Danielle08 Posted June 12, 2018 Posted June 12, 2018 I've been with my bf for 2 years. Our relationship has it's ups and downs but our communication isn't strong enough. After arguments, I go into another room to cool down. Afterwards, come back to communicate with him if possible. I decided to watch a movie which is in the same room with him. While watching the movie, I asked if he can please turn his volume down on his phone because it was too loud. He then asked sarcastically what movie I'm watching and then I told him. For two mins his volume was still loud so I turned the TV off and left out the room without saying a word because I felt ignored. Then he gets mad at me for turning the TV off and states "I'm leaving for the night..I'll be back in the morning or this day or that day" "I'm getting away from you" While he's packing up, he states that he was going to finish the video on his phone before turning it off and he was going to watch the movie with me. So I stated, "why you just didn't say that because it's not my fault you wanting to leave." He continues out the door with his belongings and our dog stating "we'll it's my fault". In the *need for advice*
preraph Posted June 12, 2018 Posted June 12, 2018 You did the right thing telling him why didn't he just say he would turn it off in a minute and join you. Both of you tend to clam up when you get your feathers ruffled and you might need a counselor to relearn to communicate better.
Gaeta Posted June 12, 2018 Posted June 12, 2018 I've been with my bf for 2 years. Our relationship has it's ups and downs This tells me the relationship isn't on solid ground. At 2 years you should not already have a history of ups and downs. but our communication isn't strong enough. After arguments, I go into another room to cool down. Did you tell him you were taking a time out to calm down? or your stormed out of the room. Afterwards, come back to communicate with him if possible. So you had your time out and felt ready to communicate. Why do you assume HE was ready? Maybe he needs a longer time out to cool down. I decided to watch a movie which is in the same room with him. I thought you said you came back to communicate with him? Why start a movie? You came out of your room, turn on the tv and start a movie without addressing him? That doesn't sound like someone ready to make peace. While watching the movie, I asked if he can please turn his volume down on his phone because it was too loud. He then asked sarcastically what movie I'm watching and then I told him. For two mins his volume was still loud so I turned the TV off and left out the room without saying a word because I felt ignored. Then he gets mad at me for turning the TV off and states "I'm leaving for the night..I'll be back in the morning or this day or that day" "I'm getting away from you" While he's packing up, he states that he was going to finish the video on his phone before turning it off and he was going to watch the movie with me. So I stated, "why you just didn't say that because it's not my fault you wanting to leave." He continues out the door with his belongings and our dog stating "we'll it's my fault". In the *need for advice* I don't beleive him. He said that to make you feel bad and guilty. He knew the volume was annoying you and that's why he kept it up. You don't need advice, you need to change the lock of your apartment and put his stuff out the door. Your bf is passive agressive, manipulative, lying. He's guilt tripping you and finally he's playing the abandonment card to take his revenge on you...........all this after only 2 years. We see that type of resentment after 20 years together, but after 2 years it means no one if having fun anymore and it's time to quit.
Mr. Lucky Posted June 12, 2018 Posted June 12, 2018 Then he gets mad at me for turning the TV off and states "I'm leaving for the night..I'll be back in the morning or this day or that day" "I'm getting away from you" While he's packing up, he states that he was going to finish the video on his phone before turning it off and he was going to watch the movie with me. So I stated, "why you just didn't say that because it's not my fault you wanting to leave." He continues out the door with his belongings and our dog stating "we'll it's my fault". In the *need for advice* I'm afraid he sounds passive/aggressive, a very difficult trait to overcome in a relationship. Counselling would be more than a help, probably a lifesaver in your situation... Mr. Lucky
Author Danielle08 Posted June 13, 2018 Author Posted June 13, 2018 (edited) I went into another room because he kept stating I was a liar because he stated something to me in the past and I told him I don't recall him stating that. Everytime I tried to explain to him what I remembered, he kept talking over me stating this conversation done. If I would of brought up the discussion, it would of been another argument. There has been times that we will come together and discuss our issues. The day he left out, he came back hours later drunk.Smh Edited June 13, 2018 by Danielle08
Gaeta Posted June 13, 2018 Posted June 13, 2018 I went into another room because he kept stating I was a liar because he stated something to me in the past and I told him I don't recall him stating that. Everytime I tried to explain to him what I remembered, he kept talking over me stating this conversation done. If I would of brought up the discussion, it would of been another argument. There has been times that we will come together and discuss our issues. The day he left out, he came back hours later drunk.Smh Why are you with this man at all? Why young women endure this type of abuse when they have the youth, energy, and their entire life in front of them to find a good loving partner? 1
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