ZageJ86 Posted June 10, 2018 Posted June 10, 2018 (edited) He's separated but still married. Hes 45 and I'm 31.They have been separated for a little over a year. The marriage is done. We've been dating for two months now. He's so good to me. Hes so wise, loving, giving and patient.Ive never been treated like this before. I haven't dated in 12 years and I've only had one boyfriend before him. I always said to myself that Id never date a married man but here I am, the truth is the truth even though they are separated they are still married and I'm dating him. He refers to her as his ex wife. He said it was never love just a situation where she helped him become legal. He does respect her though. They don't have any kids together. He says she's open to meeting me if I wanted to. He says a divorce is easy, it's just a matter of signing the papers. My problem is I'm not pushing him to file because I'm not sure if I want a 100 percent serious relationship yet. On the other hand I feel like karma will get me because even though they are separated they are still legally bound. I didn't break up their marriage and if I did talk to the "ex"wife and she told me to back off I would but it's not like this. She knows about me. Any advice? Edited June 10, 2018 by ZageJ86
carhill Posted June 10, 2018 Posted June 10, 2018 I doubt she's celibate. Couple's dinner? Does his apartment/house look like a typical bachelor pad? Is he 'legal'? Sound like he's a K1/K3 immigrant, presuming US. That process has hurdles. General advice regarding separated people is no rush and attach slowly.
Gaeta Posted June 10, 2018 Posted June 10, 2018 If his divorce is only a matter of signing a paper then why doesn't he sign it? His divorce has nothing to do with you. He's no longer living with her, he says he doesn't love her so what's the hold up on sigining these papers? When you meet someone new please don't beleive everything they tell you. He may be nice to you but it doesn't mean he's not lying to you. I'd like to remind you marrying someone to give them their citizenship is an illegal act. 2
phineas Posted June 10, 2018 Posted June 10, 2018 (edited) If his divorce is only a matter of signing a paper then why doesn't he sign it? His divorce has nothing to do with you. He's no longer living with her, he says he doesn't love her so what's the hold up on sigining these papers? When you meet someone new please don't beleive everything they tell you. He may be nice to you but it doesn't mean he's not lying to you. I'd like to remind you marrying someone to give them their citizenship is an illegal act. Sure it's illegal but it happens all the time and almost impossible to prove. Besides it's so fricken expensive you need someone with deep pockets to make it worth it. but all that other stuff is spot on. The number of "separated" women i've met who were still in the same house as the guy or just lying and looking for some side action..... Edited June 10, 2018 by phineas
smackie9 Posted June 10, 2018 Posted June 10, 2018 Why are you going against your beliefs? Just because the candy coating on the outside looks good doesn't mean you should take a bite. You are here because it doesn't feel right...well it doesn't feel right to me either. Don't let your feelings cloud your better judgement. I smell bs. If you were smart you would back off a bit and do some snooping/research on this guy. Could easily be a con. People get duped out of their fiances, etc
Artdeco Posted June 10, 2018 Posted June 10, 2018 Dating somebody who’s separated is fine, imo. Divorces take time, and if You get along with the person, and if you can see yourself dating them, long or short-term, I see nothing wrong with it. Separated equals single imo. What I would have an issue with is his past, meaning him getting married for immigration purposes? That would make me think twice, but that’s another subject matter altogether.
preraph Posted June 10, 2018 Posted June 10, 2018 I would calmly ask him when they plan on finalizing the divorce. Just ask him what the plan is. Tell him dating a married man who doesn't go forward with divorce will raise some eyebrows among your friends and family. Tell him once he finalizes the divorce, then you can both look at your relationship and see where you're at. So another words don't make any promises to him. And if I were you I would also not be shocked if he decided to start seeing other women after the divorce is finalized. It goes without saying that you should not mix any money with him.Good luck.
coolheadal Posted June 10, 2018 Posted June 10, 2018 My dear don't get fooled by the words "IT'S JUST A PIECE OF PAPER" they say the same thing when their are still married or want to get married. They are completely wrong. He will never sign the paper so don't push it. He can always go back to his wife because "hint, hint" shh! HE'S STILL MARRIED TO HER" He can have sex with her and etc. Where would you stand no where because you don't have any rights or ground to stand on because he's married to his WF still. Your just someone he's playing around with on the side where he doesn't get what he wants from his WF. Do not go that way, stick to what you want. Find a man who doesn't play marriage games like this with your mind. You will be the loser at the end because if you let him have is way into your heart. This is what you end up with wondering what you should do now. Leave and get away from him. Nothing but trouble. I speak from experience I know a woman I was with in early 2016 to 2017 and found of she's lied and was married but was separated and didn't have the money to file for divorce. But did she really want to get that divorce as to her it was JUST A PIECE OF PAPER" no it's not.. I told her I could only be her best friend nothing else.
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