This girl is teasing me - isn't she?

[Whitetrash]

So I got to know this girl from town via Tinder. It all started this March.

Very rare, but she actually texted me first. 80% of the woman that I get a Tinder match with don't text back at all.

 

I was super hyped on that. We had a nice conversation. And soon we arranged a date.

Everything seemd fine up until this point.

 

Then I met her in person. God was I blown away by her presence. She was so much more attractive in real life than I had expected from seeing her photos. (Usually it is the other way around, right? )

 

So I thought: "Don't skrew this up man, this is a once in a lifetime chance'

We had a nice dinner at an Italian restaurant. And later went to a bar for a drink.

I, honest as I am, foolishly told here about almost all of my secrets. I thought she should be aware of who she is dealing with, to avoid later disappointments.

 

I asked her about the reason she is using Tinder. She said she wasn't looking for a relationship, since she just had a breakup not too long ago. I told here something similar. I was just looking for some nice company and maybe a loose relationship without any heavy commitments and compromises.

 

That evening felt really, really good. And I was very polite to her. Not trying to push her in some kinda corner or invite her home to me. We got seperated at the tram station. She just gave me a friendly hug and that was it.

 

Then it went kinda silent. We already had been chatting via Whatsapp to arrange that first date.

But after that date she got mad quiet. I felt incomfortable about that silence.

I asked if I could call her, to get some more insight on her feelings about me. She literally postponed every ****ing call-date for one week straight. But dumb as I am I couldn't give up on her.

 

So finally, she gave me a call on Thursday (while the first inital call was supposed to happen on Monday). You can't image the torture I have gone throug. I had nothing on my mind other than here, for a week straight. Waking up, thinking about her and having that feeling of being a ****ing stalker, it almost killed me.

 

We then had a decent phone call. She told me, that she'd been busy all week, hence the postponing. I couldn't really trust her words. Because in the end it was just a half an hour of talk time.

 

I then did my second stuped mistake and asked her out on a second date. Last resort kinda. On that day I got two free tickets for a music act on my town. Really randomly. Almost like a sign from god. So there was no other choice than to invite her on this. She luckily said yes and there we had our second date.

 

A week after the call, that I've been waiting for so long, she gave me a really hard text message. I've been waiting another week for any kind of response from her.

And the day she finally answered was actually my birthday (without her know about)!!!

 

She said, that she wouldn't yet be ready for any kind of relationship or dating in any wise. And kinda said goobye to me already.

 

Dumb as I was, I transported myself into the friendzone, by asking her if we could just be friends then. She said yes after a short while. So the concert date could still happen.

 

My world was kinda ok again. The day came closer. I didn't have the slightest clue of what being in the friendzone would be like.

 

We finally met again. This time we started at a restaurant again. Kinda warmup for the concert evening. She was, again, as mindblowing as on the first date.

I got to know her better. She told me somethings about here love life.

Kinda pissed me off, that she was rubing it in my face, that she was still using Tinder. Very teasing to me. Because I thought, she wasn't looking for relationships.

Then later that evening she even told me that she had an affair with one of her uni teacher back in the day (he must've been 10+ years older than her). Again very teasing.

 

The concert was lame (other than the music). She wouldn't have any interaction with me. Just a few funny faces that was it. No hugging, no smiling, no resting on my shoulder. I felt lame, so I didn't try to conquer her, once again.

 

Later at the bus home, I told her about my desperateness of wanting some physical attention. She gave me a warm hug. Again the date ended in the tram and not at anyones home.

 

So I cried a lot that night after the concert. I cried because I was deeply upset.

 

Then there came another hard time of her showing no interest at all. Every way of communicating with here as one-sided and coming from me.

 

She didn't show any interest in seeing me again. Although she claimed those two dates were some good evenings!

 

Easter Holidays almost killed me. The loneliness was at its peak. And she wouldn't want to met.

 

After the frustrating Easter Holidays I asked her about her emotions again. Pretty straightforward this time. I had seen her putting new photos on her Tinder. Since she would always comment on my new photos, in a very teasing manner once again, I though I could comment back on one of hers.

I ended up asking her what she was actually looking for. The answer:

'Nothing serios, no relationship, but someone to share physical contact here and there'

 

My mind was exploding. We were on the same ****ing wavelength in terms of desire and she wouldn't give me chance. I confronted her a little pissed. She answered: 'Well, just because we matched on tinder, doesn't mean I feel crazy about you instantly. However things can change, there is a constant flow' (so as to try saying, that there is a little hope left, between the two of us).

 

 

Guess what happend then...

(I am not proud at all, of the thing that I did in the following...)

 

I got in contact with another girl from a nearby town. Also via Tinder.

 

She was not too much of my type and quite younger than me. And she had cut her hair off, which was pretty much a bummer. Because she was so much more attractive with hair. Anyway I invited her to my house to cook some nice food and maybe watch a movie, without having any expectations at all.

 

When she arrived I was a bit staggered (in a negative way) - kinda the opposite of the other girls first appearance

 

But I went on with her and gave it a try. After a while the tension got lost a little.

What followed was the most satisfying moments I had in my whole life. She actually came lying on my breast when we were watching that movie and then she started stroking me. You get the rest ;-)

 

So I had my first sex after 1,5 years of not even touching a girl or receiving a single touch from any female person.

And all that without a drop of alcohol. (I am a straight edger).

 

Heaven didn't last long as I would meet the other girl again, that I still had a big crush on. The one-night-stand lady just wasn't my type - in terms of personality.

 

So I finally got my crush come to my crib. Funny enough, we did the same things, that I did with that ONS lady just days before

Cook and watch a movie. Again no expectations. Just trying to have a fun evening.

 

But no physical contact at all. I even now tried to lay my arm around her, but she wouldn't ****ing react. We watched a pretty scary horror movie, which usually implies a girl hugging someone out of scare (her statement, not mine). Yeah guess what, that also didn't happen.

However at the end, after the movie was over, I experienced her most evil teasing move that she put on me. She actually laid down on my breast and we had a little stroking going on. Nothing serious at all (no clothes taken off or something like that).

 

She also left kinda early and we went parted ways at the tram station again.

Few minute later I received one of her most positive messages via Whatsapp: 'Hey, I really enjoyed that evening, I really like being around you and with you!'

 

That was the tip of the ****ing teasing-iceberg.

Every since that day we never met again. And first and foremost she wouldn't voice any interest in meeting again. Which was a real bummer after such kind of compliment.

So in 6 weeks she wouldn't have a single day to meet? That's really ****ing weird if you ask me.

 

I mean if that isn't obvious teasing right there, then what the **** is it then? But I can't resist her you know!

 

Few days ago, I even deleted all of our chat history on Whatsapp. But then she wrote again all of a sudden.

 

To sum it all up. I will give her one last try. There might be a fourth date happening with her. If this takes place, I'll confront her with all my doubts about her honesty. I don't care if she thinks I am a needy little stalker. Because, you know what, I think, she wants me to feel like that. She knows exactly what is going on inside of me, and she is ****ing putting up a brave front right there.

 

 

What do you guys think about this girl?

Edited May 24, 2018 by Whitetrash

[jjb117]

I'm sorry but this girl has no interest in you whatsoever.

 

She has friendzoned you, hardcore yet you choose not to see it that way. She's enjoying the attention dude, that's it. She knows you want her badly, like BADLY and that makes her feel good. She has no intention of being with you, not even just a little bit.

 

And I feel like getting mad at her is out of pocket. She hasn't shown any interest, outside of friendship, and has told you already that she's still on tinder. As in telling you, bro i'm still dating - just not you.

 

I'm only voicing this out of anger because you keep trying to fight it. Just cut your losses man and move on. Can't say it's over if it never started.

[Andy_K]

So in 6 weeks she wouldn't have a single day to meet? That's really ****ing weird if you ask me.

 

She was dating all the other guys that she'd been talking to in Tinder who she was more interested in than you.

 

There might be a fourth date happening with her. If this takes place, I'll confront her with all my doubts about her honesty.

 

If you do that, you're a complete idiot.

 

The best case scenario here, if she contacted you out of the blue, is that her other dates haven't worked out, she's been treated badly, and wants to spend time with someone genuine. Perhaps she has tried to convince herself to feel differently this time around. Perhaps not. You might as well take the gamble since you've invested this much already.

 

Attractive girls often know other attractive girls, so if she still talks about her dates and you two being friends, why not ask if she can set you up? That's what a friend would do for you, right?

[GemmaUK]

For someone who said they want nothing serious you certainly don't come over that way.

 

I'm wondering whether you stated that because she did - just to appear (or try to appear) on the same page but the fact you asked that so soon anyway and were clearly blown away and had a lot more interest will be very obvious to her so she has attempted to stop you in your tracks. She doesn't know that you've cried a lot over all this and she would be shocked if she found out but I suspect you've given off a vibe of being much more keen on her than she is on you so she has friend zoned because she simply doesn't feel the same about you.

 

Intimacy is only going to make you feel a stronger bond and she knows that.

She has told you you're the one for her and that she doesn't want anything serious. You should believe her. It's not going to happen, nothing sexual is going to happen.

 

You should move on.

[Saracena]

Actually your post reeks of desperation which I'm sure is also very obvious to her as well! While this can be very off-putting, she's still enjoying the attention, though.

 

She's made it more than clear she's not interested and I doubt very much she'll ever change her mind, so I'd give this one a miss if I were you. Sorry.

[smackie9]

Maybe if you were honest with her, she might be honest with you. You told her you could do a "loose relationship" well maybe she didn't like hearing that and wishes you wanted something serious. Maybe it was a test and you blew it.

 

 

Like I tell most people....she's not a f^&%$#* mind reader, so drop the attitude.

[act00]

Straight from the start, she expressed that she was not seeking a "serious" relationship and was looking at something more casual. YOU...yes YOU...stated that you were also seeking something more "casual". I see her as behaving quite like she presented...casual...while you have flipped head over heels, and despite your AGREEMENT on a casual relationship, you're expecting WAY MORE...and becoming angry and resentful that she's not meeting your expectations when you went and changed all the rules and haven't even filled her in and given her a chance to decide if this is the direction she wants to go.

 

OP, from the start, she stated clearly where her head was at, and you were quite fine with it and were seeking the same. Now that you are seeking more and you want more, you're expecting her to abide by this, and she's not. Her attitude and how she wants to work this relationship hasn't changed. She's not teasing you at all. You changed what you want and you changed your expectations and you are getting hurt that she's not complying. She doesn't feel the same for you as you do her. She wants to stay casual. If you can't work with that, you need to move on and find a woman who wants to have a serious relationship.

[PRW]

So I thought: "Don't skrew this up man, this is a once in a lifetime chance'

 

Classic mistake #1

Heading for a train wreck here. Any time a guy thinks a girl is a "once in a lifetime", or is "The One",...the train is about to go off the rails.

 

I, honest as I am, foolishly told here about almost all of my secrets. I thought she should be aware of who she is dealing with, to avoid later disappointments.

Classic mistake #2

What you really did was tell her what she needs to be disappointed with right now,...and that you are "unworthy" of her presents.

 

I asked her about the reason she is using Tinder. She said she wasn't looking for a relationship, since she just had a breakup not too long ago.

Never ask woman why she is on Tinder,...or any other similar App or Website. Tinder is primarily a Hook Up App,...and hookup means non-commital sex. If they are on there for other reasons they will say so themselves without you asking,...usually written in their profile.

 

I told here something similar. I was just looking for some nice company and maybe a loose relationship without any heavy commitments and compromises.

Easily discernible way to just be "agreeable" and giving a rubber stamp answer. It is also a lie,...that isn't why you are there. She will see right through all of that.

 

We then had a decent phone call. She told me, that she'd been busy all week, hence the postponing.

Classic excuse. Women who are experienced and know what they are doing are simply hoping that the guy is smart enough to know what those excuses really mean and move on. She is still on Tinder,...you are not the only guy.

 

I then did my second stuped mistake and asked her out on a second date. Last resort kinda. On that day I got two free tickets for a music act on my town. Really randomly. Almost like a sign from god. So there was no other choice than to invite her on this. She luckily said yes and there we had our second date.

She went for the free concert.

 

She said, that she wouldn't yet be ready for any kind of relationship or dating in any wise. And kinda said goobye to me already.

She's been telling you that since the day you met her and you won't listen.

 

I got to know her better. She told me somethings about here love life.

Kinda pissed me off, that she was rubing it in my face, that she was still using Tinder. Very teasing to me. Because I thought, she wasn't looking for relationships.

Then later that evening she even told me that she had an affair with one of her uni teacher back in the day (he must've been 10+ years older than her). Again very teasing.

She is screaming at you, "I'm a bit slutty and just want to have a good time with no commitment. I told you that the first day we met and we met on a Hookup App,...that I am STILL using. Figure it out!!"

 

The concert was lame (other than the music). She wouldn't have any interaction with me. Just a few funny faces that was it. No hugging, no smiling, no resting on my shoulder. I felt lame, so I didn't try to conquer her, once again.

Free concert,...nothing more.

 

Later at the bus home, I told her about my desperateness of wanting some physical attention. She gave me a warm hug. Again the date ended in the tram and not at anyones home.

So you basically "put yourself out of your misery" with her. The warm hug just means she doesn't think you are a bad person,...that you are "nice",...and maybe feels sorry for you a little bit. But you aren't in any way the guy she is going to want to go out with a get wild.

 

Search for the book "How to be a 3% Man" by Corey Wayne. As you read through it you will be slapping your forehead about every two pages and burying your face in your hands. But you'll come out better in the end.

Edited July 2, 2018 by PRW

[coolheadal]

Remember OP it's Tinder don't take any women on their seriously.. But you did and your heart is broken all over the place. I would advise you to pickup your heart get off Tinder and go find a real woman who wants to be with you always. Stop wasting all your money on women who just want a meal ticket. That's all you are too them. Hug and a goodbye.. She's on to the next guy and the next.. Stop crying over her she's not worth it and stop treating her as if she was your GF she's not she told you what she wanted and you still didn't listen. Take all that effort and use it on a real girl who wants you for you.. They should want to cook you a meal from their place thus you save your money. You can bring a bottle of wine to enjoy instead of what your doing right now nothing.. That tinder girl knows how to work the system, she's damage good anyway.. Don't you fall for anymore Tinder girls you won't be happy in the end...

[5x5]

I asked her about the reason she is using Tinder. She said she wasn't looking for a relationship, since she just had a breakup not too long ago.

 

So she's happy to date after a breakup without wanting a relationship, and had no qualms telling you that she wasn't looking for a relationship.

 

Why you didn't see that as an opportunity to potentially have sex with her that evening is beyond me?

 

Honestly you lost her interest on the first date after you failed to exploit your opportunity.

 

In the future you might have better luck by being more forward. While leaving your desperation and neediness out of your box of tricks, because that kind of stuff is repellent.

[kendahke]

Tinder is primarily a Hook Up App,

 

Not anymore.

 

"So what was the most commonly cited reason for using Tinder? It's popular: 48.3% of the respondents indicated that the main reason they used Tinder revolved around its popularity — the media hype or the fact that many of their peers were using it. Only about 5% of those surveyed indicated that the desire for hookups was their main motivation for joining the site. "

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/201706/is-tinder-really-hookup-app

[nospam99]

Not anymore.

 

And I read Playboy for the interviews.