles, and make your goal meeting a large number of people. That will get the ball rolling, so to speak.

 

hope this helps!

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

But the biggest problem is how can I avoid men or married women to join my group after I post my recruitment on public forum or social media like Facebook? Should I edit my recruitment and write down that the volunteers are only for female? Will I be accused as sex discrimination? Should I post the age range between 20-30years old? Will I be accused as age discrimination? How should I write properly? I have to aim more accurately.

 

Luring women in any fashion for the purpose of "choosing one of them to be your girlfriend" is all kinds of creepy.

 

Don't exploit innocent children for this purpose.

[Adiron]

These days I came up with an idea,a plan which can kill two birds with one stone. Why donˊt I make the best of my voluntary organization? I can invite foreigner girls to join my group, we can play games with children, and I can choose one of them as my girlfriend.

 

 

I agree with the other poster, inviting foreign girls to your group, pretending to do it for a good purpose but really doing it as a ploy to get a girlfriend is just plain creepy and weird especially when you talk about killing birds with a stone.

 

 

 

Also you don't just ask a girl to be your girlfriend. It doesn't work that way and it never will, unless you're willing to pay her for it because it's her job.

[preraph]

I don't know how old you are. But to avoid as many married ones as possible, go to a college and tell them you need some summer interns or something like that. Limited amount of time. Try to fix it where they get college credits for volunteering.

 

Now, I see that even though you seem like a very nice man, you may truly have some problems knowing how to love someone and maybe aren't socialized very well for a romantic approach. It's something that as long as your heart is true, you will just have to gain from experience. So there will be some awkward failures. With the temporary interns, summer interns, don't flirt while they are working with you, but keep in touch afterward and once they're not your "student," then maybe you can ask one who seems friendly out.

 

It seems to be universal that women go for tall guys, but I think the key for the majority of people who are not picture perfect is to find someone who shares their passions and get to know them that way. I wonder if you won't meet a kindergarten teacher or student teacher because of your wonderful work and wishing you much success with that!

 

First learn to just feel comfortable talking to people in general, then women, and once you start to feel comfortable just talking to them, ease into flirtation, but only if one is being extra friendly to you, never with one who seems she doesn't care at all.

 

Another way to get used to women and meet new ones is have a little party and tell people to bring friends and then meet and greet everyone to widen your circle.

 

Good luck.

[normal person]

Your plan sounds deceitful and disingenuous from a western perspective. Maybe that's acceptable in your country, but here in the US that would be frowned upon.

 

I tried to find a girlfriend in my city, but I failed.The girls concern about height and wealth rather than my personality.Iˊ m not tall enough. We have very

few social occasions to meet each other ,we have to contact each other on bbs forum of our city. Everyone have to post his/her profile data such as age\height\ wealth without a picture,if someone is not tall enough or not rich enough,he will be ignored as soon as possible.The game is so harsh.

 

I have to find another way.

 

How did people meet before they had this forum?

 

What about just going to a bar with your friends and meeting some women there?

[warp123]

Listen to yourself, you want to use the voluntary organization as some kind of tool/bait to lure women. Sounds very sad.

 

Rejection might affect you. You will have to act nice when the girls reject you while your frustration of being rejected once again with this silly plan kills you inside.

 

Keep the organization and dating separate.