Ab455 Posted June 5, 2018 Posted June 5, 2018 Me and my girlfriend have been together a few years but the past 6 months she has progressively had less to do with me. it started with calls then me taking her home and now she barely texts me and works a job somewhere else when she used to never want to leave because i worked there. We had a good past few weeks but last week she cancelled Thursday to take extra work hours and Friday to work as well and then on Saturday i took her to work and she asked me to get her from work and then cancelled 4 hours beforehand to take a ride with her mom (she's a adult) and it made me feel insulted and angry and made me blow up. I just feel lonely and want to stop spending my days off alone and i tell her and she promises she'll make it up but never does and it feels like she just sleeps or works and then paints how i feel as i have anger issues. i love her more then anything when she's around call's etc but I'm feeling lonely and went on tinder to just have someone anyone to talk to or maybe feel like i was important. All i really want is to feel important to her and appreciated and I don't know if I'm wrong to feel this way or if I'm a bad boyfriend.
Gaeta Posted June 5, 2018 Posted June 5, 2018 I know you don't want to hear this but it's time to break up for good and to move on to someone better suited for you. You broke up after a year dating for the exact same reasons and here you are 6 months after getting back together and she is giving you the same treatment. You need to let go. You will find love some place else and it will be 100 better than this. To find a real meaningful love though you need to let go of this one.
smackie9 Posted June 5, 2018 Posted June 5, 2018 Why is she working so much? Does she have a lot of dept? Anyways you are heading down a slippery slope looking for emotional affirmation from a dating site. That is no way to solve your problems. Your resolution: You need to find a night to take her out and have a talk. Tell her how you feel, the good and the bad ...keep your kool at all times, no arguing...and listen to her! After that, work on some way on how much communicating is needed between time you do see each other, and what is workable when you see each other. Not only that but work on how your time is spent, make it quality time. Lastly, do find other constructive ways to spend your free time, like join a club, hang out with friends, take up a hobby, learn to play guitar, or whatever interests you. If you are using her to fill your time, that's codependency...that makes a relationship unhealthy. Maybe that's why she seems to push away....you depend on her too much, to fill the void.
Author Ab455 Posted June 5, 2018 Author Posted June 5, 2018 (edited) She doesint text me anymore other then once or twice a day. I try to take her out and she bails or takes extra hours instead. at this point i only see her 2 hours to 30 mins a week and she maybe calls 30 mins a week. Hard to communicate that way. I’ve told her how i’ve felt and she goes it will be okay and then will sleep the whole day. It’s not like i need her all the time but for the past 6 months we see each other less and less.i’ll say i love her or how much she means to me and sometimes she will say it back but other times nothing.i’ve told her i want to actually talk and she goes we will or how she will call and doesn't. Edited June 5, 2018 by Ab455
Gaeta Posted June 5, 2018 Posted June 5, 2018 She doesint text me anymore other then once or twice a day. I try to take her out and she bails or takes extra hours instead. at this point i only see her 2 hours to 30 mins a week and she maybe calls 30 mins a week. Hard to communicate that way. I’ve told her how i’ve felt and she goes it will be okay and then will sleep the whole day. It’s not like i need her all the time but for the past 6 months we see each other less and less.i’ll say i love her or how much she means to me and sometimes she will say it back but other times nothing.i’ve told her i want to actually talk and she goes we will or how she will call and doesn't. She is done with this relationship she just doesn't have the guts to tell you. Spending 2 hours together a week and speaking 30mins is not a relationship. Why do you endure this? You broke up over this already, people don't change.
d0nnivain Posted June 5, 2018 Posted June 5, 2018 She may be done but I think the problem is more your expectations. You two spent way too much time together to start . .. working together & always on the phone with each other is unhealthy. Texting twice a day is a lot. I doubt I text my husband twice a week. At work I need to work not be on my phone doing personal stuff. If she has bills or is trying to save, the extra hours are probably helpful. For you to demand that she work less in favor of spending time with you in unreasonable. You make a huge mistake going on Tinder of all places to find somebody to talk to. You should have called a buddy. came on here, or found a chat room that is not about hooking up. Instead you went to the original ONS hook up site. Very poor decision on your part. But since you are unhappy & not getting your needs met, maybe you need to break up with her so you are free to find somebody who has more time to spend with. Just break up with her before you go back on Tinder. 1
Author Ab455 Posted June 5, 2018 Author Posted June 5, 2018 It’s not her working thats the issue, i think it’s unhealthy to speak or see someone maybe 3 hours a week when your in a relationship and the extra hours come from instead of us having one or any days off together we don’t see each other period.
smackie9 Posted June 5, 2018 Posted June 5, 2018 When your expectations are not being met, and there is no resolution, ....breakup. That is your answer.
Gaeta Posted June 5, 2018 Posted June 5, 2018 Texting twice a day is a lot. I doubt I text my husband twice a week. We cannot compare the texting habits of a couple married 10 years that have dinner together each night to a couple dating and barely seeing each other 3 hours a week. If she has bills or is trying to save, the extra hours are probably helpful. For you to demand that she work less in favor of spending time with you in unreasonable. Demanding she cuts her hours to see him is wrong yes but that's not an excuse for her to see him only 30 hours a week. If she does so it's becaus he's at the very bottom of her priority list. For 2 years by boyfriend was gone 16 hours a day 6 days a week, I doubt his girlfriend has a schedule has busy as that, still my bf found the time to call me 2-3 times a day and spent 3-4 nights a week with me. Where there is a will there is a way. This woman has no will to see OP, she is probably seeing someone else. OP, this relationship is over. She is too coward to break it, do her a favor and do it yourself.
coolheadal Posted June 6, 2018 Posted June 6, 2018 It’s not her working thats the issue, i think it’s unhealthy to speak or see someone maybe 3 hours a week when your in a relationship and the extra hours come from instead of us having one or any days off together we don’t see each other period. To find out if she's not interested in you anymore. Just don't contact her anymore. You have to control your wants for her. To me it sounds like she's just keeping you on a fence. Jump off the fence and stop contacting her. You need to learn the truth. 1
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