hgriffin17 Posted June 14, 2018 Posted June 14, 2018 Hey guys, I got another question for ya'll Basically how wouldbyou handle dating someone who goes hot and cold on you? To give you some background information, I've been talking to this girl from Tinder for the last 2 and a half months. We matched while I was home - so the first month and a half we spoke periodically. Then once I arrived home, we've gone on 4 dates so far, 5th one coming up on Monday. What confuses me is that once our date is finished, she will text me, snapchat me, and we'll essentially talk a lot for the next couple of days. But then, BAM, she goes ice cold. Little to no communication. Instead of the relationship progressing, we just keep going in this cycle. And it's irritating. I think it's worth noting she came out of a 2 year relationship 4 months ago, so maybe that's why she's taking things slow but once you start making excuses, you start bull****ting yourself. What are your guy's thoughts?
Gaeta Posted June 14, 2018 Posted June 14, 2018 I think it's worth noting she came out of a 2 year relationship 4 months ago, Seriously you have no clue why she is blowing hot and cold? Do not date people freshly out of relationships, they have no clue what they want. How I deal with people going hot and cold? I didn't. I drop them. They went cold once, twice and I moved on to someone else.
Zahara Posted June 14, 2018 Posted June 14, 2018 I had a boundary. No hot and cold. That is usually a sign of emotional unavailability. Red flag - Don't date people that are still fresh out of a break-up. If you want to date and you want a relationship, pursue someone that is coming to the table with a full deck of cards.
mortensorchid Posted June 14, 2018 Posted June 14, 2018 Why does she go hot and cold? Simple answers: 1) You met her on OLD. 2) You met her on Tinder. Facts. 1
Grey40 Posted June 15, 2018 Posted June 15, 2018 Could be that she still has feelings for the ex and isn’t ready for something else so soon. But don’t talk to her so much in between dates, it’s making it seem like it’s moving super fast that way and it’s probably making her think twice. Don’t text her at all, when she reaches out just respond and set up another date. If she’s blowing up your phone, just try and keep it short—“hey can’t wait to see you in person, have a lot of busy work to get done right now, tell me about everything on Friday when we meet in person ” something along those lines. Once again though, if a girl is blowing up your phone nonstop daily every day within the first 1-4 dates, she’s super needy and will be annoying to date because you’ll never be able to handle the level of attention she wants.
coolheadal Posted June 15, 2018 Posted June 15, 2018 Hey guys, I got another question for ya'll Basically how wouldbyou handle dating someone who goes hot and cold on you? To give you some background information, I've been talking to this girl from Tinder for the last 2 and a half months. We matched while I was home - so the first month and a half we spoke periodically. Then once I arrived home, we've gone on 4 dates so far, 5th one coming up on Monday. What confuses me is that once our date is finished, she will text me, snapchat me, and we'll essentially talk a lot for the next couple of days. But then, BAM, she goes ice cold. Little to no communication. Instead of the relationship progressing, we just keep going in this cycle. And it's irritating. I think it's worth noting she came out of a 2 year relationship 4 months ago, so maybe that's why she's taking things slow but once you start making excuses, you start bull****ting yourself. What are your guy's thoughts? She's Toxic, well this is expected if she had bad experiences from her family while growing up, makes it worst if the guy she's dated currently or in the past made her like she is HOT then COLD then reverse. You don't seem the type to deal with such a person. We men tend to over look these type of women because our hearts are not there to tell them no. We give them all a chance to see where the relationship or dating will go. Sometimes it goes to the sewer. Toxic women will be no better than those who do not act like this. I've been with enough toxic women to know better. How to tell if they are or not toxic well you see how this one is acting already. Could be out burst of anger for silly things. Trigger response can lead into words that I care not say here. Like I said you want her you have to deal with her toxic Verbiage!!!
Logo Posted June 15, 2018 Posted June 15, 2018 (edited) She's using your relationship for comfort and enjoying the friends-with-benefits perk. If you stay in this relationship longer, she's going to end up emotionally hurting you. Run! It's not going to get better. She's not going to become more emotionally invested, to the contrary. And finally, she's wasting your time and emotional energy. She's using you. Please walk away from her. Unfortunately, I'm writing this from experience. Learn from others; don't learn the hard way. Edited June 15, 2018 by Logo
5x5 Posted June 15, 2018 Posted June 15, 2018 Hey guys, I got another question for ya'll Basically how wouldbyou handle dating someone who goes hot and cold on you? I would dump them immediately. I don't know about you, but I find settling for less gets me less. So to avoid that sort of crap, regardless of their reasons I don't humour such nonsense at all.
Logo Posted June 15, 2018 Posted June 15, 2018 Have you had sex with her yet? I am thinking you have not. You want her to stop going from hot to cold and just staying hot? Have sex with her. Good sex. Make that girl remember your name. Stop wasting your time with movie and dinner dates and get her back to your place. If she won't go for it, stop putting up with her. Tell her you have enough friends. That could be the problem, actually. No sex by the 4th date is going to leave her frustrated. For some reason I assumed they've already had sex.
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