alltalk Posted May 29, 2018 Posted May 29, 2018 About 2 years ago now I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 and a half years. I was absolutely convinced that he was the love of my life and I was completely committed to the relationship for life, having met him when I was young and fallen completely in love with him. He had been acting strange for around 6 months and then one day told me he didn’t feel the same anymore and asked me if I would move out of the home we owned. I did so as I have family nearby and he didn’t. Less than 1 week later I found out he had a girl from work staying in my house. This then turned into her secretly living in my house (despite being engaged herself!) and 2 years on they are still together and seem to be very happy. I have moved on too and found a lovely new partner who is amazing and gorgeous and great but I still feel so angry about it so much of the time. I have friends who see my ex and his new girlfriend and it still absolutely kills me. I think about it all the time. I had some counselling a year or so ago but I didn’t find that it helped at all and I even find myself constantly questioning my new relationship now because I worry my feelings for him are not as strong as they were for my ex. What should I do? I sometimes wonder if this is because after we broke up I never saw him again, even after finding out he had been cheating, he just got away with it completely and nothing ever came of his horrible behaviour! Knowing that people I consider friends are justifying what he did and conducting a relationship with the two of them makes me feel so upset. I just don’t know how to move on from this properly! Any advice?
c.a.f. Posted May 30, 2018 Posted May 30, 2018 (edited) Sorry to hear what you're going through. I also am struggling with an ex and the painful feelings that come from imagining them cheating on you with someone else. It feels worse if you know who it is, too. It's tough because we feel like we should be able to have control over these kinds of situations but sometimes that just isn't the case. Maybe this is one of those times where you won't be able to get control over it how you want. Especially if you want to punish him or make him feel bad, it won't go the way you want either probably. Plus you're in a relationship, please focus more on that one than this. I know it's hard, I don't know what else to say, sorry. Edited May 30, 2018 by c.a.f. 1
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