JayHarris Posted June 5, 2018 Posted June 5, 2018 Hi guys. My girlfriend of 7 months just dumped me out of the blue and I am in a world of hurt. I was thinking about proposing to her in a couple of months and had my whole life planned out with her. I know 7 months isn't a lot of time but we spent virtually every day together and had a strong bond. Out of the blue, she told me she had doubts about us and we talked it out and made up. But a week later, she dumped me. She said she has no time to date anyone right now and she doesn't see a long term relationship with me. The only issues she had with me were tiny ones that were easily fixable. I don't get her reasoning. She recovered from cancer just 2 months before we started dating, had to file bankruptcy due to the crazy bills from cancer, and went from full time to part time at her job to pick up classes for nursing school. That is a lot, I get it. If she needs time to heal and recover due what she recently went through and is currently going through, I get it. But to just rule out a future reconnection all together is hurtful. She was psycho about me. If I didn't reply to a text within 3 hours, she'd lose her mind. I'd never been loved so much in my life by anyone and she was my first true relationship. She said we can stay friends but we can't hangout if I show any romantic feelings around her because she doesn't feel comfortable with that She has no issue with my career, she met my parents and they both love each other, she says I am the best guy she's ever been around, so did she end it to be fair to me because she realizes she can't date anyone with her schedule and doesn't want to be rude and have me wait on her? Every article says to go NC and move the heck on, but what if I give her space and hope to reunite in the future? I love this girl so much and would be willing to wait on her. What should I do? This hurts so much. So much.
Author JayHarris Posted June 5, 2018 Author Posted June 5, 2018 You chase they move farter away. Always I'm not planning on blowing up her phone. I want to let her be while she figures out her life and begin contact down the road. I hate dating. I have awful luck with women and she's the only one I have ever enjoyed being around.
fredflint Posted June 5, 2018 Posted June 5, 2018 Hi guys. My girlfriend of 7 months just dumped me out of the blue and I am in a world of hurt. I was thinking about proposing to her in a couple of months and had my whole life planned out with her. I know 7 months isn't a lot of time but we spent virtually every day together and had a strong bond. Out of the blue, she told me she had doubts about us and we talked it out and made up. But a week later, she dumped me. She said she has no time to date anyone right now and she doesn't see a long term relationship with me. The only issues she had with me were tiny ones that were easily fixable. I don't get her reasoning. She recovered from cancer just 2 months before we started dating, had to file bankruptcy due to the crazy bills from cancer, and went from full time to part time at her job to pick up classes for nursing school. That is a lot, I get it. If she needs time to heal and recover due what she recently went through and is currently going through, I get it. But to just rule out a future reconnection all together is hurtful. She was psycho about me. If I didn't reply to a text within 3 hours, she'd lose her mind. I'd never been loved so much in my life by anyone and she was my first true relationship. She said we can stay friends but we can't hangout if I show any romantic feelings around her because she doesn't feel comfortable with that She has no issue with my career, she met my parents and they both love each other, she says I am the best guy she's ever been around, so did she end it to be fair to me because she realizes she can't date anyone with her schedule and doesn't want to be rude and have me wait on her? Every article says to go NC and move the heck on, but what if I give her space and hope to reunite in the future? I love this girl so much and would be willing to wait on her. What should I do? This hurts so much. So much. I'm sorry for your pain. I've been there. The best thing you can do is really not initiate any contact with her. This is your best chance of earning her respect since she has dumped you. Be strong and focus on yourself, self care, exercise. Socialize. Try to forget her. If she comes to miss you she may be back in touch. Then you get to choose. I don't buy her blatant excuse that she has no time. It may be a contributing factor but it's not the real issue. People make time for those that they love. 2
brokenheart901 Posted June 5, 2018 Posted June 5, 2018 This may be due to another person in the picture. Same thing kinda happened to me. Ex was all over me sayin she wants to marry me have kids, 3 days later, she's like "i dont feel the connection with you anymore. Somethings off, my gut is telling mme somethings not right. Im not ready for a relationship rn". Turns out theres someone else in the picture. Go read my post for my situation
HumanMachine Posted June 5, 2018 Posted June 5, 2018 I'm not planning on blowing up her phone. I want to let her be while she figures out her life and begin contact down the road. I hate dating. I have awful luck with women and she's the only one I have ever enjoyed being around. Change your luck then. Rather than investing energy in somebody who doesn’t want you, work on yourself so that you’re more appealing to females. Do not contact this woman.
Highndry Posted June 5, 2018 Posted June 5, 2018 (edited) Shallow, fickle women. You'll be much better off in the long run. A quality woman would never treat you as disposable, and her words and feelings would be true. This woman's actions did not match her words, meaning her words were a load of bologna. While the pain will seem enormous in the beginning, in time you will feel just fine. It's been 8 months since I've seen or talked to my ex, and I feel great these days. In retrospect I'm glad she's gone, because I meet even more attractive and interesting women than she will ever be. The only feelings I have left for her are pity. Edited June 5, 2018 by Highndry
Beachead Posted June 5, 2018 Posted June 5, 2018 (edited) Hi guys. My girlfriend of 7 months just dumped me out of the blue and I am in a world of hurt. I was thinking about proposing to her in a couple of months and had my whole life planned out with her. I know 7 months isn't a lot of time but we spent virtually every day together and had a strong bond. Out of the blue, she told me she had doubts about us and we talked it out and made up. But a week later, she dumped me. She said she has no time to date anyone right now and she doesn't see a long term relationship with me. The only issues she had with me were tiny ones that were easily fixable. I don't get her reasoning. She recovered from cancer just 2 months before we started dating, had to file bankruptcy due to the crazy bills from cancer, and went from full time to part time at her job to pick up classes for nursing school. That is a lot, I get it. If she needs time to heal and recover due what she recently went through and is currently going through, I get it. But to just rule out a future reconnection all together is hurtful. She was psycho about me. If I didn't reply to a text within 3 hours, she'd lose her mind. I'd never been loved so much in my life by anyone and she was my first true relationship. She said we can stay friends but we can't hangout if I show any romantic feelings around her because she doesn't feel comfortable with that She has no issue with my career, she met my parents and they both love each other, she says I am the best guy she's ever been around, so did she end it to be fair to me because she realizes she can't date anyone with her schedule and doesn't want to be rude and have me wait on her? Every article says to go NC and move the heck on, but what if I give her space and hope to reunite in the future? I love this girl so much and would be willing to wait on her. What should I do? This hurts so much. So much. Don't contact her and don't try to be friends. It's disrespect to yourself. The reason you want to do it is more out of attachment and addiction to this person being in your life everyday than it is about love. Can't reverse 7 months of memories like they didn't exist. Her expecting you not to turn off genuine feelings for her an behave as if they never existed is unreasonable and ridiculous. If she doesn't see a longterm relationship with you, it means she'll have one with someone else. Eventually she'll cut you out of her life because you're that ex the current boyfriend won't want her talking to. She'll oblige to his request because she'll be with him and because she'll fall for him. You'll be stuck with residual feelings that you'll pretend won't exist while having no place in her life..long forgotten. It'll hurt you worse by then. Your priority right now is to get your head back on track. She did what was best for her and that's fine. But she doesn't get to choose what parts of you she wants to keep. If she lets you go, she loses all of you and she needs to understand that reality. Have respect for yourself and let her go because she let you go. Pull her of of social media so you don't see updates that hurt you as a start and wish her well because you need time alone to heal. Can't heal while you're in contact with the source of your heartbreak. Only when you genuinely learn to be happy on your own, without her in your life will you be able to face her without any expectations and be a real friend to her. That will take time. - Beach Edited June 5, 2018 by Beachead
littleblackheart Posted June 5, 2018 Posted June 5, 2018 I will be going against the grain (it looks like you've received enough 'bro' support already ) and I will try and see things from her perspective. She is still, for all intents and purposes, in remission. She has gone through a seriously difficult time and is in financial strife; responsibly, she has figured she is not in the best place to be in a relationship right now. This doesn't mean that she is fickle or that someone else is on the scene; she has simply reorganised her priorities after a life-changing event. She has also set up clear boundaries (yes to friendship, no to anything else) so waiting on her clearly is a waste of your time. Breakups are hard, as you have now just experienced. This is your first true relationship so it will probably sting for a while. You'll be fine, eventually.
Author JayHarris Posted June 7, 2018 Author Posted June 7, 2018 Have any of you all dated someone with OCD? My ex had OCD and said it's the biggest reason we didn't workout. She likes routine and everything in perfect order and thought my schedule was way too different from hers and it ate at her. I kind of feel bad. It could be BS but she did mention having OCD all the time when we dated. She cleaned my entire place and would plan out every single day of every month.
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