InvisibleMan Posted August 31, 2005 Posted August 31, 2005 My girlfriend and I have been together for roughly 2 years now, and it's been a long distance relationship from the start. We've had some extended times together (a month here, a week there, etc) and all and it's, well, all good. We're looking at eliminating that distance very soon. I have also been wanting to ask for her hand... Anyways, just recently she's told me she has something of a "crush" on another guy. Like, the puppy love kinda stuff where she gets giddy around him and stumbles over herself and all that. She's also told me that she doesn't trust herself not to follow through if he initiates certain things; nothing overly far, but enough to bother me. My question is whether or not this is "normal" in a healthy committed relationship? Is this something that's indicitive of her, of us, not being ready for the commitment of marriage? Or is it something that just kinda...comes with the territory? It's great that she's so open and honest with me about all this, I just worry that if this is more indicative of maybe her not being commited to the relationship or having a need for something more that I'm not offering that, well, marriage isn't the right path - at least not now. What do you guys think? Thanks a ton
RecordProducer Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 I don't see any reason why she would let you know about this crush except to make you hurry up and propose to her. She can be honest, but this is more than that: She's also told me that she doesn't trust herself not to follow through if he initiates certain things; nothing overly far, but enough to bother me. In other words - "if you don't propose soon enough, I'll be with him". If she were the cheating type, she would just cheat and not advertise it. Often the barking dog does bite, i.e. threats become reality. If you don't give her what she expects, she might break up with you and start a romance with the other guy (or any other guy). She is reminding you that you're not the only one in this world.
kgal Posted September 3, 2005 Posted September 3, 2005 Hmm.. I'd let her have him. If she can have feelings for someone besides you (especially if you want to marry her!) than she's not worthy of your love. I think its okay to see someone and think they are good looking, afterall.. you aren't blind... BUT.. you guys have a commitment... she shouldn't stray. It shouldn't matter if its been 2 or even 10 years! If she was doing this for you to ask her hand sooner, why didn't she just come out and say it? Seriously, think about this. You wouldnt want to get engaged, get the wedding together.. and then have her tell you something like that, would you? Talk to her about this.. All the best for you!
Outcast Posted September 3, 2005 Posted September 3, 2005 I think it's insane to ask someone who has been almost exclusively LD to marry you. If this 'crush' is an attempt to get you to ask, don't fall for it.
TnT Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 I think she may be telling u this out of honesty. I always told my man to be honest with things like that (not that he would tell me, cos it would hurt im sure) But yeah, i dont think there is anything to it. Everyone goes through stages like this, even if they are in a committed relationship. Maybe she does want you to hurry up and be the one who is with her to make her feel all gitty and stuff. Its a tad hard to do that over the phone at the best of times...lol Are u going to ask her if she is going to act on this feeling or is it just that.. a feeling?
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