unevenXchange Posted June 3, 2018 Posted June 3, 2018 Hello all: I'll try being as concise as possible. Started seeing this guy last summer. We do similar work and found out we have mutual associates. Chemistry definitely there. We're both somewhat reserved to a certain extent. However, I feel like I'm a bit more free spirited & outgoing. I have no kids. He does. So our responsibilities are different, (for whatever that's worth.) Anyhoo, ever since we met I feel like he's almost in competition with me to some extent. ---on at LEAST 3 occasions--- I went on trips; some business some leisure. Each of these times, he would tell me that he was going to the exact same place as soon as i got back...this is no exaggeration. I kept saying to myself, "ooookaayyyy? Weird". To him I'd be like," oh really?! Ok well enjoy! That's pretty ironic." While I was on the trips I felt like he was trying to elicit responses from me by repeated text messages saying stuff like, e.g. "Enjoy Arizona...enjoy China...enjoy Miami.... hope you're having a good time." Even when I'd say THANKS! He'd text the same thing again the next day. Recently I moved away about 6 hours away. So whereas before we'd be able to see one another within 20 mins, now it's definitely less and yes we miss each other but I also feel like it's inevitable that we're going to start seeing other people. I don't think I'm as detailed in my responses to him about my day to day life, as much as he'd like. So occasionally he'll tell me what bothers him or he'll explain what he wants/means in some of his communication. I'm always a bit aloof or surprised by his clarifications. Last weekend we saw each other. He mentioned to me as he has before that I seem to always RUSH AWAY(saw him one day). When I was living closer I'd leave as soon as I'd wake up and shower. I don't like to "linger"... it's just me and it makes me feel anxious. So I told him I just didn't want to crowd him and he keeps saying "you're not crowding me" but at the same time, in these moments he doesn't speak up and tell me to STAY. It's kind of draining being that we're grown adults and I beating around the bush/ saying stuff after the fact is so Silly to me. Maybe I'm silly...? I don't know... Any insight is appreciated. Thanks all.
Ruserious Posted June 3, 2018 Posted June 3, 2018 Breathe... Communication glitches are common in relationships, from what I experience. However, it's how you choose to get clarifying answers that matters. If either of you want things to work, adjust accordingly. He sounds a bit insecure in trying to "compete" or ONE-up you, regarding the trips. That's really bizarre.
Author unevenXchange Posted June 4, 2018 Author Posted June 4, 2018 Thanks for the response! Makes sense. And I agree about it being a bit bizarre . Yep. Thing is, I really do like and care for him. Just not sure if I should be more forthright about my feelings or just remain the same... How has anyone else handled similar situations?
Recommended Posts