lana-banana Posted June 2, 2018 Posted June 2, 2018 Before my husband and I were married, we did a lot of foreign travel for work. If you have more than a 3 hour time difference and if you've been in a foreign climate, the only thing you want is sleep. I would recommend waiting at least a day before doing anything fancy, or any big meals. (If it's exotic enough, he might want to wait a while before eating a lot. The first few days I was back from the Arabian peninsula I just ate protein bars. It was a while before I could stomach American food again.) I agree that rose petals are not a good idea for one's home. They are messy and tiresome. Save those for hotel trips. 1
Author heavenonearth Posted June 2, 2018 Author Posted June 2, 2018 Before my husband and I were married, we did a lot of foreign travel for work. If you have more than a 3 hour time difference and if you've been in a foreign climate, the only thing you want is sleep. I would recommend waiting at least a day before doing anything fancy, or any big meals. (If it's exotic enough, he might want to wait a while before eating a lot. The first few days I was back from the Arabian peninsula I just ate protein bars. It was a while before I could stomach American food again.) I agree that rose petals are not a good idea for one's home. They are messy and tiresome. Save those for hotel trips. Well, he won’t sleep when he comes home because it would mess up his sleep schedule. So he arrived at 7am from an overnight flight, on which he will sleep. And then will spend the day with me just like we always do. We have planned this for a while already. The idea is to also go to the bar where we had outlet first date. The only thing i haven’t perfected yet is the surprise that will be waiting for him.
Author heavenonearth Posted June 2, 2018 Author Posted June 2, 2018 Maybe wait a day or so so that he will be recovered from the trip. Then it will really be a surprise. Ha ha ha … Bake a cake for him. Make sure it's his favorite cake with frosting. Well if i wait, it will ruin our plans. since the say he returns is the day of our anniversary and he booked his return flight so he would be here for our special day.
Gaeta Posted June 2, 2018 Posted June 2, 2018 Well, he won’t sleep when he comes home because it would mess up his sleep schedule. So he arrived at 7am from an overnight flight, on which he will sleep. And then will spend the day with me just like we always do. We have planned this for a while already. The idea is to also go to the bar where we had outlet first date. The only thing i haven’t perfected yet is the surprise that will be waiting for him. I am afraid you will end up disappointed because you have too much expectations for the day he returns. Your bf is not 20 anymore and he'll need more time to recuperate than you would need. He may not have the energy to make it to that bar on the day he returns. It's not a big deal just go the following day. It sounds very very important for you to celebrate on the very same day you met. In the big picture it's not important, what's important is you will be together. 2
greymatter Posted June 2, 2018 Posted June 2, 2018 I'm afraid you may be disappointed as well, only because I'm wondering after reading all of your posts what expectations you have for his response. Unless cake were someone's favorite thing on earth, while it's a nice idea, I'm not sure I understand how it's meaningful to your relationship. Based on what you mentioned about what you think is important to him, seems like you believe quality time is important. To me, in that context, the plans should involve something that is 1) meaningful specifically to your relationship and is connected to what you love to do together (is eating that?) and 2) since you said quality time is highly important to him, seems like planning an experience together might be meaningful, depending on what you both enjoy (going to hear music, visiting a museum or art gallery, taking a hike, etc.) What is it that binds the two of you together?? What would be meaningful and special for the two of you? If he cooks all of the time and is good at it, I'm just wondering what the significance is of you cooking a meal/baking a cake is and would he find that special i.e. romantic, especially when he is tired, jet lagged, etc.?
BaileyB Posted June 3, 2018 Posted June 3, 2018 Having flown overseas several times myself, I will say that when I get home all I want to do is shower, eat, and sleep. If I’m trying to make it through the day, I’m ready for bed at 6pm - not particularly functional in the evening for several days... Like the other posters, I would suggest that you try to keep your expectations low so that you won’t be disappointed. I would just be glad to have him home on a special day. And, I would want to save the “celebration” for a night that I knew he would be well rested and ready to enjoy a wonderful evening. 3
Els Posted June 3, 2018 Posted June 3, 2018 (edited) Please go into this with zero expectations of anything, especially given that this is a "dating" anniversary (which not everyone celebrates) AND he might be incredibly exhausted and jetlagged. Not everyone is able to sleep on a flight, especially if you are flying economy - screaming babies and lots of people wandering down the aisle, and virtually no legroom whatsoever tends to have that effect. Whatever you decide to give, only do so if you are going to be OK with a potentially lacklustre response. So if you really want to bake a cake, I don't see why not, just don't get upset if he doesn't stay up eating cake and complimenting you for baking it. That being said, I can't speak for your bf, but I've always found that massages are well-received even if (or especially if) the recipient is tired. No, not a professional massage, YOU massaging him. Just be okay with it if he falls asleep halfway through, which a good massage is wont to do if the person is exhausted. Edited June 3, 2018 by Elswyth 1
preraph Posted June 3, 2018 Posted June 3, 2018 I used to get so jet-lagged just from flying from Texas to LA or the reverse that I'd have to pass on really amazing exciting meetups or events because of it. Stuff I was highly motivated to do. It just wouldn't matter if it was the thing I wanted to do the most, I was too exhausted to even think straight. Maybe he's a better traveler than I am. I assume you have seen him right after a return from a trip before and know better than us.
Author heavenonearth Posted June 3, 2018 Author Posted June 3, 2018 Please go into this with zero expectations of anything, especially given that this is a "dating" anniversary (which not everyone celebrates) AND he might be incredibly exhausted and jetlagged. Not everyone is able to sleep on a flight, especially if you are flying economy - screaming babies and lots of people wandering down the aisle, and virtually no legroom whatsoever tends to have that effect. Whatever you decide to give, only do so if you are going to be OK with a potentially lacklustre response. So if you really want to bake a cake, I don't see why not, just don't get upset if he doesn't stay up eating cake and complimenting you for baking it. That being said, I can't speak for your bf, but I've always found that massages are well-received even if (or especially if) the recipient is tired. No, not a professional massage, YOU massaging him. Just be okay with it if he falls asleep halfway through, which a good massage is wont to do if the person is exhausted. Well, for our 6 months anniversary, he surprised me with a trip on a boat to an island in the north of his city, where we got a tour of an old fort and have a romantic dinner. So i think for our 1 year anniversary, he will also have thought of something, and if not, well, then it is indeed my turn. May I ask why you say it's "just" a dating anniversary. What kind of anniversary would be more worthy of a celebration? As far as I know him, this man can sleep anywhere.
Author heavenonearth Posted June 3, 2018 Author Posted June 3, 2018 I'm afraid you may be disappointed as well, only because I'm wondering after reading all of your posts what expectations you have for his response. Unless cake were someone's favorite thing on earth, while it's a nice idea, I'm not sure I understand how it's meaningful to your relationship. Based on what you mentioned about what you think is important to him, seems like you believe quality time is important. To me, in that context, the plans should involve something that is 1) meaningful specifically to your relationship and is connected to what you love to do together (is eating that?) and 2) since you said quality time is highly important to him, seems like planning an experience together might be meaningful, depending on what you both enjoy (going to hear music, visiting a museum or art gallery, taking a hike, etc.) What is it that binds the two of you together?? What would be meaningful and special for the two of you? If he cooks all of the time and is good at it, I'm just wondering what the significance is of you cooking a meal/baking a cake is and would he find that special i.e. romantic, especially when he is tired, jet lagged, etc.? I love baking and it will be his birthday this weekend so I think a cake is pretty much standard, no? What else would I do?? Lol. I won't take him on a hike or museum trip after his vacation. I think we will chill at home and in the evening go to the bar where we had our first date. The significance of me cooking a meal? We will need to eat, and I won't make him cook for me after such a long flight. And I will make it special/romantic with candles and our favorite music, etc. Nothing too fancy, just the way we like it.
greymatter Posted June 3, 2018 Posted June 3, 2018 I didn't realize it's his birthday weekend so cake is obviously standard, but then again the cake is for his birthday celebration and not for the anniversary. My suggestion of another activity was not for the morning/day he arrives home, obviously (or, clearly, not obviously based your response). Those examples were about asking you what kind of activity would be meaningful for your relationship, I was not advocating for those activities specifically, but trying to ask what would be special to the two of you. LOL indeed, I do believe you don't need any help planning this, you seem to be doing great on your own figuring out that a day at home is what is called for (which is the obvious choice), some food for dinner and a visit to your first date venue. Congrats on your one year dating anniversary.
Gaeta Posted June 3, 2018 Posted June 3, 2018 May I ask why you say it's "just" a dating anniversary. What kind of anniversary would be more worthy of a celebration? I think what is worth celebrating are the years you've lived together or wedding anniversaries. I don't think 'dating' is anything to celebrate but that's me. If he had this very elaborate surprise for you for your 6th month dating what will it be for your 1st year living togetherr? A Lexus? If you both enjoy celebrating then no problem celebrate all your little heart wants. 1
Author heavenonearth Posted June 3, 2018 Author Posted June 3, 2018 I think what is worth celebrating are the years you've lived together or wedding anniversaries. I don't think 'dating' is anything to celebrate but that's me. If he had this very elaborate surprise for you for your 6th month dating what will it be for your 1st year living togetherr? A Lexus? If you both enjoy celebrating then no problem celebrate all your little heart wants. Well we aren’t materialistic people. So no, neither of us would drive a Lexus. My boyfriend drives the same Golf Mk1 for over 15 years. But he is very good at surprising me with trips. I can’t really compete so i bake.
Els Posted June 4, 2018 Posted June 4, 2018 Well, for our 6 months anniversary, he surprised me with a trip on a boat to an island in the north of his city, where we got a tour of an old fort and have a romantic dinner. So i think for our 1 year anniversary, he will also have thought of something, and if not, well, then it is indeed my turn. May I ask why you say it's "just" a dating anniversary. What kind of anniversary would be more worthy of a celebration? As far as I know him, this man can sleep anywhere. Re: the bolded, I'm pretty sure I didn't say "just"! But, to answer your question, anniversaries traditionally stemmed from celebrating years of marriage. While I am in complete support of people celebrating whatever they want, some people just don't celebrate dating anniversaries. We didn't, because we didn't even have a fixed date for the "start" of our dating, it just progressed naturally. But if your bf is aware and in support of dating anniversaries, that's great. Re: the rest of your post, as I said, absolutely feel free to do what you want. Just be aware of the possibility of him not having done anything or not being in a celebratory mood on his first morning back after an international flight, is all. Bake a cake, do what you feel like doing, just don't get upset if he goes to sleep! 1
Author heavenonearth Posted June 4, 2018 Author Posted June 4, 2018 Re: the bolded, I'm pretty sure I didn't say "just"! But, to answer your question, anniversaries traditionally stemmed from celebrating years of marriage. While I am in complete support of people celebrating whatever they want, some people just don't celebrate dating anniversaries. We didn't, because we didn't even have a fixed date for the "start" of our dating, it just progressed naturally. But if your bf is aware and in support of dating anniversaries, that's great. Re: the rest of your post, as I said, absolutely feel free to do what you want. Just be aware of the possibility of him not having done anything or not being in a celebratory mood on his first morning back after an international flight, is all. Bake a cake, do what you feel like doing, just don't get upset if he goes to sleep! Ok since most of you advised this, i will have a listen and tone it down in the surprise celebrations and as well tone down my expectations. I will not prepare crazy rose pedals on the bed and i will not precook any meals. I will only make the cake and that’s it. As far as i know he is somewhere in the wilderness right now riding his bike and camping for a few days, so i am not able to contact him and ask what he prefers. Anyway thanks everyone.
amaysngrace Posted June 4, 2018 Posted June 4, 2018 I thought making a home cooked meal sounded nice and like something he'd appreciate. 1
Author heavenonearth Posted June 4, 2018 Author Posted June 4, 2018 I thought making a home cooked meal sounded nice and like something he'd appreciate. Yes I will cook for him, just not right away (like the meal will be on his dining room table when he gets home).
Poutrew Posted June 4, 2018 Posted June 4, 2018 Well, I know one meal I'd appreciate after a long, arduous trip would be home cooked philly cheesesteak sandwiches.... with a couple pounds of thin sliced steak and cheese on toasted and seared French rolls, my tummy would go to bed smiling.
Author heavenonearth Posted June 4, 2018 Author Posted June 4, 2018 Well, I know one meal I'd appreciate after a long, arduous trip would be home cooked philly cheesesteak sandwiches.... with a couple pounds of thin sliced steak and cheese on toasted and seared French rolls, my tummy would go to bed smiling. Yeah, we don't eat that kind of stuff here... 1
Els Posted June 5, 2018 Posted June 5, 2018 Well, I know one meal I'd appreciate after a long, arduous trip would be home cooked philly cheesesteak sandwiches.... with a couple pounds of thin sliced steak and cheese on toasted and seared French rolls, my tummy would go to bed smiling. That sounds gorgeous under normal circumstances, but for me, for some reason, flying really does a number on my tummy. When I land, it's all about the warm chicken soup and easily-digestible stuff like noodles.
Author heavenonearth Posted June 5, 2018 Author Posted June 5, 2018 That sounds gorgeous under normal circumstances, but for me, for some reason, flying really does a number on my tummy. When I land, it's all about the warm chicken soup and easily-digestible stuff like noodles. I think flying from US to Europe, he will not have much of a problem with that.
lana-banana Posted June 6, 2018 Posted June 6, 2018 (edited) I think flying from US to Europe, he will not have much of a problem with that. Man. When I fly west to east I am absolutely wrecked, especially if I'm going overseas (east to west is much easier). My husband came back from out west over the weekend and is still a bit out of it. Remember, the human body can adjust to no more than 2 hours of time change a day. A lot of people have offered you really good advice and suggestions, and you keep insisting that none of it's applicable, so I'm not sure what to tell you. In terms of cooking, if you own an immersion circulator you could do some sous vide salmon with a nice herb compound butter. You could spatchcock a good chicken and put it on the grill. Summer vegetables are here so you could do a gratin. I like ratatouille with a basic salad. If it's cooler, do a soup au pistou with rosé. I have a fridge full of homemade ramp and garlic scape pesto, so we're currently putting it on everything. Edited June 6, 2018 by lana-banana 2
Els Posted June 6, 2018 Posted June 6, 2018 I think flying from US to Europe, he will not have much of a problem with that. Out of curiosity, have you ever flown long-haul across multiple timezones before? That being said, I guess you know him better than we do. Maybe he really does get hungry and would love cake after a long-haul flight, who knows? He'd certainly be very much in the minority though!
Gaeta Posted June 6, 2018 Posted June 6, 2018 She can cook and bake and just have it ready for the weekend, and he'll enjoy it when he's ready to eat. As long as Heaven doesn't expect him to be in top shape for a full meal and visiting bars on the day he arrives.
No_Go Posted June 6, 2018 Posted June 6, 2018 Out of curiosity, have you ever flown long-haul across multiple timezones before? That being said, I guess you know him better than we do. Maybe he really does get hungry and would love cake after a long-haul flight, who knows? He'd certainly be very much in the minority though! Eh US (at least the East Coast) to NL is not SUCH a terrible flight. I've done this multiple times when I was working in NL and not only was in a mood to eat but usually would go directly to work after arrival in the morning... Maybe it helped I was 25 Cake & dinner is totally fine IMO. Taking him to the bar... Maybe the next day, because for practical purposes staying home is better I'm sure he missed the sex more than bars and dinners!
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