Riot21 Posted May 29, 2018 Posted May 29, 2018 What should I do about my boyfriend. I found out via reading my boyfriends texts that he broke into her apartment last year and went through her computer to find evidence she heated three years prior. He did this right before making things official with me and they had been broken up for a year at that point. He also faked a letter to get out of a lease last year. He also used to talk **** about me to his ex and said it wouldn’t last long but he’s willing to give me a shot. That was six months ago. He refuses to tell her any more details of our relationship anymore because he has answered all her questions. He says he sees an immediate future with me but can’t soeak to us getting married or dating for years because he can’t predict the future. He also said Most relationship have an uncertain future and that most role have obstacles they have to overcome. He told her he thought they would get married and be together foreve but it didn’t workout between them. He told her that he can see himself marrying me but we have a long road ahead of us. He told her **** yuh andto move on when she wouldn’t stop incessantly calling him for weeks and he finally blocked her because she was being annoying but was upset he had to.
Zahara Posted May 29, 2018 Posted May 29, 2018 What should I do about my boyfriend. I found out via reading my boyfriends texts that he broke into her apartment last year and went through her computer to find evidence she heated three years prior. He did this right before making things official with me and they had been broken up for a year at that point. He also faked a letter to get out of a lease last year. He also used to talk **** about me to his ex and said it wouldn’t last long but he’s willing to give me a shot. That was six months ago. He refuses to tell her any more details of our relationship anymore because he has answered all her questions. He says he sees an immediate future with me but can’t soeak to us getting married or dating for years because he can’t predict the future. He also said Most relationship have an uncertain future and that most role have obstacles they have to overcome. He told her he thought they would get married and be together foreve but it didn’t workout between them. He told her that he can see himself marrying me but we have a long road ahead of us. He told her **** yuh andto move on when she wouldn’t stop incessantly calling him for weeks and he finally blocked her because she was being annoying but was upset he had to. Is this the same guy in all your other threads? If so, I think the unanimous response was to walk away. I would say it still applies. 1
Author Riot21 Posted May 29, 2018 Author Posted May 29, 2018 Is this the same guy in all your other threads? If so, I think the unanimous response was to walk away. I would say it still applies. But he finally blocked her and things are going well for us. Is it too weird for him to be hesitant about marrying me after six months of seriously dating and almost a year of casually dating?
smackie9 Posted May 29, 2018 Posted May 29, 2018 This guy is messed up....run Forest run! get out now!
Author Riot21 Posted May 29, 2018 Author Posted May 29, 2018 This guy is messed up....run Forest run! get out now! What is the shadiest part besides the breaking in?
smackie9 Posted May 29, 2018 Posted May 29, 2018 What is the shadiest part besides the breaking in? "He also used to talk **** about me to his ex" To me he is a disgusting person...someone with no integrity/respect. He is a narcissist. He only worries about himself.
TunaCat Posted May 29, 2018 Posted May 29, 2018 What is the shadiest part besides the breaking in? That's not enough for you? It sure as hell would be enough for me. 2
Zahara Posted May 29, 2018 Posted May 29, 2018 But he finally blocked her and things are going well for us. Is it too weird for him to be hesitant about marrying me after six months of seriously dating and almost a year of casually dating? I do not want to hurt you but I don't think there is any way to say this to you because we have all tried but you INSIST on clinging to this man. He only picked you because things didn't work out with her. He does not love you -- not in the true and genuine sense. He is telling you he doesn't know about a future with you because he knows there is no future with you. He knows you are desperate to be with him. He is giving you a disclaimer -- he's giving you a warning not to expect anything more. I couldn't quote this from a previous thread you wrote but here are your own words: "My ex lies about everything. Cheats on his new gf with me. Cheated on me. Forged documents to get out of a lease. Lies about telling me things when he didn't." 1
Author Riot21 Posted May 29, 2018 Author Posted May 29, 2018 "He also used to talk **** about me to his ex" To me he is a disgusting person...someone with no integrity/respect. He is a narcissist. He only worries about himself. I mean he stopped talking **** about me now and claims he has told her everything is not her business now and that he has kind of learned to love my short comings and embrace them but not necessarily. He tells her I am great when he is mad at her and kind of downplays our relationship when he isn’t mad at her
Author Riot21 Posted May 29, 2018 Author Posted May 29, 2018 I do not want to hurt you but I don't think there is any way to say this to you because we have all tried but you INSIST on clinging to this man. He only picked you because things didn't work out with her. He does not love you -- not in the true and genuine sense. He is telling you he doesn't know about a future with you because he knows there is no future with you. He knows you are desperate to be with him. He is giving you a disclaimer -- he's giving you a warning not to expect anything more. I couldn't quote this from a previous thread you wrote but here are your own words: "My ex lies about everything. Cheats on his new gf with me. Cheated on me. Forged documents to get out of a lease. Lies about telling me things when he didn't." He also told her they aren’t together because of me. They aren’t together because of the mistakes they made. He only slept with her when we were casually dating. He did say he was playing golf when in reality he was with her but that happened once. Since we became serious his attitude has changed
Zahara Posted May 29, 2018 Posted May 29, 2018 He tells her I am great when he is mad at her and kind of downplays our relationship when he isn’t mad at her Of course. He just bounces between the two of you. Hence, he chose you because things aren't so great with her. I bet he'll be back to her when he starts getting tired of you.
Author Riot21 Posted May 29, 2018 Author Posted May 29, 2018 That's not enough for you? It sure as hell would be enough for me. He is happy he did so because she did cheat on him and he finally knew the truth
Zahara Posted May 29, 2018 Posted May 29, 2018 Since we became serious his attitude has changed I'm sorry but a liar and cheater doesn't change overnight. It's ingrained. It's who they are and you yourself noted he lies about everything and has cheated on you. Don't be surprised if he's playing both sides.
Author Riot21 Posted May 29, 2018 Author Posted May 29, 2018 Of course. He just bounces between the two of you. Hence, he chose you because things aren't so great with her. I bet he'll be back to her when he starts getting tired of you. Yeah she is crazy. He told her she pushed him so so far away to where they probably couldn’t even be friends because she calls him all the time and annoys him
smackie9 Posted May 29, 2018 Posted May 29, 2018 I would never ever date someone that used to talk ^%$# about me! He did it for momentary gain. That says loser all over it. 1
Author Riot21 Posted May 29, 2018 Author Posted May 29, 2018 I'm sorry but a liar and cheater doesn't change overnight. It's ingrained. It's who they are and you yourself noted he lies about everything and has cheated on you. Don't be surprised if he's playing both sides. I guess. We weren’t an official couple then so that’s where it gets middle for me. When he slept with her and lied to me we were just casually seeing each other
Zahara Posted May 29, 2018 Posted May 29, 2018 Yeah she is crazy. He told her she pushed him so so far away to where they probably couldn’t even be friends because she calls him all the time and annoys him And I am sure your boyfriend is a prize! There's always two sides. He was talking **** about you too to her.
Author Riot21 Posted May 29, 2018 Author Posted May 29, 2018 I would never ever date someone that used to talk ^%$# about me! He did it for momentary gain. That says loser all over it. What if he learned to like my shortcomings after knowing me better? Maybe he was just immature. I dunno. I try to see the good in everyone. Maybe he realized the things he talked **** about me for wasn’t as bad. He tells her sometimes we have a great time and other times we have just an okay time. Isn’t that normal in relationships. Also we have been dating for six months b
Author Riot21 Posted May 29, 2018 Author Posted May 29, 2018 And I am sure your boyfriend is a prize! There's always two sides. He was talking **** about you too to her. Okay I am young and don’t really have lots of relationship experience. Do people learn to love people and see the good in them and realize what they wanted initially changes over time? He said that initially now he tells her he really likes how kind and nice I am and I am funny and pretty. He told her he wishes I had other qualities at first but told her now we are compatible where in the past at the beginning of the relationship we weren’t super compatible. Do feelings change over time? He told her they do
Zahara Posted May 29, 2018 Posted May 29, 2018 Okay I am young and don’t really have lots of relationship experience. Do people learn to love people and see the good in them and realize what they wanted initially changes over time? He said that initially now he tells her he really likes how kind and nice I am and I am funny and pretty. He told her he wishes I had other qualities at first but told her now we are compatible where in the past at the beginning of the relationship we weren’t super compatible. Do feelings change over time? He told her they do You've received a lot of great advice in your past threads. I suggest you go back and read them. Most of us who have been through the ringer and speak from experience have time and time again advised you to walk away. You however have insisted on clinging to this man -- mostly due to the lack of value/worth that you see within yourself, along with the possibility of being young and inexperienced. This isn't about feelings changing and all the nonsense he feeds you but the beast that you are dealing with and that beast has lied and cheated on you. He's played you both to get what he wants when he wants it and you have stayed put regardless of the many red flags that have slapped you because you want so desperately for him to accept/love you. If man talks ill of you, you walk away. If a man cheats and lies to you, you walk away. One lesson that you have taught him is that you will tolerate poor treatment and in that sense be prepared for more of it. When you show a man that he can disrespect you, the only way to go from there is down. 1
Author Riot21 Posted May 29, 2018 Author Posted May 29, 2018 You've received a lot of great advice in your past threads. I suggest you go back and read them. Most of us who have been through the ringer and speak from experience have time and time again advised you to walk away. You however have insisted on clinging to this man -- mostly due to the lack of value/worth that you see within yourself, along with the possibility of being young and inexperienced. This isn't about feelings changing and all the nonsense he feeds you but the beast that you are dealing with and that beast has lied and cheated on you. He's played you both to get what he wants when he wants it and you have stayed put regardless of the many red flags that have slapped you because you want so desperately for him to accept/love you. If man talks ill of you, you walk away. If a man cheats and lies to you, you walk away. One lesson that you have taught him is that you will tolerate poor treatment and in that sense be prepared for more of it. When you show a man that he can disrespect you, the only way to go from there is down. Even if all of that happened before we became officially a couple? He says his feelings for me are always changing and he can’t predict the future. He said all that to his ex when she incessantly called him
Zahara Posted May 29, 2018 Posted May 29, 2018 Even if all of that happened before we became officially a couple? He says his feelings for me are always changing and he can’t predict the future. He said all that to his ex when she incessantly called him I'm sorry, Riot. You want to hear what you want to hear but no one on this board, after reading and responding to your threads is going to tell you he is a prize and that you are lucky to have him. He is manipulative, a cheater and a liar. You in your own words satted that he cheated on you, cheated on her and has been a compulsive liar. Go back and read your threads. Stop grasping at one little loophole you've created in your head and magnify it as some redeeming and justifying quality as to why you should be with him. All the BS words he feeds you to mess with your head and keep you where you are, you just gobble up. You have no boundaries and lack self-respect. And he knows this and trust that when he tires of you, he will focus elsewhere. It's unfortunate that you are beginning your path this way because you're conditioning yourself to allow bad behavior as you keep staying with this tool. 2
preraph Posted May 29, 2018 Posted May 29, 2018 Whether he's still talking to his ex is the least of your worries. This man has no ethics. You do NOT want a man who will have so little disrespect for any other person that he will break into their house and invade their privacy just to prove he is right! He should be in jail right now. He has no boundaries. You're nuts for even considering marrying him, for a multitude of reasons. One, it's way too soon and you haven't even seen his worst side yet, I don't think. He sounds very self-absorbed. He continued interacting with the ex for a long time and may continue to despite his latest temper tantrum and blocking her. Supposed it turns out this guy is a physical abusers sometime? When you try to leave, he'll just break in your house. You need someone with some respect and ethics. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted May 29, 2018 Posted May 29, 2018 OP, one day this guy will bounce out of your life for good. This isn't the man you'll be with forever. And where will you be? Your self-esteem and judgment will even more destroyed than it already is, and you will have nothing to show for it. What do you friends and family think about your insistence on staying with someone who so very clearly doesn't love you? 1
Author Riot21 Posted May 29, 2018 Author Posted May 29, 2018 OP, one day this guy will bounce out of your life for good. This isn't the man you'll be with forever. And where will you be? Your self-esteem and judgment will even more destroyed than it already is, and you will have nothing to show for it. What do you friends and family think about your insistence on staying with someone who so very clearly doesn't love you? Will being with him for a long time further erode my self worth and make me fearful to trust others in the future?
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