bayybayy707 Posted June 12, 2018 Posted June 12, 2018 When I was 16 I met this boy in high school that I instantly fell in love with. I never thought I would ever experience "love at first sight" but i did! He ended up asking me to be his girlfriend and i obviously said yes, but the teen relationship did not last long...but a very good thing came out of it. We became like best friends. Even after we ended our little relationship, we continued to become even closer as friends. After high school ended, we sort of went our separate ways, and I ended up meeting my boyfriend of 8 years that i'm currently with til this day. But my ex has continuously popped in and out of my life throughout the years. And every time he pops back into my life, the memories and the feelings come back stronger. As the years have gone by, I learned that my he started using heroin and other hard drugs and he has been living in and out of jail. But my feelings for him don't change one bit because i have so much history with him. The reason why i'm posting on here is because I feel crazy about the fact that I never got over him. I can go almost a year without hearing from him and I have dreams of him at least once a week. I think about him every day. I cant hear certain songs without reminiscing about him and the times i've spent with him. I randomly think of inside jokes me and him had before and i will literally laugh out loud...and whenever his name is brought up in a conversation I will talk about him forever...when nobody else cares to keep talking about him...oops Did I make a mistake by keeping a friendship with him? I just feel like its too late to turn back now and cut him off forever because of the tragedies that hes going through in his life (being in jail and all that) and I honestly know in my heart that if I did cut him out of my life, Ill still never stop thinking about him. Is it because I never had closure with him? Ive never actually had a conversation with him about the way I feel about him. I dont think he actually knows for real how I really feel about him. Maybe If i write him a letter and tell him how i feel, maybe that can get rid of all these nostalgic feelings....
preraph Posted June 13, 2018 Posted June 13, 2018 You should stay far far away from him if he's a heroin addict. Look, heroin changes who people are. It destroys your brain eventually, and in the meantime, it slows down the brain. I just read a recent study on it. They are never the same, even if they get off heroin. They're not as sharp as they once were. And needing to buy drugs because you're desperate makes you do bad things and end up in jail. It's not really an option to be with him because he's going to end up just living in jail with a fried brain. You need to say your own closure to your own self at home and celebrate who he used to be because no one can help a heroin addict except himself and a rehab center and only if he wants it. Jail is the best thing for him, really. You need to just accept the good old friend is gone, because he is. Look, I had a guy I wasn't as close to as you, but we had a crush on each other and he was in and out of my life for a few years, and we slept together, but also just had fun. Then his dad died and he went up north to take over his dad's small business. He had done some drugs before. But now he had money and he just went up there and became a total junkie. He and I had a mutual friend and she would ask his mother how he was and kept up with the story that way. His mom pretty much had to write him off. So you knew it was bad. He was hanging out with strippers and just other hard-core drug users up there. He did come back to town once and came to see me, but I just started crying once I talked to him for a few minutes. He was just fried, a shadow of who he used to be. I told him bluntly he was ruining his life, that he had been so bright and creative and he was just ruining his life, and of course that was the last I saw of him -- or heard of him. I doubt he's even still alive. Remember your friend as if he was dead and gone, because he will never be the same. And you can't help him. And the last thing you need is to bring trouble and chaos into your life by acting like you want to see him because a junkie will just take advantage of that and rip you off and disappoint you. So don't. Have a little private memorial for him or whatever. Say goodbye. I'm sorry.
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