life-is-short Posted June 5, 2018 Posted June 5, 2018 We were dating six months long-distance. I won't bore all of you with the details, but she was single mom of two girls (divorced/separated four years ago...before me only dated briefly one person for a couple of months during that time) and she was very busy with school/work. A few days before breakup she said I was amazing man and one she always hoped for...then she wrote me a message a few days later saying she talked to her sister and decided that she wanted me to cancel my trip to see her this week and she was cancelling trip we were taking together in July. I called her and she broke up with me. It didn't make sense really, but oh well. I could guess a million things, but I'm not going to spend my thoughts on that and I'm accepting finality of all this and trying to move on (NC, blocked all social, feeling all my feelings and trying to put one foot in front of the other). I've been sad, angry, confused...whole whirlwind of emotions. I received this message yesterday that seems like breadcrumbs to me (nothing about wanting to get back together) and oddly, she sent it from her work account, not personal account: ---- "You were supposed to be here by now. I'm sorry that you're not. I hope that you have a wonderful time on trip. I'm sorry that I needed to cancel our plans. I was really overwhelmed, and I stretched myself too thin. I'm sorry about that. I don't even know how many days it's been, but it feels like a while." ---- Then she wrote a couple of paragraphs update about her life and life of her two daughters and then finished with this: ---- "It's going to take me a while before I'm capable of investing quality time into a personal relationship. I'm really sorry that I didn't fully understand that before we began a relationship. I wanted to apologize to you for that. I hope that you have a wonderful summer and I wanted to thank you for your time that you had invested." ---- So while her thoughts above may be genuine/authentic, I don't think I should respond. If she wanted me in her life, I could be supportive partner, but she cut me out of her life so why should I respond to this? I think I feel empathy towards her situation, but I also want to be self-protective so my plan is to keep NC. Just would love some reinforcements that I'm making right decision to keep NC. I've been making good progress past week and I don't want to lose it by getting into back/forth with her.
HumanMachine Posted June 5, 2018 Posted June 5, 2018 You aren’t her emotional tampon, she made her bed....
Zahara Posted June 5, 2018 Posted June 5, 2018 (edited) You are wise to self-preserve. You both said your goodbyes when you broke up so there is no need to drag this out. The only one that will be affected by communication is you as she doesn't seem to be that emotionally invested -- so yes, protect yourself. Her message to you is likely out of guilt and her need to preserve her good image. Stay the NC course. Edited June 5, 2018 by Zahara
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