StillWaiting2 Posted August 30, 2005 Posted August 30, 2005 Hello all My name is DawnMarie. I have been dating my MM for almost 3 years now. He was supposed to leave last June, but still hasn't & i'm still waiting! When I talk to him about it, he still says he's leaving when the time is right. I know I should get out, but I am just soooooooo attracted to him, its not even funny. We have a place together, that he pays for & the lease is up this January. How do i get him to finally leave? WHy won't he leave if our love is so deep, i don't understand it. I just can't let go, i'm dying over here. I tried breaking up with him the last 2 times he missed his deadline, but ended up going back Any suggestions?
Merin Posted August 30, 2005 Posted August 30, 2005 As long as you continue to wait and make it okay for him to have a relationship with you and continue his relationship with his Wife that is exaxtly what he's going to do. Doesn't matter if he pays for an apartment for you, IF you feel that "covers" all you need or want from a relationship then good to go, but IF it isn't all you want and need in a relationship then you already know what you need to do. You've waited for 3 years, there isn't going to come a time that he feels is "Right" IMO regardless of what he SAYS look at what he DOES and make good choices and conclusions from his actions. Will it hurt to end the relationship... I'm sure it will... BUT ask yourself if it's going to hurt MORE to stay in it, wait 3 more years only for him to tell you it STILL ISN'T the "Right time" Good Luck
zoey15 Posted August 30, 2005 Posted August 30, 2005 What really gets me is how in the hell can the OW/OM really believe that the MM/MW is really going to leave? Seriously, is there anyone out there that is just in it for themselves? or is everyone on this subject really thinking there MM/MW would consider you over there W? You are being used! You are giving him your body and you're okay w/ the fact that he's M. He will never leave her for you. Sorry to be so brutal, but I've been seeing my MM for four months now & I would never want to hear those words out of his mouth. I would be offended, because it's all just a lie! If you don't respect yourself, how will you ever expect this MM/MW to respect you? I use mine for sex, that's all he's good for but I leave it at that. But then I hope to god I'm not seeing my MM for three years! I'd be in a lot of trouble if I couldn't find a real realationship.
ConfusedMM Posted August 31, 2005 Posted August 31, 2005 Hey Marie, You're posting under a different name now? And you're still waiting on this guy to leave. How sad. I'm sorry to hear that.
erika2610 Posted August 31, 2005 Posted August 31, 2005 Hello all My name is DawnMarie. I have been dating my MM for almost 3 years now. He was supposed to leave last June, but still hasn't & i'm still waiting! When I talk to him about it, he still says he's leaving when the time is right. I know I should get out, but I am just soooooooo attracted to him, its not even funny. We have a place together, that he pays for & the lease is up this January. How do i get him to finally leave? WHy won't he leave if our love is so deep, i don't understand it. I just can't let go, i'm dying over here. I tried breaking up with him the last 2 times he missed his deadline, but ended up going back Any suggestions? You're not going to get him to leave. I've followed your story, and can tell you he's not going to. I don't know why you continue to put yourself through this pain.
erika2610 Posted August 31, 2005 Posted August 31, 2005 Hello all My name is DawnMarie. I have been dating my MM for almost 3 years now. He was supposed to leave last June, but still hasn't & i'm still waiting! When I talk to him about it, he still says he's leaving when the time is right. I know I should get out, but I am just soooooooo attracted to him, its not even funny. We have a place together, that he pays for & the lease is up this January. How do i get him to finally leave? WHy won't he leave if our love is so deep, i don't understand it. I just can't let go, i'm dying over here. I tried breaking up with him the last 2 times he missed his deadline, but ended up going back Any suggestions? Marie, haven't you put yourself through this for long enough? I mean really, when is enough enough? Why waste your time on this man? Like I said, he's not leaving. He has too much to lose. Plus, you keep getting back together with him, so to him, you're ok with this situation. He KNOWS he can do this to you, and you'll keep running back. And all this time you've been spending on him, you've probably passed by Mr. Right. A single man. This's turned into a game, and I don't know why you keep playing it. You're just asking for more heartache. It's kinda sad, really. I'd say just cut your losses and move on.
Author StillWaiting2 Posted August 31, 2005 Author Posted August 31, 2005 Hello Yes i'm posting under a different name, they the moderators keep kicking me off. So if i get kicked off again, u know why. I will behave, I promise moderators!! Yes, I really thought that he would really leave his wife for me. But u guys will be proud of me. I couldn't sleep last night becuase of him & i was thinking, & I decided to leave him a voice mail on his cell phone. I basically told him to call me when he leaves that i can't let him do this to me anymore. I said if he loved me like he says he does, he would climb mountains to be with me. I told him i loved him but i can't do it anymore. Thats a start right? I was peaking around last night & saw that there is a book out there called "This Affair is Over" by Nannette Miner. I am going to order it today! The reviews say its an eye opener.
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 31, 2005 Posted August 31, 2005 I hope that you can come to believe your own words. Don't expect MM to react too strongly. MM has heard you say stuff like this before, and has seen you "stand up for yourself" only to cave shortly afterward. He knows you aren't going anywhere - and he has an infinite amount of bullsh*t to feed you to keep you coming back. Let's hope you find some strength inside to show him that you truly are done putting yourself last, and will end the affair once and for all.
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