becca564 Posted June 15, 2018 Posted June 15, 2018 Hi all, I am new here. I decided to join after reading some really helpful advice on other threads. I have a few good close friends who I usually would talk to but to be honest, I just want some impartial advice. In March I decided to join Tinder. Whilst I talked to my fair share of weirdos, I met a nice guy that I really connected with. Before we met, we discussed that we were looking to meet someone for a potential relationship and see where it goes. Since then we have seen each other 1 or 2 times every week and spoken every day. He has just returned from a 2 week holiday when he texted me every day whilst he was away (and I was totally surprised by as I wasn't expecting him to maintain contact). Whilst he was away, I realised how much I liked him and I was really looking forward to him coming home. He asked me to meet him the day he returned and he looked genuinely pleased to see me and we had a lovely evening. Every time we are together, we have a nice time and I have no doubts that he is interested in me. He is usually the first to message me and make the plans to meet as he works long hours so we usually work around his schedule and when we are together, he is very caring and affectionate and asks if I missed him etc. The problem is when we aren't together, he can seem like he is blowing hot and cold. 2 days ago, I decided to take the plunge and ask him if we were dating and he actually was interested in me or if I was just someone to pass the time with. He was surprised that I asked and a little annoyed and said of course he liked me. He confirmed he wasn't seeing anyone else. He also added that he has serious trust issues stemming from past relationship and finds it hard to let people get close but reassured me that he wanted to continue seeing me and enjoyed our time together. I felt good as I realise it is only 3 months in and I wasn't looking for a massive declaration, just confirmation that I wasn't wasting my time on someone as I am not seeing or talking to any other men and stopped using Tinder. Now today, I had a niggling feeling and (probably totally stupidly) went onto Tinder to check if he had used it. The miles away had changed from what I knew it was before. I then checked it again a few hours later and it has changed again which means he has been active on it. He has also updated his photos within the last few weeks to a photo that I actually took! Could he genuinely like me and still be looking on Tinder? I don't like that he is still using it but I don't want to appear to be some psycho by telling him he needs to stop using it. On the other hand, I don't want to be taken for a fool. I don't believe he is actually going on dates but it would appear it is at least talking, or trying to talk, to other girls. Has anyone been in a similar situation?
Gaeta Posted June 15, 2018 Posted June 15, 2018 Oh yes I have been in similar situations and that is from there I changed my way of dating. From there I gave a man 5 dates to make up his mind about dating me exclusively and deleting his profile. If after those 5 dates or 1,5 month I'd see him online I'd just move on. I am sure he likes you, the thing is he doesn't like-like you in that way. For a man to stop being online he needs the wow effect when he meet a woman and he needs to be taken by fear he could lose her if he doesn't play his cards right so you'll never see him do something fishy like be online and changing his picture to attract more people. His behavior would be a complete turn off to me. I don't care if he met women or not, the only fact he's on a dating app with new pictures to attract attention and get an ego boost would tell me this is NOT the man I was waiting for. > How long has he been single? When a man tells you he's been hurt therefore has trust issue, you don't date him. You let him go figure himself out and move on. 3
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 15, 2018 Posted June 15, 2018 Now today, I had a niggling feeling and (probably totally stupidly) went onto Tinder to check if he had used it. The miles away had changed from what I knew it was before. I then checked it again a few hours later and it has changed again which means he has been active on it. He has also updated his photos within the last few weeks to a photo that I actually took! :eek::eek: That's very distasteful! I don't know anything about Tinder so I don't understand the "miles" thing, but I do know that uploading new pics is definitely an indication it is still being used to meet women. This is not LinkedIn after all. 3 months in is plenty of time to be ceasing the use of all dating apps and declaring exclusivity, in my opinion. MORE than enough time.
Andy_K Posted June 15, 2018 Posted June 15, 2018 What Gaeta said. If a guy is really into you, he'll be perfectly happy to delete all his online dating apps because he won't be looking to 'upgrade', and he'll want to make sure you feel the same way. 3 months is more than long enough for this to happen. So ask him if he'd be happy for the two of you to delete both your profiles. This isn't psycho at this stage, it's having self respect. You're not going to accuse him of anything or lose your temper, you're just wanting to establish that you're both on the same page. It's also important to emphasise something like this as a step that you're both taking, not just something you're asking him to do. This shows him where your head is at, just in case his Tinder usage is triggered by insecurity that he might lose you (and therefore needs a backup) or something similar. If he's on the same page and is fine with it, great! If not, you may need to reconsider what sort of a future this may have. 1
lurker74 Posted June 15, 2018 Posted June 15, 2018 I will say that I sometimes have looked at Tinder even when I wasn't interested in matching or meeting anyone. But it's not healthy and it's something I've stopped. Personally, if you are seeing each other 1 or 2 times a week, I'd probably not worry too much. Yes, someone could monkey branch you but then again it may be nothing. So if you are getting along that well and he reaches out that much, I'd be careful before deciding to move on. Look at Gaeta's comment, for instance. First, I respect the hell out of her so this is not a dig, but the comment of do ____ or I'm moving on shows the disposability of human beings in today's dating world ON BOTH SIDES. Fifty years ago, no one would dismiss someone for a small infraction (frankly, back then, we were TOO accepting) but a man that you like that is making substantial efforts to see you and communicate and connect with you is not something you can necessarily expect every time. Go read other posts where every other woman is complaining about how he doesn't text or call or make plans. Don't be blind or willfully naive but maybe be a bit of the benefit of the doubt is warranted here. As for the Tinder activity, if he checked yours, your miles would now be updated. I agree that updating the pictures is weird and something I would probably ask about...although I would likely do so in a non-accusatory tone. 1
Gaeta Posted June 15, 2018 Posted June 15, 2018 Look at Gaeta's comment, for instance. First, I respect the hell out of her so this is not a dig, Thank you I am flattered but the comment of do ____ or I'm moving on shows the disposability of human beings in today's dating world ON BOTH SIDES. But how do you say in English? When in Rome do as Romans ? This is Tinder. The most popular pick-up apps out there at the moment. If you don't want that app to eat you alive you have to watch your back and give yourself a set of personal rules you will obey by. In the world of dating we know the big general rule and it's that dating should 'escalate' with time. I don't see this relationship escalating. After 3 months there was no exclusivity established and they are in a stagnant routine of 2 dates a week. The guy also told OP he has trust issues which is a huge flag to me and leads me to believe he's a commitment phobe and he is not ready to get off the dating market. Question for OP: * How long he's been single? * What is your routine? Do you spend your Saturday evening together? do you have sleepovers? Have you met a couple of friends? 2
Author becca564 Posted June 15, 2018 Author Posted June 15, 2018 Thank you all so much for your honest and detailed responses. I really appreciate it. Lurker74 - I completely agree with you that usually it is the situation that girls are wondering why he hasn't contacted them and I think that's why I am so confused because I can guarantee I will hear from him at some point during the day which I appreciate. Andy and Gaeta - you both have said what I suspect. He likes me but isn't crazy about me. I think a major part of the problem is that I make myself too available. Given his work schedule, I basically jump when he says he's available because I know it could be another week until I see him again and I know the certainty of someone always being available is a turn off. The few times that I haven't been available, I have noticed he puts in more effort to make sure he sees me 1 or 2 days later so from today, I am not going to be as available. If seeing me as less available and the possibility of losing me isn't enough to change things, it is clear I need to move on. When I do agree to see him again I will mention the fact that I noticed he updated his photos recently in an open and non accusatory way and see how he reacts. Once again, I appreciate your responses and will let you know the outcome!
Gaeta Posted June 15, 2018 Posted June 15, 2018 Becca: Does this guy actually take you out on dates or you're always meeting in your homes?
Versacehottie Posted June 15, 2018 Posted June 15, 2018 i agree with both gaeta and lurker they make valid points. here's the thing: i think you need to keep an eye on it. Not everyone falls in love the same way & it's totally right that you would want someone to be crazy about you & dating at the pace you are dating it seems reasonable that he should know. I would take what he says with a grain of salt because likely he was just trying to appease you and coast while he still figures out what to do. Now that makes it seem like i'm saying to drop him. I'm not actually. that's where i agree with lurker--though i find adding a photo that YOU took of him to be extremely crass!! sensitivity chip def missing on that---anyway, i don't think it makes sense to be hair trigger & dump him. While I am saying to discount his words, you should look at his actions, which do say he is significantly interested (based on what you wrote here). I guess it does matter to answer the question that Gaeta asked about what type of dates are these? Here's the thing too: lots of girls have bfs & even good relationships because they weathered some minor infractions and didn't expect perfection from a guy. I would say the context in which you found him (tinder) says he leans towards casual or "friends first" as they say and takes a while to warm up. IMO, if you are meeting a guy on tinder, don't bother having a conversation to state your serious intentions up front & getting him to agree--actually i think that applies to every app/dating site. It won't matter & means virtually nothing. They will tell you what you want to hear to have an opportunity with you, meaning they are open enough to see where it goes & certainly aren't going to blow it by telling you what you DON'T want to hear. To be fair, that's what women do too. There is no 'contract' whereas we've spent a handful of dates together & both stated we want serious relationships that makes the other obligated--each person is in effect on a fact-finding, emotion-finding mission and there are NO guarantees. That shift in perspective will help you in your journey for sure. So I think you need to drop his priority and consider it more casual than it is. Since you agreed to exclusive, you should say something to him--we might need to help you work out what. That part is more than an infraction if he is breaking your trust with that. To be fair, i know a handful of guys who are endless swipers and it means nothing other than the ego boost of who is attracted to them (a bit of an addiction to that). On the other hand, it's a slippery slope and a bit dishonest (by omission), which would be an issue overall. You don't want someone with a dishonest character. As positive andecote for what is similar to what you are going through. 1) one of my close friends was dating a guy who she was crazy about & really she could & did have her choice of whoever prior to him & yet at the SIX month mark (her birthday party) she tried to get him to say he was serious/how serious about her and he was lackadaisical to say the least. His everyday treatment of her was very good and she was almost out of his league--you really wondered why is he hesitating?!?! Well, it really was more about who he was rather than anything she was or wasn't or the relationship itself. He is just a chill and a little reluctant person, not in a bad way. My friend almost broke up with him on the spot. They are married now & we laugh about that. So I do think you are not in the clearest of situations. No clear path to say what to do. You probably need more information. Sometimes the best way to address a sticky situation is to say what you want or where you are coming from rather than put him on the defense, i.e. rather than admit to snooping on his tinder, say that you are thinking of taking yours down & would he be up for doing the same. TBH, say something like you don't feel right talking to or getting messages from other guys anymore, something that would perhaps make him a little jealous and aware. If he doesn't agree, accept it and keep dating him and others. In time, the answer of whether he is worthy of you still dating him will reveal itself. Good luck
jjb117 Posted June 15, 2018 Posted June 15, 2018 Hi all, I am new here. I decided to join after reading some really helpful advice on other threads. I have a few good close friends who I usually would talk to but to be honest, I just want some impartial advice. In March I decided to join Tinder. Whilst I talked to my fair share of weirdos, I met a nice guy that I really connected with. Before we met, we discussed that we were looking to meet someone for a potential relationship and see where it goes. Since then we have seen each other 1 or 2 times every week and spoken every day. He has just returned from a 2 week holiday when he texted me every day whilst he was away (and I was totally surprised by as I wasn't expecting him to maintain contact). Whilst he was away, I realised how much I liked him and I was really looking forward to him coming home. He asked me to meet him the day he returned and he looked genuinely pleased to see me and we had a lovely evening. Every time we are together, we have a nice time and I have no doubts that he is interested in me. He is usually the first to message me and make the plans to meet as he works long hours so we usually work around his schedule and when we are together, he is very caring and affectionate and asks if I missed him etc. The problem is when we aren't together, he can seem like he is blowing hot and cold. 2 days ago, I decided to take the plunge and ask him if we were dating and he actually was interested in me or if I was just someone to pass the time with. He was surprised that I asked and a little annoyed and said of course he liked me. He confirmed he wasn't seeing anyone else. He also added that he has serious trust issues stemming from past relationship and finds it hard to let people get close but reassured me that he wanted to continue seeing me and enjoyed our time together. I felt good as I realise it is only 3 months in and I wasn't looking for a massive declaration, just confirmation that I wasn't wasting my time on someone as I am not seeing or talking to any other men and stopped using Tinder. Now today, I had a niggling feeling and (probably totally stupidly) went onto Tinder to check if he had used it. The miles away had changed from what I knew it was before. I then checked it again a few hours later and it has changed again which means he has been active on it. He has also updated his photos within the last few weeks to a photo that I actually took! Could he genuinely like me and still be looking on Tinder? I don't like that he is still using it but I don't want to appear to be some psycho by telling him he needs to stop using it. On the other hand, I don't want to be taken for a fool. I don't believe he is actually going on dates but it would appear it is at least talking, or trying to talk, to other girls. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Most guys react the same way when they like a girl - especially one that they want to date. They talk to her, date her, get to know her - all that jazz. For the first couple of weeks we doubt ourselves - Scared of being tied down but also scared of losing her. For most guys, they go on autopilot - they get the perks of dating, having someone there, feeling wanted - yet the available option to DIP whenever. But honestly after about a month or two (especially younger guys) our minds are set. We no longer are hot and cold. We no longer keep you guessing. YOU KNOW we like you. YOU KNOW we want to hang out with you. And YOU KNOW where we stand. Due to some relationship experts, a lot of guys now wait for the DTR talk without wanting to look needy. But really, if a guy really likes you, he's going to lock you down before you even get second thoughts. 3 Months of this bs? No no no, I know it's fun. I know you have invested SO MUCH TIME in this, but if he's still using tinder then come on now. What you should do is leave - move on. If he wants to keep playing games then screw him. You don't need this - you really don't. The longer you are with him, the more it will hurt. We all have been here before. We just don't want you to go through what we went through. 2
Gaeta Posted June 15, 2018 Posted June 15, 2018 Has anyone been in a similar situation? I had dated this guy for 3 months. I was playing it cool like you're doing and he had said he was not interested in dating others. Then I checked on the dating site where we met and I saw him there with a new picture. I had deleted my profile a while back but could check off line. I didn't want to be fed BS so I created a fake profile and messaged him. Within a few minutes he was inviting my fake profile to meet. That gave me all the answers I needed to know. At the end of his conversation with my fake profile he asked to speak on the phone. I called him and told him to F OFF. Like I said, from there I stopped being 'cool'. I gave myself guidelines and moved on quickly. Sure I may have passed a few good guys but I know I avoided mostly players and time wasters. I knew when I'd meet the right guy it would unfold easily with no doubts in mind and that is exactly what happened eventually.
Author becca564 Posted June 15, 2018 Author Posted June 15, 2018 Thanks again guys. To answer Gaeta's question, our dates are 90% going out for meals or going places. Neither of us live alone so it is only the pdd occasion we can go to each other's places so it's not even as if he's just looking for one thing. We have both met a few of each other's friends and he has met my mum and I have met his dad. In a previous longterm relationship I played it cool thinking putting my foot down would be unreasonable and it ultimately was a disaster so I am conscious of not allowing the same patterns to unfold. Essentially I think you are all right. It's not ok and I can't allow it to continue. I will bring the topic up somehow and let him know that I no longer think either of us should feel the need to use it but if he wishes to continue, I won't be sticking around and see what happens.
Author becca564 Posted June 15, 2018 Author Posted June 15, 2018 As positive andecote for what is similar to what you are going through. 1) one of my close friends was dating a guy who she was crazy about & really she could & did have her choice of whoever prior to him & yet at the SIX month mark (her birthday party) she tried to get him to say he was serious/how serious about her and he was lackadaisical to say the least. His everyday treatment of her was very good and she was almost out of his league--you really wondered why is he hesitating?!?! Well, it really was more about who he was rather than anything she was or wasn't or the relationship itself. He is just a chill and a little reluctant person, not in a bad way. My friend almost broke up with him on the spot. They are married now & we laugh about that. Thanks for sharing this story with me. Without seeming like I am making excuses for him, he is incredibly chilled and laid back about everything in his life. He is also an incredibly deep person so you can never really guess how he is feeling about something. He has shared with me some of his feelings. For example, he is currently building a house which is draining his finances and he told me that it makes him feel bad that he can't take me to more or better places. I am totally fine with the places we go to so it isn't as if I am seeking more but perhaps this is another reason of his reluctant to progress this at this stage. 1
Versacehottie Posted June 15, 2018 Posted June 15, 2018 Thanks for sharing this story with me. Without seeming like I am making excuses for him, he is incredibly chilled and laid back about everything in his life. He is also an incredibly deep person so you can never really guess how he is feeling about something. He has shared with me some of his feelings. For example, he is currently building a house which is draining his finances and he told me that it makes him feel bad that he can't take me to more or better places. I am totally fine with the places we go to so it isn't as if I am seeking more but perhaps this is another reason of his reluctant to progress this at this stage. Yeah, cautious about giving you too much hope (mainly because I don't know how it will turn out with him and the people on the thread will give me grief for my positive polly anecdotes). The thing I WOULD absolutely recommend doing is breaking it down into the now & not looking into the future. In other words, stay vigilant for your happiness and control over your dating situation, what "is ok" with you. Today, not compromising for what you think it will get you in long run. Maybe he is not worthy of a long run with you. If you stay in the now, you can figure that out easier, because you will be evaluating his current actions, like are or are they not ok with me (not due to level of investment or where you think it might end up, that makes the decision making much more complicated and cloudy). Plus you need to practice communicating effectively with THIS guy now. Try to simplify--when i mention and as I observe girls that have loving bfs that certainly were guilty of an infraction or two toward the beginning, I think one thing that they do differently than you might is just simply state their needs and wants. Not go all the way toward thinking "if he doesn't do this, i'll end it" because that's playing the end game & you make the stakes much higher which causes you to be afraid or overly cautious or dramatic about every day basics, which is as simple as speaking up and fostering open communication. So of course if you state your desire to get off the app & him too, of course you would be considering stopping dating him depending on his answer. Most of the time, I am a huge believer in, that if you don't think of the negative result and what you will need to do IF that negative thing happens, your wording and demeanor AND RESULT will be more in line with the positive. Like the outcome you are afraid of won't be as likely to happen if your mind is not already there. There are studies coming out where this is a true thing. Which is why it is essential to scale back all the forecasting and anxious worrying and planning and just state what you want. Then see his response and then you can take it from there. One thing you don't need to worry about is he is in no rush to end things with you & i doubt that will change, so you really have more power than you think. You can state what you want & even if he gives you the answer that he is not ready to get off of there, you don't need to take immediate action. you can say "i need to think about that" and of course break up with him a few days later. You don't need to have a knee jerk reaction, Thus giving him the time and space to really contemplate that--and you can still pull the plug at any time. Some guys just see getting into a relationship as a loss of freedom & want it to be their choice, if they feel any pressure from you, they will not want to do it just as a matter of rebeling--not as a reflection of how they feel about you. So sometimes they need to marinate on the idea a bit. No better way about that then to let him know you are enjoying yourself with him so much that you want to remove tinder and then be indifferent-ish toward him if he is not on the same page. You'd have a different but valuable power at the point if you accept it under YOUR terms, like demote him (sorry guys) I think going with the flow gets a very bad rap here on these forums and that most of the advice (because it is needed as such & wouldn't be advice if it didn't have a definitive perspective & definitive more rigid vibe) strongly recommends a black & white course of action. I think a lot of people do "go with the flow" wrong & that's why it hasn't worked for you in the past. Go with the flow doesn't mean you do everything nice and perfect and still act like a gf in waiting. It means you step back to the level he is giving you, as long as it suits you & in the way it suits you and only that. You consciously need to be evaluating whether it works for you or not--not putting in effort hoping & assuming it will pay off, like still focused on an end goal. If an end goal is most important for you, than you will realize staying involved with someone who you have a great time with but can't give you reasonable promise that you are heading that direction it will lose it's appeal. It's not easy of course, except for people who are truly naturally like this but it does work though you have to be on top of it. It's a fairytale that guys who like us will do everything our way and in our timeframe and never upset us. To keep cycling through guys to find one that does everything perfectly and then they usually bore us to death because they are acting doormat-y. I definitely know lots of go with the flow success stories. And lots of FAUX go with the flow stories that fail. One thing you need to do is determine if YOU are the type who can go with the flow--some people just aren't. This will limit what guys will work in your realm though--whereas if you are go with the flow, you will probably have more choices of guys because the style itself is less limiting. And to be fair, that works both ways: guys with rigid styles are going to be more limited in their choices of women because the dating style itself drives people away. Idk, think of it like this, the goal is to work to be on the same page with your guy & decide if it's reasonable. Both parties should be doing this, i.e. not one-sided, not pandering. Working to understand and appreciate the other person's pov. and yes your guy could be preoccupied with his house, very chill, have a personal timeline in mind that has little to do with you (even though you are by default involved now). Don't compromise your life goals for it but if it's reasonable & he's showing you good, see if it's worth continuing. Actually, this could work very well in your favor--if he's not ready for whatever reason, you can step back and date others as well as keep him around. If someone is not sure about you, how can you be sure about him? lol, good luck 1
Author becca564 Posted June 19, 2018 Author Posted June 19, 2018 Thank you Versacehottie for your very detailed response. It is very valid and I can completely relate to everything you said and it was just what I needed to hear right now! UPDATE - I had the conversation with him 6 days ago. I done it in a casual enough way so there was no pressure. The result was he basically told me what I wanted to hear which was great. The following day, he acted very strange which lead me to ask him that night if everything was ok and I asked in a jokey way if my conversation the night before had made him nervous. He said no, followed by a bit of nervous laughter Friday then comes and for the one of the first times in 3 months, he never contacted me. He finally texts Saturday around midday saying he had been very busy at work. I kept the conversation normal and didn't make any remarks about him not being in contact. He then tells me he will contact me when he gets home on Saturday night. He doesn't. Of course by this stage, my anxiety is through the roof and I am thinking he isn't interested, I have scared him off or he is with another girl. On Sunday, around midday he contacts me saying he went home and fell asleep very early and had only woken up. I was quite short with him giving him vague responses. I then asked if we were meeting up (like we had discussed) and he said he couldn't as he had to work and he only found out. Now I am not proud of myself but in the height of my emotions, I texted him saying "that is fine, I can take a hint". He then called me asking what I meant. I explained that since our conversation, he wasn't acting like someone who was interested and if that was the case, just be honest as I would rather move on than waste my time. Once again, he gives reasonable answers and the conversation ended that I would possibly see him tomorrow (Monday) but it would be dependent on his work (which I am fully understanding of). He then doesn't contact me for the rest of Sunday and finally gets in touch around 9pm on Monday evening just checking in. He didn't mention the fact that we had suggested meeting so I didn't either and he said he was only on his way home from work. I consciously decided I didn't want to keep on his back and instead expressed concern and said it was awful his working hours were so long and I hoped he had a good rest when he finally got home. This was met with a response of "well this is my job so what can I do and I don't want to hear that again". That was last night and the last time I heard from him so far. I should point out that he is foreign so his words can be quite direct sometimes without meaning to be. Since the conversation, despite giving me answers I wanted, he has backed away off and although he makes the first move to contact me, I am not sure why because his actions are showing he is not interested one little bit. It has now been 8 days since I last seen him also and I feel like we are more distant than ever. I know the right thing is for me to forget about him and move on and if he begins to make an effort then I would still consider it but until then I should just forget him but it is so difficult when I was genuinely enjoying our time together.
smackie9 Posted June 19, 2018 Posted June 19, 2018 This what I always say....if it doesn't feel right, it's not. Your gut was telling you something right at the beginning. Actions speak more of the truth than what comes out of their mouth. Oh and when you hear "I have trust issues" run for the frickin hills!
Author becca564 Posted July 16, 2018 Author Posted July 16, 2018 Hi All, I just wanted to check back in and update you on what has been happening. Following my original post, I had a couple of serious conversations with this guy addressing my concerns. He gave me what appeared to be open and honest answers. I accepted his reasoning mostly but backed off from him for approximately 2 weeks. I didn't initiate any contact with him or suggest meeting him etc. This actually made him put more effort in and he initiated all contact regularly. He has stopped using the dating app, although his profile has not been deleted but I believe he hasn't been using it since we discussed it and I am making a conscious effort to trust him and not check. This weekend, he planned a nice trip for us and we had a lovely time together. He was affectionate, caring and very sweet (without being over the top ). I have realised a relationship takes time to grow. I am certainly not ready to get married or move in with someone. The one thing I want is commitment and knowing I am not just an option. I have come to realise him and I are quite similar in our personalities and our goals and although I am more of an open book than he is, I understand where he is coming from and it takes time before we give 100% of ourselves. I believe we are definitely on our way there if things progress as they have been. Although I hate when people set time limits on relationships, I have decided to place my own expectations of more progression and assurance of his feelings by October. It will be 6 to 7 months by that stage since we started dating and in September we both have a lot of significant things happening so I believe once they are complete, we can focus on what is happening with us.
Gaeta Posted July 16, 2018 Posted July 16, 2018 He has stopped using the dating app, although his profile has not been deleted but I believe he hasn't been using it since we discussed it and I am making a conscious effort to trust him and not check. I don't get this. You've been dating 3 + months, he is still online but you will voluntarily ignore that important fact and give your trust a man that has done no *action* to prove he is only dating you. Listen, you didn't ask for a marriage or a commitment, or to put a label on your relationship, you just want him OFF the darn dating app! If THAT scares him off than he's not ready for dating and you'll be the big loser down the road. If you want to keep on dating him AT LEAST keep your eyes open!! don't wait for one of your girlfriend to tell you your new bo has changed his profile pictures again! For all you know he was checking that app while on a weekend with you. .
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