She’s gone cold/ignored me after we had amazing chemistry.

[Questlove]

Met a new girl a couple of weeks ago. She was out with a group of my friends and we got introduced (never met before but have lots of mutual friends). Instantly hit it off, sparks & chemistry like NOTHING I have ever felt before. Spent the evening together until the sun came up (past 5am), I took her home, kissed, she gave me her number and said she was so happy she met me and we have to do this again.

 

We then messaged hourly/half hourly most days back and forth until 2nd date (5 days later and her suggestion to meet up this soon) chemistry is absolutely 10/10, we can’t keep hands off each other, constantly smiling, flirting, kissing. Attraction is 100% mutual, and seemed genuine happiness together.

 

Here’s some things she has said face to face “you have got the purest and greatest soul I’ve ever met”, “I’m not letting you go anywhere”, “I’m your girl now, you have me”, “I feel like I’ve known you forever” and also something that was half-teasing/half-genuine about “at the ‘wedding’...”

 

I don’t have time for games, and from what I gather neither does she. All the chemistry seemed super genuine, where we both seemed to fall for each other super quick. It seemed pointless to play games or play it cool when the chemistry was just there and it felt so ‘right’. I’ve normally always played it cool but after the way we hit it off it seemed there was no need and just enjoy the mutual attraction.

 

Anyway 4 days ago after another date (had the best evening, she said “thank you for tonight, I always have so much fun with you, let’s go out again on a Wednesday night”). Messaged back and forth the following evening then she just stopped responding. Left her to it as I knew she was at a family gathering.

 

Left it 48 hours and called her. Still no reply. She’s been fairly active on WhatsApp and posting pictures on social media (Facebook & instagram) but my last message she hasn’t ‘read’ on WhatsApp and also ignored my phone call.

 

What is happening? I feel crushed, lost, scared to lose her and a whole other bunch of emotions that I’m struggling to process right now. Everything seemed to be going so well.

 

Should I chase? Run away? It’s been 4 days of no contact from her. Any help appreciated. I’m just so confused and pretty down by this.

Edited June 5, 2018 by Questlove

[geckojohn]

Did you kiss, makeout, how far did you go?

[Questlove]

Did you kiss, makeout, how far did you go?

 

We got to 3rd base.

[Highndry]

Met a new girl a couple of weeks ago.

Here’s some things she has said face to face “you have got the purest and greatest soul I’ve ever met”, “I’m not letting you go anywhere”, “I’m your girl now, you have me”, “I feel like I’ve known you forever” and also something that was half-teasing/half-genuine about “at the ‘wedding’...”

Don't walk, RUN, and while you're running Google "BPD" and "HPD." These are the kind of women you stay away from. There is absolutely nothing natural about those comments.

[ExpatInItaly]

Here’s some things she has said face to face “you have got the purest and greatest soul I’ve ever met”, “I’m not letting you go anywhere”, “I’m your girl now, you have me”, “I feel like I’ve known you forever” and also something that was half-teasing/half-genuine about “at the ‘wedding’...”

 

The above is a big red flag. This girl leads with her emotions and not her head; in other words, she gets carried away with lust. Those types of people are the same types to bounce just as quickly. She isn't genuine if she's saying the above to a guy she's known all of 14 days. I'm sure you're lovely, OP, but you are essentially still strangers to each other.

 

My guess is that you're not the only guy she's been talking to and some other shiny object rolled into her view. She sounds like just the type to be easily distracted and flounce off in another direction.

 

No, do not chase her. She knows you're trying to reach her and she's choosing to ignore you. That should be all you need to know. In the future, don't go after girls who make huge proclamations when they barely know you. It's not a good sign.

[Jasonntot]

Sounds like she's received at least 1 of your messages and has made the choice not to respond. I'd let it go. Sorry, I know it probably sucks, but on the bright side she seemed a little off with those overzealous comments.

[basil67]

Is there anyone who may have badmouthed you to her?

[Questlove]

Don't walk, RUN, and while you're running Google "BPD" and "HPD." These are the kind of women you stay away from. There is absolutely nothing natural about those comments.

 

But if you connect with someone then you connect? Time shouldn’t change that?

[Questlove]

Is there anyone who may have badmouthed you to her?

 

That’s one theory. But how would I work this out when she’s ignored me?

Edited June 5, 2018 by Questlove

[d0nnivain]

But if you connect with someone then you connect? Time shouldn’t change that?

 

 

You miss the point. This silly girl is "in love with love." She THINKS she feels a connect with every new guy she meets. She says stuff like "I'm your girl now" to a lot of guys who think, like you, that they just met their soul mate. Meanwhile she is busy falling in love with the next guy. She's not interested in a relationship. She is interested in that falling in love initial dizzying feeling. She likes "new".

 

This type of girl is kind of like a female player. She'll say anything to get what she wants but doesn't mean any of it.

[stillafool]

Yeah, she's a Player and is on to the next guy. She love bombs men and then puff.

[smackie9]

If the actions don't match the words........