clueless_4ever Posted May 31, 2018 Posted May 31, 2018 This is not so much of a break up. More like the guy I was dating for a couple months ghosted me. He told me he could see himself having a relationship with me. He talked about plans in the future for us. He was always so kind to me. We spent 3 days a week together. He deleted dating apps for me (although I see he still follows a few of them on Instagram and likes their pictures). Then slowly he got distant. His best friend was in town for 2 weeks so he told me he would be spending a lot of time with him. After that, he got busy with work. So I didn’t see him for a month. He told me he was dealing with personal issues and I didn’t want to push so I respected his needs and gave space. He slowly came back and asked to make plans. Two weeks in a row we made plans, he completely drops off the radar that day and does not talk to me until late at night apologizing for being busy at work or being so tired. He tells me he still wants a relationship with me and hopes this doesn’t jeopardize it. So I take him for his word. I ask to set another date for us and now he’s completely not responding and ignoring me on purpose. I don’t know what happened. I have decided to let go of this guy. He does not respect nor value me. He is completely ok with his needs being met while mine are not. My problem is: how do I not take this personally? This really hurts me because of all the times he talked about future plans and a relationship. I also really liked this guy and saw potential with him. I really don’t think I did anything at fault besides message him to meet (which should be normal if you haven’t seen the person you’re dating for a month) but he won’t even respond to me. I somehow can’t shake the feeling that I messed up or wasn’t good enough. How do I become the confident person I once was? Also, he has a few of my food containers that I really like but it’s nothing irreplaceable. And I have his hoodie and container too. Should I ask to return each other’s things? Or just forget about it and move on?
stillafool Posted May 31, 2018 Posted May 31, 2018 Do not contact him again. I wouldn't be surprised if that friend that came to town was a girl he is seeing and that is why he went cold on you after they went back. He is probably still involved and torn about her. I would go ghost on everything including social media if I were you and give my mind and heart a rest.
Author clueless_4ever Posted May 31, 2018 Author Posted May 31, 2018 Actually, I know the friend was a guy cause he would send me videos and pictures with on Snapchat. And he used to always talk to me about what they did. It’s more after his friend left where things changed. It’s also once we started to get more serious leading towards a relationship where he grew distant. But I always respected his space and never pushed anything.
Zahara Posted May 31, 2018 Posted May 31, 2018 (edited) It’s also once we started to get more serious leading towards a relationship where he grew distant. But I always respected his space and never pushed anything. There you go. While he fed you his hopes and dreams soon into your time together, once he realized that things were getting a little serious, he backed away. Sometimes people get caught up with the highs of a new relationship but then as time goes by and reality sets in and they start to realize how they truly feel about the commitment. Regardless of whether you gave him space or not, you do not want to date a guy that is stepping away. If a guy is interested in you for all the right reasons, it will progress and not regress. This has nothing to do with you. You both just had very different expectations. Don't let it determine your value. Edited May 31, 2018 by Zahara
d0nnivain Posted May 31, 2018 Posted May 31, 2018 You just tell yourself he has bad taste if he can't see all of your good qualities. You could be an amazing person, just not the perfect match for each other. Doesn't make you bad. If you want his stuff out of your house, mail it to him with a note asking that he return your food containers. Like you said, they are not irreplaceable. I'd just go buy new ones.
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