Is this genuine anger or hate?

[natashalove]

Why do you care what this guy thinks? That's what we're asking.

 

If I have to go up to someone and say, "look, I'm not ignoring you," then there's a problem. I wouldn't tell someone "I'm not ignoring you."

 

If they think I'm ignoring them when I'm not, that's THEIR problem. I can't solve that ...

 

Again, this sounds like the way two fourth graders talk.

"I hate you." "No, I hate you more."

 

"I'm not ignoring you." "I never said you were ignoring me."

 

Clearly this is not someone worth the effort of your worry.

 

No sorry thats not how it works.

 

Just because THEY think something, I cant leave them like that. I need to clear that I was never ignoring him.

From his constant behaviour I assumed he didnt want to talk to me so I went to clarify that I was not ignoring him if he thinks. Confusion and misunderstanding has caused this. Simple. And I havent even told him half of the things

[Versacehottie]

Its not needy? Its simply asking whats going on? Theres no time for giving clean slate as he wouldnt say anything. Unless I say it.

If someone ignores you , you just ask them whats wrong. I did it politely. He just kept brushing it as he was clearly pissed.

 

In the context as I understand it, he has been ignoring you previous to this conversation. Are you his gf? What are your expectations of each other? Agree that your communication style, including here, is not productive--perhaps english isn't your first language or you are very young (agree it sounds like two fourth graders), not traditionally educated?

 

So if you come back to talking to someone after a period of not talking to them, sure you "can" ask what is wrong showing care, concern, a willingness to make it right if you've done anything wrong/been misunderstood. Not the best to do what you did, which was repeat effectively, "are you ignoring me" which is about your needs, i.e. needy, not concerned, willing to build a bridge, or repair the relationship. And when he assured you there was no issue, you did not drop it. That's needy and naggy, as perceived by most. and it wears thin quickly--especially with a guy with the propensity to ignore you already. He doesn't seem that interested. And you can only control your part/learn the lesson.

 

The lesson here is to move on from guys that are not that interested. Don't try to resurrect relationships where you were treated badly. Work on your communication style so it represents someone who is not desperate, up for bad treatment but rather someone who is worth being with (because you are assured, self-sufficient, and WILL move on if not treated well); and don't try to nag someone into changing their behavior--he is showing you who he is, and you are showing him what the relationship would be like IF he ever decided to pay you more attention. If you want someone to pay you more attention genuinely and build upon the good parts, what you did is not the way. Work on your side of communication & your self-esteem. It's not a foolproof solution, of course, but much better than how you approached it--which is almost destined to fail or put you in an unhealthy pattern with a non-worthy guy and waste your own time tearing your self confidence down. Overall your conversation with him was about YOU and looking for a way back in and reassurance in a funky manner. A tall order for a guy who has been ignoring you. He will tell you whatever to get you to back off.

Edited June 13, 2018 by Versacehottie

[basil67]

DO NOT open that conversation with an accusation that he's ignoring you. It was a no brainer that his response back to you would be defensive.

 

As my previous alternative opener was not to your liking, perhaps you could have tried "Hey, I feel it's been a bit awkward between us. I just wanted to check in and see how you're feeling". Again, no accusation and open channels for him to tell you how he's feeling.

Edited June 14, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[stillafool]

Lol. Pestering. How? Just by asking someone for a talk is pestering?

 

Like he seemed really annoyed. He was barely lukewarm.

[natashalove]

DO NOT open that conversation with an accusation that he's ignoring you. It was a no brainer that his response back to you would be defensive.

 

As my previous alternative opener was not to your liking, perhaps you could have tried "Hey, I feel it's been a bit awkward between us. I just wanted to check in and see how you're feeling". Again, no accusation and open channels for him to tell you how he's feeling.

 

I simply said I felt he didnt want to talk to me. Which was true. The way he was acting looked like that so I stopped approaching him. Then he pulled a 360 and started greeting me. I wasnt able to go beyond greeting him and he was annoyed which was obvious from today.

 

And he wasnt defensive tbh. I wasnt able to go to him and I knew he would feel that way.

And even if I used your alternate line, the conversation would GO BACK TO THE SAME PLACE. The ignoring issue.

Edited June 14, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[natashalove]

Like he seemed really annoyed. He was barely lukewarm.

 

Yes he was. I sensed it last week itself. He was greeting me and I wasnt going beyond answering his question as I was unsure if he wanted to talk to me or not.

He stopped greeting me after that and was not approaching me like before and I knew my silence sent a wrong message.

So it was no surprise he was acting rude. Though I have told him I still have something to say and he did say hes here a lot so he would like to hear it.

[stillafool]

I hope whatever it is you have to say is not about him ignoring you. It sounds a bit boring and you certainly don't want to bore him.

[natashalove]

I hope whatever it is you have to say is not about him ignoring you. It sounds a bit boring and you certainly don't want to bore him.

 

I want to tell him I liked him and I still do. Thats why I mentioned the last year question incident because thats what started this whole ignoring thing.

[BaileyB]

I want to tell him I liked him and I still do. Thats why I mentioned the last year question incident because thats what started this whole ignoring thing.

 

He was quite clear that you are an aquaintance. It doesn’t sound like he returns your interest.

[coolheadal]

I want to tell him I liked him and I still do. Thats why I mentioned the last year question incident because thats what started this whole ignoring thing.

 

You want more and your not going to get it not from this guy any time fast.

[natashalove]

He was quite clear that you are an aquaintance. It doesn’t sound like he returns your interest.

 

He has always shown interest until the last few weeks when things went wrong.

Him ignoring me lef me to stop approaching him and that made me change his behaviour towards me but I didnt talk to him and he finally lost his patience.

If we were truly acquaintances, he would never have this sort of hot and cold attitude as nobody cares about acquaintances.

Also, the annoyance right from the moment I approached him was telling that he was completely irritated with me.

[natashalove]

You want more and your not going to get it not from this guy any time fast.

 

I dont care. I just want it off my chest thats it. Or I will regret that I never told him.

[preraph]

He doesn't care enough to want to indulge you in this "You're ignoring me" stuff. In his mind, he's thinking, I barely know this girl, why is she dogging me?

 

Move on.

[basil67]

I want to tell him I liked him and I still do.

 

Think long and hard before telling him you like him. Your ego is going to take a huge hit when he continues with his lack of interest in you.

 

Sometimes, we are better off choosing to preserve our dignity.

[BaileyB]

 

Sometimes, we are better off choosing to preserve our dignity.

 

Absolutely. He has been quite clear that he doesn’t have any interest in dating you. You should take his cues and respect his decision. Sadly, I think this experience has been more to you than it was for him. And, at this point he is probably wondering why this woman he considers to be an aquaintance is dogging on him... time to let it go.

[natashalove]

He doesn't care enough to want to indulge you in this "You're ignoring me" stuff. In his mind, he's thinking, I barely know this girl, why is she dogging me?

 

Move on.

 

Wrong again. I havent been dogging him. On the contrary I stopped talking to him. Thats how he changed his attitude from completely ignoring to even greeting.

 

I already wrote that

[natashalove]

Absolutely. He has been quite clear that he doesn’t have any interest in dating you. You should take his cues and respect his decision. Sadly, I think this experience has been more to you than it was for him. And, at this point he is probably wondering why this woman he considers to be an aquaintance is dogging on him... time to let it go.

 

I'm sorry but you dont know what he has been doing. I had already stopped talking to him. He started to reform the situation.

 

He would see me and come after me and would keep looking if I would talk. I wasnt talking as I thought he doesnt want to.

 

Its interesting that here I keep saying I stopped approaching him yet according to you, I'm dogging him. Lmao I ve spoken to him after Feb! I didnt even ask him for coffee yet he was saying I asked him for coffee. I just asked him if he was free

Edited June 14, 2018 by natashalove

[natashalove]

K

Think long and hard before telling him you like him. Your ego is going to take a huge hit when he continues with his lack of interest in you.

 

Sometimes, we are better off choosing to preserve our dignity.

 

I wasnt the one who would start looking at him when we both would be alone. I wasnt the one who if I didnt go and talkbto him, would get angry and ignore me completely.

I wasnt the one who would follow him and start humming tunes while looking at me.

I wasnt the one who would keep looking at me whenever we met.

And I wasnt the one who suddenly started being warm after he stopped talking to me.

And I wasnt the one who was pissed even before the conversation had started.

Edited June 14, 2018 by natashalove

[Versacehottie]

your thinking about this situation has gone a bit irrational. You are trying to decipher minor nuances and hold onto small things that happened as if they mean something significant. The only obvious thing here is that the overall gist is that he is either annoyed by you, indifferent toward you, i.e. he is not interested or bare minimum interest and whatever interest he had in the past has faded due to the drama you bring to a barely anything relationship--ie he doesn't want to progress anything. Sorry i don't think this will turn out how you would like it to.

[natashalove]

your thinking about this situation has gone a bit irrational. You are trying to decipher minor nuances and hold onto small things that happened as if they mean something significant. The only obvious thing here is that the overall gist is that he is either annoyed by you, indifferent toward you, i.e. he is not interested or bare minimum interest and whatever interest he had in the past has faded due to the drama you bring to a barely anything relationship--ie he doesn't want to progress anything. Sorry i don't think this will turn out how you would like it to.

 

Lol. I brought drama? Quit reaching. It has ALWAYS started from his side. When I stopped approaching him, he started being nice. I didnt ask him. I just stopped. You cant even understand this but you claim big things

 

I never started anything. We had mutual interest and I went and spoke to him. He asked me something and after my response he got annoyed and took off. Never spoke to me again.

Then came up to me while I was studying to talk to me.

 

Then he would always ignore me around people but talk 1 on 1. I got hurt by his ignoring and STOPPED approaching him.

Havent talked to him since Feb until NOW.

 

So stop trying to make stupid assumptions. And I dont care if he says no. I want to be at peace and I have nothing to lose so who cares

 

And of course hes annoyed. It was evident last week. He kept greeting me and asking me but I refused to talk further.

Edited June 14, 2018 by natashalove

[BaileyB]

I'm sorry but you dont know what he has been doing. I had already stopped talking to him. He started to reform the situation.

 

He would see me and come after me and would keep looking if I would talk. I wasnt talking as I thought he doesnt want to.

 

Its interesting that here I keep saying I stopped approaching him yet according to you, I'm dogging him. Lmao I ve spoken to him after Feb! I didnt even ask him for coffee yet he was saying I asked him for coffee. I just asked him if he was free

 

When I say that you are dogging him, I am merely suggesting that he was probably just hanging out, passing the time before you approached him to have this conversation. Your comments probably came out of left field and made him think "what the heck is she talking about...."

 

I defer to your better judgment, but it doesn't sound like your interest was returned. But, at least now you know.

[natashalove]

When I say that you are dogging him, I am merely suggesting that he was probably just hanging out, passing the time before you approached him to have this conversation. Your comments probably came out of left field and made him think "what the heck is she talking about...."

 

I defer to your better judgment, but it doesn't sound like your interest was returned. But, at least now you know.

 

That wasnt how it happened? I was outside talking to my friend. He was coming from the main building and he was drinking some thing and went to throw the cup in the trash and passed by me to get his bike.

 

He was unlocking his bike when I approached him. If I had not gone to him, he would be super pissed as he clearly told me I have been ignoring him while he completely cut off the fact that hes been greeting me since the last 3 weeks only after I stopped going to him.

 

I havent told him anything. I just wanted him to know I was not ignoring him. He knows that now. I also need to apologise because had I not said that sentence, we would have been together.

[Victoria]

Okay....closing this up, thread has run its course.