tinytim22 Posted June 1, 2018 Posted June 1, 2018 I just broke up with my girlfriend. Things were rocky so we had an open and honest conversation where we agreed that we should have some space from each other for a couple of weeks. My birthday was the same week and she chose not to come to it. I felt let down by this but I decided to let it be for the greater good of creating space to miss each other. After that she started doing lots of silly and immature things like blocking me on social media and posting silly passive aggressive facebook statuses about her ex boyfriend, all of which I ignored, although it did frustrate me. When we finally did speak she suggested meeting on the weekend, and I said I'd get back to her about whether or not I was available, which I did later in the day. She didn't respond for two days which frustrated me further. I didn't rise to it and replied with a more specific plan, which she didn't confirm at all. By the night before we were due to meet she still hadn't replied, and the frustration of all of this stuff just got too much for me, and I sent her a message to say that I would take a rain check if she was going to play silly games by taking two days to reply, which, under the circumstances, I didn't appreciate. She insisted it was a misunderstanding and she didn't think I wanted confirmation (which I could have believed if it was this one incident in isolation, but it wasn't). She then called me very angrily and broke up with me over the phone. Was I in the wrong here? did I act in a childish way or did I have a right to feel indignant at the way I felt she was treating me? I guess I just felt I would be letting myself down if I rewarded this kind of childish behaviour with my time. What do y'all think?
PegNosePete Posted June 1, 2018 Posted June 1, 2018 You have a "right" to feel however you want. She acted immature and the relationship ended. Could it have continued if you'd handled it differently? Maybe, but given her clearly not-interested attitude I don't see it lasting long anyway.
ItIsNotMe Posted June 1, 2018 Posted June 1, 2018 Let her go. If she did love you, she would insist to break the pause and see you for your birthday. 1
Author tinytim22 Posted June 1, 2018 Author Posted June 1, 2018 Yeah, I mean these weren't the only things, there were other incidences of silly behaviour that I had ignored/not risen to before this. I wouldn't say I reeeeeally wanted it to continue given that, but I guess what I want to know is, from a third party perspective, was my behaviour also childish, or understandable? I have to see her to tomorrow to get some stuff and I think a talk is inevitible, I just wana know if I should stand by my decision to do that or make a concession. My gut tells me that I was right to stick up for myself given her poor treatment of me.
PegNosePete Posted June 1, 2018 Posted June 1, 2018 what I want to know is, from a third party perspective, was my behaviour also childish, or understandable? A bit of both. You could've handled it more maturely but given her attitude and actions what you did was understandable. I don't think handling it better would have helped, though; just ended it sooner. a talk is inevitible, I just wana know if I should stand by my decision Yes you should definitely stand by your decision. A talk is only inevitable if you let it happen. Best to just grab your stuff and go. If she tries to start a talk just say you're not interested and have other things to do so you want to get your stuff and go.
Author tinytim22 Posted June 5, 2018 Author Posted June 5, 2018 Out of interest then what would have been a better way to handle it? I felt like by ignoring it, I'd be allowing it. To be honest I felt totally disrespected by it and rightly so. I just wasn't prepared to tolerate it so wasn't sure how to go about it. I did say to her if she can understand then yeah, I'd still meet her.
ItsJustMyOpinion Posted June 5, 2018 Posted June 5, 2018 Dude, just find someone else. She clearly isn't all that interested to begin with. You can't magically make her more interested, but you CAN go a find another woman who is in the position to actually BE interested.
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