Is he a bad conversationalist or not interested?

[sarmarch]

Just found and joined this website, hi!

 

We were talking in DMs originally (lol), and he was the one who messaged me first and got us talking. First impression was looking good because I responded to his opening line with something sort of witty/snarky that not everyone picks up on or responds well to, and he did both (but also didn't come up with much to further it). Our last conversation via DM died down because both of us were responding sporadically so there wasn't really any flow to it, and I decided to just drop it. The next day, he sent me his number and told me to text him - this was the same day he left the country for a trip so he probably knew he wouldn't have a lot of internet access - so I texted him, but he's barely apart of the conversations.

 

The issue isn't that he takes days to respond, he actually tends to respond within a few minutes and apologizes when he takes "too long". The issue is that he doesn't really say anything. I've gotten to know him by asking questions about his life based on what he tells me he's up to, but he never asks about me, even when it's so easy. (i.e. I told him I'd brb because I was going to take a final, and he just said "Ok". Didn't ask where I go to school, what class the final was for, what I'm studying, not even a "good luck".)

 

I'm not a great conversationalist by any means, but I make the effort and stick to the rule that if you don't know what to say you should ask about the other person.

 

So, is this disinterest? Shyness? Just a bad texter? He's super good looking, so maybe he's used to girls being inherently impressed by him and not requiring any effort?

 

Some components of this whole thing point to him being interested in me: Him initiating the our meeting, sending me his number before leaving the country so we could still talk, and always responding in a timely manner.

But on the other hand, he doesn't ask about me or really do anything to keep the conversations going once they've begun. In a weird way we do get along, but I'm left feeling like I'm just annoying him.

 

And to clarify, I got out of a relationship fairly recently (~3 months ago) and am definitely not looking for anything serious. I followed him because he's attractive, and he followed me back the next day and liked a photo of myself I posted a few months ago, and then DM'd me the next day. I thought we would probably end up being friends at the very least, but realistically hooking up occasionally.

 

Edited to add: He's 19 and I'm 20. We currently live across the country from one another, in the cities where the other is from. He's coming back to his hometown, where I live, in about a month for the rest of summer, and I'm moving back to where I'm from, where he lives, around the end of the year.

Edited June 14, 2018 by sarmarch
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[Marley Rizzla]

I don't know what to make of this. He certainly has demonstarted some interest, so I can't say for sure that he's not interested.

 

Maybe he finds texting tedious, maybe he's more of a face-to-face type of person. Or maybe he's just looking to stroke his ego without having the intention of pursuing something more with you. Tread carefully and adjust your expectations accordingly.

And go with the flow, I guess! =)

[guest569]

At 19 he may just be a poor conversationalist or he might not like messaging. I would stop directing the conversation and stop initiating contact and see how he goes. If nothing then he isn’t interested. Heck, I would lose interest pretty quickly talking to a brick wall, even if it is just for a hookup. If he doesn’t even ask you anything then I doubt he is very attentive in bed.