Not sure if I'm being ghosted or if something bad happened while she was in Mexico?

June 2, 2018

I honestly don't know if I'm being ghosted or something bad happened to her in Mexico. Either way, it's obviously out of my control, but I'm here to share and maybe get constructive feedback?

TL;DR:

I went out with a girl, who for 10 weeks displayed mature, intentional, considerate and transparent communication. We're both in our mid-30's. She's a shy, introverted type (librarian, writer) with no car and new to online dating. She goes to bed early and hobbies include board games and volunteering at the library. She seems mature but inexperienced at dating and doesn't seem to be a wild one playing the field. She extended our last date twice, expressed desire to connect again, AND followed up after the date. She left town for about 2 weeks after we went out. Mid-way through her being out of town we both reiterated our desire to connect again. After she presumably got back from Mexico last Monday, I've reached out twice (Tuesday and Friday afternoon) and haven't heard anything.

Again, she's been a mature communicator for almost 3 months so I'm honestly not sure if I'm being ghosted or if something bad happened. We have no social media connections so I can't check for activity there. All of her communication patterns suggest that even if for whatever reason she didn't want to go out again, she would be considerate enough to simply send a quick note saying so. Should I follow up again? If so, when and how? Any other thoughts? Thanks in advance.

Detailed Version...

Me: 34yo

Her: 34 yo

We matched on Tinder in mid-March. I was getting ready to take off for 7 weeks of work and gave her a heads up. She still wanted to meet up. The day of the date she had to cancel because her best friend's husband walked out on her best friend that morning and her best friend was temporarily moving in with her. I know this because she sent me a two paragraph apology/explanation, etc. I said no problem, respect for being a great friend, here's my number if you want to stay in touch. She texted immediately and expressed a desire to either meet up before I left or connect when I got back.

I honestly didn't expect to stay in touch, but a couple weeks later I saw something that reminded me of our digital banter and texted her. She responded thoroughly and in an engaging way. Over the next 6 weeks we stayed lightly in touch - texting each other about every 5 or 6 days. I initiated about 60% of the time, she initiated 40% of the time. We'd have a 5 or 6 text witty, fun exchange and let it be.

I got back to town and we set up a date that week. The date went great! We both seemed to be vibing and she extended the date twice, asking if I'd like to go get dinner, and if I'd like to go get a drink. Throughout the date and our entire course of communication over almost 3 months, she was intentional, considerate, and engaged - all of her conversation seemed to be angled toward determine longer term compatibility. At the end of the date she suggested what we should do on our second date and then caught herself and asked, "Wait, do you want to hang out with me again?". She texted me first after the date thanking me, reminding me I had homework before we saw each other again, thanking me for a great time and said I'll talk to you soon.

I knew well in advance that after our first date, she would be out of town for almost two weeks with a small break in between. I texted her on the small break in between and she again expressed excitement/intention to connect when she returned from her 5 day solo trip to Mexico.

So, I'm baffled because she got back on Monday the 28th. I texted her the afternoon of Tuesday the 29th and never heard anything. At the advice of a female friend who suggested she may have had her phone stolen/lost in Mexico, I followed up yesterday evening (Friday the 1st). Still no response.

At this point I'm experienced enough in the online dating world to recognize a ghosting when it happens, however ****ty it may be. But my gut isn't really sure on this one.

Here's why I'm not so sure I'm being ghosted.

Unless she's a really good liar, all these things happened and I believe them to be true. My instincts are semi-seasoned at this point...

- Throughout the almost 3 months we've been in contact, she's been thorough, intentional, and considerate with all of her communication. Honestly, almost to the point of oversharing. If she didn't respond to a text within 4 hours (only happened twice), she would provide an (unnecessary explanation).

- She's never used online dating before and I didn't pick up on a play the field vibe. She actually is an introverted librarian type who doesn't have a car so it'd be hard enough for her to play the field. And her extracurriculars include board games and volunteering at the library. In other words, not striking me as the wildin out type unless she's a great fake which is also possible.

- She's not just out of a breakup. Don't think there are any major post-breakup freakouts happening.

- She casually referenced not using Tinder while I was away and deleted her Tinder account the day I got back and we scheduled a date. A bit too much if you ask me, but sort of fits w my gut feel that she's not the play the field type.

- Any time she was buried in work or had something going on in her life that would affect the quality of her text response or ability to meet up, she was considerate, responsive and thorough with alternative dates/suggestions.

- She was transparent to the point of oversharing. Once, she typed to me that she had typed me 5 responses to a text, felt self-conscious about all of them and then eventually just laughed about it and sent one.

In short, I sense that if she lost interest or was in a bad place in life or met someone else, she'd send me SOMETHING. All of her communication over almost 3 months has been mature, thorough, considerate, transparent, and intentional. She extended our date twice, followed up first afterwards, and reiterated her desire to connect again a week later. She's almost been an overcommunicator for almost 3 months so a precedent seems to have been set if that makes sense? Even if she met a dude in Mexico, I get the sense that she'd be considerate enough to send me a quick, "Mexico was great! I'm pursuing something else. Best of luck" and it'd be no big deal. The not knowing part is so weird, right?

Any pragmatic advice beyond standard cliches?

I can't find her on any social media but Facebook and it reveals nothing in terms of signs of activity. I honestly don't know if she's safe after a solo trip to Mexico or if I'm being ghosted and not sure best way to deal here.

Edited June 2, 2018 by RoosterFrame
brevity

June 3, 2018

Call her to see if she answers or her voice mail works. If getting VM leave a brief cheerful message. Let it go at that.

This interaction outlines the importance of early and consistent face-to-face interaction. If I read right, there's nearly three months of contact and one date. IMO, work to improve that. I'm no roadrunner but the lady who later became my wife and I were already on ILY's, monogamy and sex at that point. The only people who pushed things out that far with little personal contact were women who turned out to be married. They were after the contact and attention, not pressing flesh.

June 3, 2018

She might have extended her vacation. But I agree with Carhill. Sounds like your expectations are higher than they should be after what is, after all, only one date. You said she's immature at dating, so maybe she isn't ready and really has just ghosted you. I did that to someone when I was 17. I realized I wasn't ready for hot and heavy.

June 3, 2018

I really don't know what to think or what the situation is, but your relationship thus far has been a lot of absence. You started out being completely unavailable for 7 weeks, then she was unavailable for 2 weeks, and it's normal that the two of you touch base maybe once a week or so, through text and not necessarily face-to-face. I don't know if you're jumping the gun expecting something different right now. It feels like you've kind of set the tone on availability, and now, suddenly, you're available and you expect her to drop everything as a result and make you top priority when the normal protocol is to touch base about once a week.

Maybe she met someone else, maybe she's not interested in you enough to contact you straight away, maybe she'll get around to you a week or so from now as the protocol has been established, and maybe she's not all that into you. All you can do is extend yourself for some conversation and arrange a date. Hopefully she'll respond, and hopefully your schedules mesh better.

June 3, 2018

As innocent as she is, she was on Tinder.

No matter how people twist it, no matter how many people say that they are looking for "something real," the absolute reality of Tinder is that it's a hookup app.

With THAT being said, she isn't as innocent as she says she is. I know "innocent" girls that made a Tinder and got off it after one day because they found it "scary" or they found it "intimidating."

In other words, your girl PROBABLY has more of a wild side than you realize, and you don't know her well enough to say otherwise.

For whatever reason, be it that she isn't into you anymore, or she found a brown Adonis in Mexico so she extended her stay, I'd assume that it's absolutely dead. Assume so until she sends YOU a message explaining her whereabouts and SHE plans the next date.

June 3, 2018

Call her to see if she answers or her voice mail works. If getting VM leave a brief cheerful message. Let it go at that.

This interaction outlines the importance of early and consistent face-to-face interaction. If I read right, there's nearly three months of contact and one date. IMO, work to improve that. I'm no roadrunner but the lady who later became my wife and I were already on ILY's, monogamy and sex at that point. The only people who pushed things out that far with little personal contact were women who turned out to be married. They were after the contact and attention, not pressing flesh.

I agree. I would at least try to put my mind at ease that she's physically alright. It's possible that she had a mishap or lost her phone. It happens. She might also have decided to stay longer, as another poster suggested.

The more probably explanation is that she is ghosting you. You said she is inexperienced at dating, so it wouldn't be totally unrealistic for her to not know how to be honest about her feelings and just tell you directly that this isn't working for her.

June 3, 2018

Yes, you should try calling and see if she answers. If not leave a voice message.

But if there is no reply then I recommend that you move on.

June 3, 2018

Based on what you're saying about her communications, it doesn't sound like ghosting at all - I don't think that happens after you talk to somebody so much. Definitely do call her, if nothing more, just to check if she's alright.

Having said that, since you meet so rarely, there are a lot of things that can happen over 3 months - including that she might have met somebody. If she's been honest in her communications to date she will tell it to you straight, not ghost you - so there is probably something else and you should try to reach out to see what's up. If it was me, I would call her, if she didn't pick up I would text her and if there was no reply again, I would try calling after 3 days again. After that I would just stop communications until I hear back - you can't really help her if you don't know much about her whereabouts and if she came back.

One general piece of advice - if you haven't seen somebody for a while, always call, never text.

June 3, 2018

All good thoughts. Thanks for sharing.

I phoned her today from my work phone and her phone rang a few times and her voicemail was full and can't accept messages.

For those that think I'm expecting a lot, I definitely don't view it as a relationship. I do expect some type of response because she's just shown that she's a mature communicator and would seemingly just tell me or at least provide a brief courtesy response so I'd get the hint. A girl I have high interest in yes, but the expectations have been relatively low. I don't mind if she is dating another guy(s). I'm seeing another girl too.

She's had some legit weird stuff happen. The first two times we couldn't meet up before I took off for work, her best friend's husband asked for a divorce that day and her BF moved in with her, and the second time, a bomb (Austin serial bomber) went off near her house and the neighborhood was quarantined with no one allowed in or out. These things actually happened. Hence, my curiosity about Mexico. She's demonstrated the ability during insanity like that to say "I can't make it because XYZ but I am available XYZ". She's been apologetic when she couldn't meet even though she didn't need to be.

My primary point is, she's established a precedent of being transparent, considerate, and intentional with all of her communication even with the "I can't do that's". Yes it's been casual, but it's also been mature and respectful. She also extended our date twice, asked for another date, followed up after our date, and then reaffirmed interest a week later.

If she was seeing another guy, it seems weird that'd she'd want to extend our date twice, ask to see me again and then catch herself and say, "wait, do you want to see me again?", then follow-up and re-affirm twice. Two days after our date she left for mini-vacay in Colorado came back to town for 2 days, confirm via text she wanted to see me when she got back from Mexico (and say she got a magnet for me from Colorado?).

See my confusion/curiosity?

I do tend to lean toward maybe something happened and she either lost interest or had some health issues (she's casually mentioned a few things that had me curious about her health status) and now she doesn't know how to back out so just decided to ghost. Even if she decided to extend her trip, she's been thoroughly communicative up to this point and I'd think she'd shoot me a quick text.

She doesn't recognize my work phone number, so I'll probably phone her from my phone later this week or shoot a text. I'm honestly just curious to know that she's alright. The one time having a social media connection would actually be a positive!

June 3, 2018

All good thoughts. Thanks for sharing.

I phoned her today from my work phone and her phone rang a few times and her voicemail was full and can't accept messages.

For those that think I'm expecting a lot, I definitely don't view it as a relationship. I do expect some type of response because she's just shown that she's a mature communicator and would seemingly just tell me or at least provide a brief courtesy response so I'd get the hint. A girl I have high interest in yes, but the expectations have been relatively low. I don't mind if she is dating another guy(s). I'm seeing another girl too.

She's had some legit weird stuff happen. The first two times we couldn't meet up before I took off for work, her best friend's husband asked for a divorce that day and her BF moved in with her, and the second time, a bomb (Austin serial bomber) went off near her house and the neighborhood was quarantined with no one allowed in or out. These things actually happened. Hence, my curiosity about Mexico. She's demonstrated the ability during insanity like that to say "I can't make it because XYZ but I am available XYZ". She's been apologetic when she couldn't meet even though she didn't need to be.

My primary point is, she's established a precedent of being transparent, considerate, and intentional with all of her communication even with the "I can't do that's". Yes it's been casual, but it's also been mature and respectful. She also extended our date twice, asked for another date, followed up after our date, and then reaffirmed interest a week later.

If she was seeing another guy, it seems weird that'd she'd want to extend our date twice, ask to see me again and then catch herself and say, "wait, do you want to see me again?", then follow-up and re-affirm twice. Two days after our date she left for mini-vacay in Colorado came back to town for 2 days, confirm via text she wanted to see me when she got back from Mexico (and say she got a magnet for me from Colorado?).

See my confusion/curiosity?

I do tend to lean toward maybe something happened and she either lost interest or had some health issues (she's casually mentioned a few things that had me curious about her health status) and now she doesn't know how to back out so just decided to ghost. Even if she decided to extend her trip, she's been thoroughly communicative up to this point and I'd think she'd shoot me a quick text.

She doesn't recognize my work phone number, so I'll probably phone her from my phone later this week or shoot a text. I'm honestly just curious to know that she's alright. The one time having a social media connection would actually be a positive!

This is bizarre but a crucial detail. Anyway it sounds that you aren't the only one she lost touch with. Maybe something happened to her phone?

Are you sure she is back home yet?

Edited June 3, 2018 by Imajerk17

June 3, 2018

Agreed.

Not sure that she's back home and have no way of knowing because we don't have mutual friends and aren't connected on social media.

Weeks before I got back from my work on the road, she explicitly told me she'd be mostly out of town between May 16-28. Also, in person she gave me the exact dates she'd be in Colorado and in Mexico. Between her trips to Colorado and Mexico she affirmed that she was "excited to connect next week" (now last week) and that she had gotten me a magnet from Colorado.

So yeah, she could've met a dude in Mexico and/or extended her trip and just said f*ck it. Of course that's possible. Given her track record of good communication + follow-ups with me, it seems a little off that she wouldn't at least send a brief courtesy heads up. Fairly certain reception works in Mexico, esp. since the iMessages say delivered and the phone rang. It is a little weird that her voicemail is full if she's supposedly been back for a week.

Edited June 3, 2018 by RoosterFrame

June 3, 2018

Agreed.

Not sure that she's back home and have no way of knowing because we don't have mutual friends and aren't connected on social media.

Weeks before I got back from my work on the road, she explicitly told me she was hoping I'd be back before she was out of town May 16-28. Also, in person she gave me the exact dates she'd be in Colorado and in Mexico. Between her trips to Colorado and Mexico she affirmed that she was "excited to connect next week" (now last week) and that she had gotten me a magnet from Colorado.

So yeah, she could've met a dude in Mexico and/or extended her trip and just said f*ck it. Of course that's possible and within reason. Given her track record of good communication + follow-ups with me, it seems a little off that she wouldn't at least send a brief courtesy heads up. Fairly certain reception works in Mexico, esp. since the iMessages say delivered and the phone rang. It is a little weird that her voicemail is full if she's supposedly been back for a week.

Tinder women can't be trusted. Open relationship, casual sex. This girl is having the time of her life. What are you doing? Waiting for her to text or call you back to say she can't wait to be with you. Yet her mail box is full! So take a number now I am sure she has a lot of dates said the same to all the other guys. She's in Mexico have her fun and making that love connection as well with all those Latin lovers down there too..

You need to drop and look for something other than her as you can't just wait on her. Tinder woman are not relationship women. If that's what you seek then get on the ball and find someone else and don't start using Tinder to do that.. You'll never learn will you..

Stop wasting your life and get out there have fun as well!

June 3, 2018

Tinder women can't be trusted. Open relationship, casual sex. This girl is having the time of her life. What are you doing? Waiting for her to text or call you back to say she can't wait to be with you. Yet her mail box is full! So take a number now I am sure she has a lot of dates said the same to all the other guys. She's in Mexico have her fun and making that love connection as well with all those Latin lovers down there too..

You need to drop and look for something other than her as you can't just wait on her. Tinder woman are not relationship women. If that's what you seek then get on the ball and find someone else and don't start using Tinder to do that.. You'll never learn will you..

I think that's a cynical perspective. Two of my closest friends have met their long-term partners on Tinder and are in happily monogamous relationships.

You may have also missed the part where I said I've been seeing another girl as well and where I said I don't care if she's seeing another guy. I don't care if she was having sex there because I'm having sex here. We're not at that point yet.

The point of my post is that the girl has been a great communicator for almost 3 months, my gut didn't give me any bad vibes about her, she expressed repeated desire to connect when she returned from Mexico, she went to Mexico alone, and I haven't heard a peep from over a week since she was supposed to be back and her voicemail is full and can't take messages.

It's good to hear everyone's perspectives. Thanks for sharing yours.

June 3, 2018

Tinder women can't be trusted. Open relationship, casual sex. This girl is having the time of her life. What are you doing? Waiting for her to text or call you back to say she can't wait to be with you. Yet her mail box is full! So take a number now I am sure she has a lot of dates said the same to all the other guys. She's in Mexico have her fun and making that love connection as well with all those Latin lovers down there too..

You need to drop and look for something other than her as you can't just wait on her. Tinder woman are not relationship women. If that's what you seek then get on the ball and find someone else and don't start using Tinder to do that.. You'll never learn will you..

Stop wasting your life and get out there have fun as well!

I met my boyfriend on tinder and i know plenty of people who have met their long term partners on tinder. It’s not just a hook up site, many people use it to genuinely get to know someone.

Edited June 4, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

June 3, 2018

You may have also missed the part where I said I've been seeing another girl as well and where I said I don't care if she's seeing another guy. I don't care if she was having sex there because I'm having sex here. We're not at that point yet.

.

You are sleeping with other women?

Well... she can’t be the woman of your dreams then. Why are you worrying so much about if or if not she ghosted you?

When i met my boyfriend i knew very quickly that i didn’t want to be intimate with anyone else anymore, and the same goes for him.

June 3, 2018

You are sleeping with other women?
Well... she can’t be the woman of your dreams then. Why are you worrying so much about if or if not she ghosted you?

When i met my boyfriend i knew very quickly that i didn’t want to be intimate with anyone else anymore, and the same goes for him.

Fair point. For the sake of brevity, I didn't elaborate on my other sex. I slept with one woman after a lot of radio silence. Had things or if things progress with girl I am posting about, I'm confident I wouldn't want to see another woman. In the meantime, I can't hold out. Hope that makes sense.

I'm curious if she ghosted me because I liked her a lot and want to see her again and she said the same. She also went to Mexico alone and hasn't been responsive for the first time in 10 weeks. So yeah, that's both weird and has a me a little curious/concerned.

June 4, 2018

Fair point. For the sake of brevity, I didn't elaborate on my other sex. I slept with one woman after a lot of radio silence. Had things or if things progress with girl I am posting about, I'm confident I wouldn't want to see another woman. In the meantime, I can't hold out. Hope that makes sense.

I'm curious if she ghosted me because I liked her a lot and want to see her again and she said the same. She also went to Mexico alone and hasn't been responsive for the first time in 10 weeks. So yeah, that's both weird and has a me a little curious/concerned.

When my boyfriend and i met, i told him to keep seeing other people. He had just gotten out of a 15 year relationship 6 months prior to us meeting. So i wanted him to be 100% sure that he wants me and only me.

He did as i said and went on a date. Made out with the woman and when she wanted sex he couldn’t do it.

He came to my house afterwards and told me “look it doesn’t work. I don’t want to be intimate with anyone but you. I don’t want to date anyone but you. I am crazy about you”.

The other guy i was dating at the same time was history to me very quickly too.

I only wanted my boyfriend.

And this was us after our third date.

I just think it’s so weird how people keep sleeping with other people when they supposedly are head over heels for someone else. It makes me doubt their true feelings. Because i would feel like crap if i slept with someone else beside the guy i want to be with. I would feel guilty.

So i just think, my observation, this woman is not the love of your life.

That being said, maybe something bad happened to her. Such as an accident.

I feel it is more likely than her ghosting.

But then again... why do you care!?

Maybe you just hate being ghosted.

June 4, 2018

This is bizarre but a crucial detail. Anyway it sounds that you aren't the only one she lost touch with. Maybe something happened to her phone?

Are you sure she is back home yet?

Yea, this is very bizarre. I'm never one to think anyone is doing anything BUT ghosting, because it's so typical, but sh*t. A full box of VMs? Kinda weird.

June 4, 2018

I think that's a cynical perspective. Two of my closest friends have met their long-term partners on Tinder and are in happily monogamous relationships.

You may have also missed the part where I said I've been seeing another girl as well and where I said I don't care if she's seeing another guy. I don't care if she was having sex there because I'm having sex here. We're not at that point yet.

The point of my post is that the girl has been a great communicator for almost 3 months, my gut didn't give me any bad vibes about her, she expressed repeated desire to connect when she returned from Mexico, she went to Mexico alone, and I haven't heard a peep from over a week since she was supposed to be back and her voicemail is full and can't take messages.

It's good to hear everyone's perspectives. Thanks for sharing yours.

I was a player myself so I know what I am talking about but I not a player again. I know it's best to date the one you want but today everyone has more than one partner. Tinder sounds what you want so you know what your in for already. Buggle and Yo Cutie are the other popular apps. I am sure you have friends that like this type of lifestyle. But you came here with issue what she's doing in Mexico why isn't she returning your text or calls. Mail box is full an etc.. You know what's going on already, just unsure what to think. You take chances and risk and we all been their and done that well speak from a guy point of view. Like my friend told me his wife gone to Mexico and came back different. And he knew she was with another man. Do I need to say more?

June 4, 2018

I was a player myself so I know what I am talking about but I not a player again. I know it's best to date the one you want but today everyone has more than one partner. Tinder sounds what you want so you know what your in for already. Buggle and Yo Cutie are the other popular apps. I am sure you have friends that like this type of lifestyle. But you came here with issue what she's doing in Mexico why isn't she returning your text or calls. Mail box is full an etc.. You know what's going on already, just unsure what to think. You take chances and risk and we all been their and done that well speak from a guy point of view. Like my friend told me his wife gone to Mexico and came back different. And he knew she was with another man. Do I need to say more?

I'm not sure that what you're saying right now makes any sense, so probably not.

I also have had plenty of people I know meet great people on Tinder, and get married. I, myself, have met some amazing people on Tinder. Stop generalizing an entire app. Of course the majority of people on there aren't great, but please don't act like it's impossible to meet real people of substance. It's not.

It's also not normal for someone's mailbox to be full. It certainly doesn't mean she's a player and her VM is overloaded with men ... um what? Don't you think if that were the case, she'd clear it out so that more could come in? Like, what? Who lets their mailbox get full? Someone who for some reason doesn't have access to their phone ...

Edited June 4, 2018 by DontBreakEven

June 4, 2018

If the OP never called the lady before and/or got her VM, he'd have no frame of reference for it being full. It's possible it's always full or most always full and this is normal. My best friend's wife is like that and is merely absent-minded about her voice mail. Nothing sinister.

IMO, you (OP) tried. You texted and called. Let it go. Apparently you're having relations with another woman so progress that and approach other ladies you find attractive. If this one gets back in touch, deal with it then.

June 4, 2018

I have my VM on my smartphone turned off because I get constant spam calls and don't want to have to delete them. I think a lot of people do that. Or just never check VM because they know it's all spam calls.

June 4, 2018

I have 212 unlistened to voicemails on my smartphone right now and still receive voicemails.

But yeah. Odds are, she probably lost interest and is ghosting me and doesn't know how to tell me because she's not sure how. I didn't want it to be true because I really liked her. it also makes me question my own instincts, but this is life and it's savage and I lost this one and must move on. Thanks for the perspectives everyone. In the end, I'm glad we could all collectively solve the mystery and she's not being held by the Mexican cartel. Everyone have a shot of mezcal to celebrate one less drug related murder.

Also, @coolheadal, it would suck to go through life as you.

June 4, 2018

Here's a crazy update.

Finally heard from her this morning.

She said she was upset that I didn't contact her sooner between her trips so she assumed I had broken up with her so she got involved with a 57 year old wealthy Mexican man. He took her fishing and swimming in the ocean and while swimming she lost her left foot from a shark attack. She just got back to the US for medical care. I would call BS except that she sent me a photo of her with no foot and asked if I could bring her some Rose' wine to her house and potentially meet her parents.

So yeah. Sometimes crazy things happen. WTF.

June 4, 2018

Here's a crazy update.

Finally heard from her this morning.

She said she was upset that I didn't contact her sooner between her trips so she assumed I had broken up with her so she got involved with a 57 year old wealthy Mexican man. He took her fishing and swimming in the ocean and while swimming she lost her left foot from a shark attack. She just got back to the US for medical care. I would call BS except that she sent me a photo of her with no foot and asked if I could bring her some Rose' wine to her house and potentially meet her parents.

So yeah. Sometimes crazy things happen. WTF.

Pardon me? I hope you said no to that. She went from assuming you didn't want to date her anymore (with apparently no confirmation of that) and went off to see another man in Mexico. Now she wants you to bring wine to her and meet her parents?

I would wish her well on her healing and move on.

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Not sure if I'm being ghosted or if something bad happened while she was in Mexico?

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