kendahke Posted June 6, 2018 Posted June 6, 2018 FYI, he asked me , are we in a relationship? and I said “ no, I don’t think so. I’m not ready just yet.” So he told me to let him know when I’m ready to be in a relationship. He also asked me out to eat maybe once but I had already eaten..maybe he doesn’t take rejection well. Another time he asked to take me to Dave and buster with his best friend but I was having a really bad day so we went to my place instead. Then he asked me one time if I wanted to go to the movies and I said I had already seen them all. I wasn’t nasty about it but I was just kinda annoyed because I don’t want him to ask me. I just want him to take me and take initiative. I feel like I’ve rejected him a little unintentionally and I’m trying to fix it without seeming too needy..just kinda lost when it comes to actually finding a solution lol If someone repeatedly rejected my invites, no matter what their reasons were, I'd quit putting in effort, too. They sound uninterested, so I'd stop investing. 1
JDJ Posted June 7, 2018 Posted June 7, 2018 I don’t want him to ask me. I just want him to take me and take initiative. Sounds like you want him to kidnap you.
fredflint Posted June 7, 2018 Posted June 7, 2018 (edited) Do you ever take the initiative and take him out without asking him? If not, why not? Just the whole idea of you wanting him to be so different... he's not a take the initiative kind of guy by the sounds of it... doesn't sound to me like you are that compatible? Are you going to grow to resent it? Without even telling him what you need? Edited June 7, 2018 by fredflint 1
girlinNYC Posted June 7, 2018 Posted June 7, 2018 Basically we’ve been talking for almost 3 months. We’ve been to each other’s house. Slept over. Blah blah... I don’t wanna keep doing this and let him be comfortable with just coming over and not taking me out or planning things that don’t need to be pricey or out of the world. I also don’t wanna go over to his and stay over all the time. I can honestly say that I’ve been setting the pace and just taking it slow and casual because I broke up with my ex about 6 months ago and didn’t wanna jump from one relationship to another. So I didn’t mind just chilling and kicking back but at this point I wanna be taken out and made feel a little special : ) How do I get out of this couch dating / Netflix and chill situation? Like when he asks me if I can cook for him and if he can come over to see me.. what do I say without seeming like I’m rude, overthinking it, demanding more, or wanting him to work for me. I dont want him to feel like he has to take me out cause I want him to. I want him to do it on his own. So clearly I have to stop letting him come over and send subtle hints his way. I need overall advice with this situation. How do I convey this without scaring him away or seeming too needy or pushy? I just wanna be myself which is a very chill - never forcing or stressing anything kind of girl. Also he’s 28, he’s not dumb and I think he can really figure it out on his own without me having to ask to be taken out. I wanna avoid having to ask to be taken out...but if communicating that is the best thing than lmk ! I just need some good advice ! What you continue to allow is what he will continue to do while you condone it. Just be straight and tell him what you want, guys respect women who can speak up as it shows standards and self respect. As long as you do it in a classy way he will have no reason to think negatively about it. Good luck.
Malin889 Posted June 12, 2018 Posted June 12, 2018 FYI, he asked me , are we in a relationship? and I said “ no, I don’t think so. I’m not ready just yet.” So he told me to let him know when I’m ready to be in a relationship. He also asked me out to eat maybe once but I had already eaten..maybe he doesn’t take rejection well. Another time he asked to take me to Dave and buster with his best friend but I was having a really bad day so we went to my place instead. Then he asked me one time if I wanted to go to the movies and I said I had already seen them all. I wasn’t nasty about it but I was just kinda annoyed because I don’t want him to ask me. I just want him to take me and take initiative. I feel like I’ve rejected him a little unintentionally and I’m trying to fix it without seeming too needy..just kinda lost when it comes to actually finding a solution lol I don’t understand. He’s asked you out a handful of times and you keep saying no. That’s where the problem lies. Say YES next time. Even if you’ve already eaten, go out for dessert! Or if you’re having a bad day, go out anyway— it might make your day better! 1
heavenonearth Posted June 12, 2018 Posted June 12, 2018 Just tell the man what you want. Clearly he is bad at taking hints. Stop overthinking and being dramatic and just take initiative yourself. It takes a while to be in sync with a person and to be able to finish each other's sentences. You cannot expect this all to be perfect from the very beginning.
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