Realiz Posted June 18, 2018 Posted June 18, 2018 So it's a few months now since the break up, it happened because i had been depressed for months and messed up, i know it was my fault in that i diden't get help sooner. It's been quite a rough break up for me, i kinda feel like i handled it poorly and unhealthy, it was my first ever relationship so that might have abit to do with it, i've learned alot about myself though these last months. When we broke up i diden't feel it directly, almost like it was just a dream you know? that i would i just wake up one day and it would go back to how it was. We still talked alot and was still in contact which was confusing for me. When we broke up she said still wanted to be with me but i had to get help, so the months after i have been getting better and help from therapists and my family with dealing with my depression and anxeity. She started talking to me less and less, so i asked her if she still wanted a future with me? she said she loved me and diden't want to lose me, but don't think we was ready to get back together soon. I get the feeling she's moving on, she acts hot and cold and rarely contacts me first. Lately we have been a no contact really, think it's been 4 weeks since we last spoke, i just have trouble moving on... i still love her and i know she does too. I guess the part that's confusing me is that she still says she wants to be with me if i improve my mental health, which is what i've been working on these last few months and still am. I'm i letting myself get false hopes? i want to fight for her and shove her we can have a life together but that's not possible if it's only me that wants it. Appreciate any help and advice.
Normm Posted June 18, 2018 Posted June 18, 2018 I guess the part that's confusing me is that she still says she wants to be with me if i improve my mental health She's not saying that. It's been a month since she last said anything to you. She might have said it before, she might have felt it before but actions speak louder. She's no longer interested. i want to fight for her and shove her we can have a life together but that's not possible if it's only me that wants it. The good news is that you're ahead of a lot of posters who come onto this forum and others like it who have been dumped and say "I'm going to fight for him or her, they broke up for the wrong reasons and I know it's best for us to be together, we're soulmates" or some sort of combination to that effect. The person saying that seems to forget that the dumper is a unique individual person who is entitled to their own choices and it's not up to the dumpee to decide if they should both be together. So give yourself a pat on the back for realizing that it will help you move forward- without her.
Marc878 Posted June 18, 2018 Posted June 18, 2018 So it's a few months now since the break up, it happened because i had been depressed for months and messed up, i know it was my fault in that i diden't get help sooner. It's been quite a rough break up for me, i kinda feel like i handled it poorly and unhealthy, it was my first ever relationship so that might have abit to do with it, i've learned alot about myself though these last months. When we broke up i diden't feel it directly, almost like it was just a dream you know? that i would i just wake up one day and it would go back to how it was. We still talked alot and was still in contact which was confusing for me. When we broke up she said still wanted to be with me but i had to get help, so the months after i have been getting better and help from therapists and my family with dealing with my depression and anxeity. She started talking to me less and less, so i asked her if she still wanted a future with me? she said she loved me and diden't want to lose me, but don't think we was ready to get back together soon. I get the feeling she's moving on, she acts hot and cold and rarely contacts me first. Lately we have been a no contact really, think it's been 4 weeks since we last spoke, i just have trouble moving on... i still love her and i know she does too. I guess the part that's confusing me is that she still says she wants to be with me if i improve my mental health, which is what i've been working on these last few months and still am. I'm i letting myself get false hopes? i want to fight for her and shove her we can have a life together but that's not possible if it's only me that wants it. Appreciate any help and advice. Words don't mean much but her actions do. You are correct it takes two.
Author Realiz Posted June 19, 2018 Author Posted June 19, 2018 Yeah i suppose it's how it has to be, it's just hard giving up when you know there's a slim chance. I want us both to be happy together or not, but staying friends just sounds painful right now even though she's my best friend aswell. Even talking to her is different,it feels like talking to a stranger that doesn't wanna open up or talk like we used to anymore, but i guess that's normal considering it's a break up.
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