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Still can’t get over what happened (update)


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Posted
What do you mean?

 

 

There is a lot of people out there that put themselves online to date when they're not ready. They think they are but aren't. They get super excited to meet you, it last a few days and then they're hit with reality that they have not moved on. You have to be aware of this phenomenon and when people are super excited to have met you you keep in mind it's possible it's temporary and it won't last.

 

 

 

I use to tell daters on here untill you are exclusive with someone do not put too much value in their words. If I had a dollar each time a new date told me I was the woman they've been looking for I'd be rich.

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Posted

She probably thought she was ready to try and move on, and was enjoying the flirtation with you. She probably really wanted to be into you and that's why she was enthusiastic about future plans. She was turned on and if you are correct, did get off on the sex.

 

But then just like guys are often accused of, after that rush, she was done. She realized she just didn't want anything more from you, that she was missing her boyfriend. Harsh, but possibly the case.

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Posted
There is a lot of people out there that put themselves online to date when they're not ready. They think they are but aren't. They get super excited to meet you, it last a few days and then they're hit with reality that they have not moved on. You have to be aware of this phenomenon and when people are super excited to have met you you keep in mind it's possible it's temporary and it won't last.

 

 

 

I use to tell daters on here untill you are exclusive with someone do not put too much value in their words. If I had a dollar each time a new date told me I was the woman they've been looking for I'd be rich.

 

It wasn’t really so much her words, it was her actions she followed up with her words. Tough pill to swallow but it’s some what good to know I’m not the only one that has gotten caught up in something like this.

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Posted
She probably thought she was ready to try and move on, and was enjoying the flirtation with you. She probably really wanted to be into you and that's why she was enthusiastic about future plans. She was turned on and if you are correct, did get off on the sex.

 

But then just like guys are often accused of, after that rush, she was done. She realized she just didn't want anything more from you, that she was missing her boyfriend. Harsh, but possibly the case.

 

Yea I’m hoping this is what it truly was and it’s not something (behavior/action) I displayed unknowingly

Posted

The inability to walk away will be men's greatest problem in this hookup culture, where almost everyone is rebounding, or has unfinished business.

 

 

This girl was very likely trying to use you to get over her ex, as a distraction from how she feels about her ex, or to make him jealous. In any case, she was not dating you, and nothing that night was about you, it was all about him.

 

 

If you do not ditch her immediately, you will no doubt pay the price. As I said, unfortunately one of the best things a man can learn early on in this dating culture is how to walk and never look back.

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Posted
The inability to walk away will be men's greatest problem in this hookup culture, where almost everyone is rebounding, or has unfinished business.

 

 

This girl was very likely trying to use you to get over her ex, as a distraction from how she feels about her ex, or to make him jealous. In any case, she was not dating you, and nothing that night was about you, it was all about him.

 

 

If you do not ditch her immediately, you will no doubt pay the price. As I said, unfortunately one of the best things a man can learn early on in this dating culture is how to walk and never look back.

 

This is probably it. But I also don’t think I made her chase enough. I made it too easy for her

Posted
It wasn’t really so much her words, it was her actions she followed up with her words. Tough pill to swallow but it’s some what good to know I’m not the only one that has gotten caught up in something like this.

 

This has happened to me a jazillion times.

 

Gaeta is absolutely correct. It happens ALL THE TIME. You must not have online dated too much yet ...

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Posted
This has happened to me a jazillion times.

 

Gaeta is absolutely correct. It happens ALL THE TIME. You must not have online dated too much yet ...

 

Yea i do date some what frequenty, but not much online. Never been in a serious relationship in all my 23 years of living, that’s when once i have a girl I’m dating, that I am actually into, show so much interest in me and then cut me off it rattles tf out of me. I’m always working on improving myself especially in rejection and try to find where i messed up so i don’t repeat it again. I’ve came a long way over the past couple years and this one seemed like i did everything correct and she reciprocated it by showing insane amount of attraction. I’ve been told girls don’t turn guys down they find as a catch. Which is why I’m strung up on all of this.

Posted (edited)

Dude, you're enslaved by a bunch of foolish pickup moves. You didn't make her work hard enough. She was showing high attraction.

 

Dude, none of that matters if a woman (or man) or a first date or so utters more than one sentence about an ex. She uttered a bunch of sentences about her ex. The content doesn't matter. That's where you're getting lost. Just talking about the ex.

 

And by the way, it was your job to ask her a lot of questions about her ex, when she brought him. You basically ignored her words. No, go the opposite: ask a ton of questions. You were acting like an employer in a job interview ... who gets told by the applicant that they got fired from their last two jobs ... and then asks no followup questions.

 

Also you're making the rookie mistake: if someone says their ex was a jerk, that therefore means they don't miss the ex.

 

In fact lots of people miss exes who treated them like jerks.

 

If anything, there was too much "attraction" on her part ... If someone really likes you and is over an ex, there's no need to rush, be bold or anything. They just chill and let things unfold.

 

Your behavior here has absolutely ZERO effect on how much she misses the ex. And unfortunately you got burned in that horrible way: in the middle of sex, he clearly has memories of the ext.

 

You are fortunate her heartbreak and all came out so early ...

Edited by Lotsgoingon
Posted

I remember, in the past, when I wasn't over an ex, and had sex with a new guy, I always felt a bit guilty for sleeping with 'someone else' (even though I was not with my ex anymore)...

So yeah, it's probably how she felt.

 

I do not necessarily think it is a bad thing, because sometimes it helps to fall in love anew to get over the pain of a past break up.

...but what I do think is bad, that she put it on twitter. Who puts their emotions out on twitter like that?

Jeez...

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Posted
I remember, in the past, when I wasn't over an ex, and had sex with a new guy, I always felt a bit guilty for sleeping with 'someone else' (even though I was not with my ex anymore)...

So yeah, it's probably how she felt.

 

I do not necessarily think it is a bad thing, because sometimes it helps to fall in love anew to get over the pain of a past break up.

...but what I do think is bad, that she put it on twitter. Who puts their emotions out on twitter like that?

Jeez...

 

Yea that agitated me as well. Like as soon as she got home. The whole situation in general is fd up. Guess we’ll have to see if somewhere down the road she hits me up again.

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Posted
Dude, you're enslaved by a bunch of foolish pickup moves. You didn't make her work hard enough. She was showing high attraction.

 

Dude, none of that matters if a woman (or man) or a first date or so utters more than one sentence about an ex. She uttered a bunch of sentences about her ex. The content doesn't matter. That's where you're getting lost. Just talking about the ex.

 

And by the way, it was your job to ask her a lot of questions about her ex, when she brought him. You basically ignored her words. No, go the opposite: ask a ton of questions. You were acting like an employer in a job interview ... who gets told by the applicant that they got fired from their last two jobs ... and then asks no followup questions.

 

Also you're making the rookie mistake: if someone says their ex was a jerk, that therefore means they don't miss the ex.

 

In fact lots of people miss exes who treated them like jerks.

 

If anything, there was too much "attraction" on her part ... If someone really likes you and is over an ex, there's no need to rush, be bold or anything. They just chill and let things unfold.

 

Your behavior here has absolutely ZERO effect on how much she misses the ex. And unfortunately you got burned in that horrible way: in the middle of sex, he clearly has memories of the ext.

 

You are fortunate her heartbreak and all came out so early ...

 

Yea if things would have happened further down the road and she pulled this i could only imagine what would be going through my head if something this short has me like this.

Posted

Just move on. SOmeone who will not get over an ex no matter how long it has or hasn't been since they broke up will always hold it over you. Even if it isn't an ex, there will always be a reason or excuse as to why something CAN'T happen.

Posted
What to do? dump her! Don't be a fool for some faked/half baked interest....you know you are a rebound right? The interest and all that is for the benefit of her needed to feel good about herself because she's not. She misses him bad, her self esteem is low, she still has a taste for the toxic..RUN Forest RUN!

 

Yes dump her, you want someone's full attention, not being on the rebound. She is prob sleeping around w/guys to get over her ex, don't let her use you.

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