jeffgordono7 Posted June 8, 2018 Posted June 8, 2018 I have been on a few dates with this woman, and on Saturday I asked about going out this week. She said "yes" and told me "I'll have to figure out my schedule but maybe Wednesday?" On Monday we were talking and I asked "did you find out if Wednesday will work for sure?" and she did not reply (though she was at work) Tuesday I asked "Hey just checking if Wednesday will work?" and she said "I don't think so. My babysitter is out of town and I'm not sure if my mom can watch my son" I said "well if it works out just let me know" and she said "ok i will" Well the date didn't happen, I suppose her mom couldn't babysit, and we have talked a few times since then but I'm curious, did I maybe come off to strong trying to set the date up? I wasn't trying to be pushy but I was also trying to figure out what was going on
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 8, 2018 Posted June 8, 2018 I don't think you came on too strong, but it doesn't sound like there's high interest there. If a woman is interested in you, she will make a way.
Lotsgoingon Posted June 8, 2018 Posted June 8, 2018 You made your interest clear ... You batted the ball to her side of the court. Now it's her time to respond. You didn't come on too strong ... You expressed and interest in seeing her again ... perfectly fine ... No more followups from you ... let her take the next step ... Perfect time to relax and think of anyone else you'd possibly want to ask out ... Maybe you'll get a surprise call from this woman ... but dating is really a numbers game ... you want to keep asking out people you like ... and see what happens ...
d0nnivain Posted June 8, 2018 Posted June 8, 2018 You didn't come on too strong but her lukewarm response is telling me she's not chomping at the bit to date you again. If she was she would have said something like Wednesday doesn't work, how about Thursday or next Monday. She would have offered an alternative. She didn't. So take that as lack of interest.
Happy Lemming Posted June 8, 2018 Posted June 8, 2018 I have a question for you, JeffG... Do you have any children??
Author jeffgordono7 Posted June 8, 2018 Author Posted June 8, 2018 I have a question for you, JeffG... Do you have any children?? no i do not
Happy Lemming Posted June 8, 2018 Posted June 8, 2018 (edited) no i do not Well, you got your "first taste" of what it is like to date a single mother. Are you sure you want to sign on for this?? Personally, I don't date women with children. I tired it once and it was a monster disaster!! It is now "Number 1" on my deal breaker list. In my opinion, I'll leave the "single mothers" for the "single fathers" to date. Just my two cents... Edited June 8, 2018 by Happy Lemming spacing
Author jeffgordono7 Posted June 8, 2018 Author Posted June 8, 2018 You didn't come on too strong but her lukewarm response is telling me she's not chomping at the bit to date you again. If she was she would have said something like Wednesday doesn't work, how about Thursday or next Monday. She would have offered an alternative. She didn't. So take that as lack of interest. But when I asked Saturday she said "Yes, now we just gotta find a day'
Author jeffgordono7 Posted June 8, 2018 Author Posted June 8, 2018 You didn't come on too strong but her lukewarm response is telling me she's not chomping at the bit to date you again. If she was she would have said something like Wednesday doesn't work, how about Thursday or next Monday. She would have offered an alternative. She didn't. So take that as lack of interest. Plus she works nights and has a kid, not like she can just plan ahead like crazy
Author jeffgordono7 Posted June 8, 2018 Author Posted June 8, 2018 i didnt type the OP as good as I shoudl have. She seemed interested She said "yes, now we just gotta find a day" and she has legit reasons. She has a kid and works night
d0nnivain Posted June 8, 2018 Posted June 8, 2018 You are making excuses. I understand she works & has a kid. She said you two have to find a day. Last Saturday, she said maybe Wednesday. You followed up on Monday but she didn't respond. You had to send a 2nd message on Tuesday. On Tuesday she gave you excuses why she couldn't do the next day. She did not give you a concrete alternative. I understand her babysitter was out of town but she could have said, "my babysitter gets back on [day], let's get together the next day. In the meantime I'll call my mom to see if she can babysit earlier & I'll get back to you." That would indicate she was eager to see you. Instead she left things vague & unspecified, saying she'll let you know if things work out. Everybody is busy in this life. But people who want to see somebody for a date make time & carve out specific definitive dates. 1
Author jeffgordono7 Posted June 8, 2018 Author Posted June 8, 2018 You are making excuses. I understand she works & has a kid. She said you two have to find a day. Last Saturday, she said maybe Wednesday. You followed up on Monday but she didn't respond. You had to send a 2nd message on Tuesday. On Tuesday she gave you excuses why she couldn't do the next day. She did not give you a concrete alternative. I understand her babysitter was out of town but she could have said, "my babysitter gets back on [day], let's get together the next day. In the meantime I'll call my mom to see if she can babysit earlier & I'll get back to you." That would indicate she was eager to see you. Instead she left things vague & unspecified, saying she'll let you know if things work out. Everybody is busy in this life. But people who want to see somebody for a date make time & carve out specific definitive dates. She didnt come up with a alternative because i said "If you can;t find one then we can just shoot for next week " and she said "alright sounds good"
alluc Posted June 8, 2018 Posted June 8, 2018 She didnt come up with a alternative because i said "If you can;t find one then we can just shoot for next week " and she said "alright sounds good" The ball is in her court now. You have done everything you could. don't beat yourself up over it.
preraph Posted June 8, 2018 Posted June 8, 2018 Actually I think you were more patient than most people would have been. She apparently thinks she could keep anyone waiting until the last minute and they ought to understand because she probably use her time as more important than yours. If she wants to date, she needs to get her crap together and interview some babysitters.
Sgthaytham Posted June 8, 2018 Posted June 8, 2018 You made your intentions clear and she said she was busy. This has happened to me recently (see my thread), I waited it out, she got in touch to set a date and we’re seeing eachother tomorrow. That’s all you can do - wait and get on with your life.
Author jeffgordono7 Posted June 8, 2018 Author Posted June 8, 2018 You made your intentions clear and she said she was busy. This has happened to me recently (see my thread), I waited it out, she got in touch to set a date and we’re seeing eachother tomorrow. That’s all you can do - wait and get on with your life. Ugh this sucks. It;s hard to not just come out and tell her how I feel. I mean she's a single mom works full time and has been going through some stuff but I have never met another girl like her. She's is so mature and has a good soul.
ChatroomHero Posted June 8, 2018 Posted June 8, 2018 Low interest sounds right. The telling sign was, "I am not sure if my mom can babysit". The obvious next step is for her (if interested) to ask her mom and find out if she is interested and also communicate her intention and expected timeline to do so and when you might expect a reply. If a friend of mine said, "I can get two tickets to the Tiger game if you want to go" and my response was, I'm not sure I can, I know my friend would have to know in a certain time frame to accommodate if we are going. I would ask how much notice he needed and in the very least say, I'll know by XXX for sure... 'Maybe, let me confirm and get back to you' is interest. A hanging, 'I don't know' without any further detail is low interest. Wait it out and let her do the follow up, but I have found dating a lot easier to not put any real effort into someone who puts no real effort into me.
Author jeffgordono7 Posted June 8, 2018 Author Posted June 8, 2018 Low interest sounds right. The telling sign was, "I am not sure if my mom can babysit". The obvious next step is for her (if interested) to ask her mom and find out if she is interested and also communicate her intention and expected timeline to do so and when you might expect a reply. If a friend of mine said, "I can get two tickets to the Tiger game if you want to go" and my response was, I'm not sure I can, I know my friend would have to know in a certain time frame to accommodate if we are going. I would ask how much notice he needed and in the very least say, I'll know by XXX for sure... 'Maybe, let me confirm and get back to you' is interest. A hanging, 'I don't know' without any further detail is low interest. Wait it out and let her do the follow up, but I have found dating a lot easier to not put any real effort into someone who puts no real effort into me. She wasn't sure if her mom was gonna go out to dinner and movies like planned. i said if not let me know
act00 Posted June 8, 2018 Posted June 8, 2018 I'm reading low interest like everyone else. Someone who was interested would offer up some more detail and throw in an alternate. "I don't know if my mother can babysit on Wednesday, I'll let you know tonight. I'm pretty sure she's available on Thursday or Friday if those days would work." A vague "I don't know" and then not responding to your inquiry really doesn't bode well. As stated earlier, the only thing you can do is wait it out. Maybe she'll contact you. 1
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