sof22 Posted May 31, 2018 Posted May 31, 2018 We've been dating for almost two years and at the start of the relationship we almost broke up because I discovered he had been sexting with his ex. I decided to forgive him and move on. It took me a while to fully trust him again but I eventually did. Yesterday I, by accident, discovered the application kik on his phone. We used to sext on this app before dating. So I read a conversation he has with a girl and in which he lied about his job and was clearly trying to seduce her. What hurt me the most is that he told her that he broke up with his gf because she (me) was boring in bed and that she made him stop having sexual desires. I confronted him and he told me he didn't meant it, that it was all a lie. For the past six months we haven't had a very active sex life because he's rarely horny and tells me he doesn't like sex. This has made me feel extremely self-conscious but he insists there's nothing wrong with me, only with him and his low sex-drive. I'm still debating if I should stay in this relationship because I have never felt so connected to anyone ever, but I just can not avoid feeling betrayed and hurt about his words about me. Sorry for such a long question but I really appreciate any comments or advice. Thank you.
Zahara Posted May 31, 2018 Posted May 31, 2018 We've been dating for almost two years and at the start of the relationship we almost broke up because I discovered he had been sexting with his ex. I decided to forgive him and move on. It took me a while to fully trust him again but I eventually did. Yesterday I, by accident, discovered the application kik on his phone. We used to sext on this app before dating. So I read a conversation he has with a girl and in which he lied about his job and was clearly trying to seduce her. What hurt me the most is that he told her that he broke up with his gf because she (me) was boring in bed and that she made him stop having sexual desires. I confronted him and he told me he didn't meant it, that it was all a lie. For the past six months we haven't had a very active sex life because he's rarely horny and tells me he doesn't like sex. This has made me feel extremely self-conscious but he insists there's nothing wrong with me, only with him and his low sex-drive. I'm still debating if I should stay in this relationship because I have never felt so connected to anyone ever, but I just can not avoid feeling betrayed and hurt about his words about me. Sorry for such a long question but I really appreciate any comments or advice. Thank you. I'm surprised you are asking if you should break up with someone that consistently lies and cheats. You haven't felt this connected to someone? A man that in the beginning of your relationship was already showing you poor behavior? I think you are addicted to drama and translate that kind of toxicity as a "connection". He's probably sleeping with other women hence avoids having any physical interactions with you. He's not in it for you or for the relationship anymore. Walk away. Find your self-respect. 2
d0nnivain Posted May 31, 2018 Posted May 31, 2018 Why would you stay with a guy who tells strangers he's trying to cheat on you with that you are boring in bed? Don't say you stay 'cause you love him. Love yourself more & never stick around for an untrustworthy guy. He had his chance -- you took him back after the sexting with his EX. He's up to his old tricks. How many times does he have to hurt you before you walk?
ExpatInItaly Posted May 31, 2018 Posted May 31, 2018 The man you thought you were so connected to doesn't exist, OP. He hasn't changed a bit and you'd be very unwise to stay and try to make this work. This should be a no-brainer. Dump him and find someone who actually respects you. This guy doesn't. 1
Veronica73 Posted June 1, 2018 Posted June 1, 2018 Yes, you most definitely should break up with him. Absolutely, no doubt about it.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 1, 2018 Posted June 1, 2018 I think you are addicted to drama and translate that kind of toxicity as a "connection". I agree. Don't confuse emotional angst with emotional connection. 1
stillafool Posted June 1, 2018 Posted June 1, 2018 No he wasn't lying to the other girl he is lying to you. That is why he isn't keen on having sex with you anymore because he's sexing other girls. You should already be gone.
JeanGray Posted June 1, 2018 Posted June 1, 2018 You will make a deeper, better, trusting relationship with someone else. He's looking for a new girlfriend via the same app he met you on, he will dump you once he finds something better.
GoreSP Posted June 1, 2018 Posted June 1, 2018 Ugh. He sounds just like my ex. Not only break up but cut off this person entirely from your life. Don't be friends with him, you deserve better people in your life. 1
salparadise Posted June 1, 2018 Posted June 1, 2018 I think you are addicted to drama and translate that kind of toxicity as a "connection". He's probably sleeping with other women.... Yea, I think is probably the case. Why else would you be talking about connection with a guy who lies, betrays and doesn't want sex (with you)? You know who he is, and you know he's not going to wake up tomorrow and be someone else. You sound just like some of the women who can't leave abusers. They think it's love even though black eyes, bloody lips and broken bones are how they connect. If he's not cheating already, it's just because he hasn't had an opportunity. In case you haven't figured it out, no quarter is given on this forum for men who are liars, cheaters or have character deficits. He qualifies even if you haven't caught him in the act. You will not hear anyone taking the other side or saying he deserves a second chance.
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