Author Marley Rizzla Posted June 14, 2018 Author Posted June 14, 2018 (edited) I feel like, if he wanted more, he would have called you by now. But, why didn't you contact him earlier? It's been a week, he probably has already slept with 2 other girls by now judging by how fast he operated last time. You met then the second time after 2 days, you had sex, then it was poof, he disappeared. That is one of the main reasons why I didn't contact him. I, too, feel like if he wanted more, he would have called and that's that. Chasing a guy who is potentially not interested in more, feels like I'm reaching out, when I could be doing something else. One the other hand, at least giving it one try is worth it if we could repeat it. I guess I'm on the fence right now. I read some great replies and they really helped see things more spherically. Edited June 14, 2018 by Marley Rizzla 1
MidwestUSA Posted June 14, 2018 Posted June 14, 2018 That is one of the main reasons why I didn't contact him. I, too, feel like if he wanted more, he would have called and that's that. Chasing a guy who is potentially not interested in more, feels like I'm reaching out, when I could be doing something else. One the other hand, at least giving it one try is worth it if we could repeat it. I guess I'm on the fence right now. I read some great replies and they really helped see things more spherically. You know, it's possible, if he's been burned this way before, he's assuming you'll get attached and want something more. Maybe he doesn't want to dangle the, um, er, carrot! He may be trying to protect himself from the need to extricate himself later. Lay it out there for him. And if you both agree to sex only, DO NOT try to make it more than that. Call or text him and go for it. All he can say is 'no thanks'. 1
kendahke Posted June 14, 2018 Posted June 14, 2018 (edited) That actually makes me feel better, Kendahke! My reason is that by texting first I'll show that I'm more into him that he is into me, I guess, and it puts me in an "inferior" position. . So this is a game you're trying to win? It's a casual sex arrangement by your own admission, so who cares what he thinks as long as you're getting casual sex? Edited June 14, 2018 by kendahke 1
frigginlost Posted June 14, 2018 Posted June 14, 2018 Good Lord!! The amount of analyzing this situation is hilarious! Look, this dude sounds smart. Very smart. If he picked up on you wanting "casual" get together's, why the **ck would he contact you until he wanted more fun? You're a "pump and dump" girl by your own admission, and that's the way you want it. Live up to that, and realize you're nothing more than that. Jeez... women crack me up sometimes. 1
frigginlost Posted June 14, 2018 Posted June 14, 2018 So this is a game you're trying to win? It's a casual sex arrangement by your own admission, so who cares what he thinks as long as you're getting casual sex? Exactly! Nail on the head!
Normm Posted June 14, 2018 Posted June 14, 2018 Sounds like you are just another notch in his belt, he's one of those "one and done" sort of guys. He's probably been through at least 2 more just like you since you last hooked up. No surprise given the venue by which you met and your stated goal of not really looking for anything serious. 1
Author Marley Rizzla Posted June 15, 2018 Author Posted June 15, 2018 Good Lord!! The amount of analyzing this situation is hilarious! Look, this dude sounds smart. Very smart. If he picked up on you wanting "casual" get together's, why the **ck would he contact you until he wanted more fun? You're a "pump and dump" girl by your own admission, and that's the way you want it. Live up to that, and realize you're nothing more than that. Jeez... women crack me up sometimes. Glad you're amused =] And thank you for replying, as rude as you were, bc I made this thread to hear some male opinions on the matter. Women are, generally speaking, more insecure than men. Doesn't matter if we're smart or pretty or successful or independent. We'll always have something to feel insecure about. As a result we tend to overanalyze situations. And we want to feel wanted. Men do the courting, women get courted. That's how it works for us. It doesn't matter if we're courted for casual sex or a relationship. The rules are the same. This is a power play for us. A game, like Kendahke very eloquently said and the lines are very thin. I do it. My female friends do it. A lot of women I've met do it. We seek validation. Always. Constantly. Even from our long term partners. If a man doesn't give us that, it's easy to doubt ourselves. You can think whatever you want about it. Silly? Weak? Pathetic? Maybe... But true nonetheless. So yeah. I am admitting my insecurity. That's what I'm going to own up to. I own up to the fact that starting this thread might sound ridiculous to a guy like you. In the end, it comes down to the aforementioned "power play" that may exist in a woman's head but not in a man's.
Author Marley Rizzla Posted June 15, 2018 Author Posted June 15, 2018 Sounds like you are just another notch in his belt, he's one of those "one and done" sort of guys. He's probably been through at least 2 more just like you since you last hooked up. No surprise given the venue by which you met and your stated goal of not really looking for anything serious. Thank you for taking the time to reply, Normm. I'm gathering opinions here. =)
frigginlost Posted June 15, 2018 Posted June 15, 2018 (edited) Glad you're amused =] And thank you for replying, as rude as you were, bc I made this thread to hear some male opinions on the matter. Women are, generally speaking, more insecure than men. Doesn't matter if we're smart or pretty or successful or independent. We'll always have something to feel insecure about. As a result we tend to overanalyze situations. And we want to feel wanted. Men do the courting, women get courted. That's how it works for us. It doesn't matter if we're courted for casual sex or a relationship. The rules are the same. This is a power play for us. A game, like Kendahke very eloquently said and the lines are very thin. I do it. My female friends do it. A lot of women I've met do it. We seek validation. Always. Constantly. Even from our long term partners. If a man doesn't give us that, it's easy to doubt ourselves. You can think whatever you want about it. Silly? Weak? Pathetic? Maybe... But true nonetheless. So yeah. I am admitting my insecurity. That's what I'm going to own up to. I own up to the fact that starting this thread might sound ridiculous to a guy like you. In the end, it comes down to the aforementioned "power play" that may exist in a woman's head but not in a man's. You have got to be kidding me... You're explicitly stating that you want to be used as a whoopie cushion, and in the same breath stating that you want to be courted and taken seriously. Unbelievable. You (and your friends) are exhibit A on why players play. I hate to be the one to inform you, but no, the rules are not the same. Easy chicks or those who want casual will *never* get the effort (courting) they are searching for. Learn that. They will be played, and beat every time. Once the keys to the kingdom have been given, why work to open the door again? And if you do find a guy that bends over backwards for you after being told it's "casual", more than likely he's a narcissist, and will blow through you when the next set of legs open in front of him. You may find me rude, and that's fine (I could actually not care less), but believe me, 90% of the dudes out there see things the exact way I'm telling you. They won't admit it, because, well, that would take them off the list of women who are easy to smash. The very second you mention "casual" to any man, you are placed so low on their respect scale that climbing it is nearly impossible. There are exceptions, but you're not going to be one of them. Why? Because you care. Edited June 15, 2018 by frigginlost
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