Romantic_Antics Posted May 28, 2018 Posted May 28, 2018 I am genuine but can't say the same for 99% men I was in that 1% that you probably overlooked because you were checking out the half-naked dude with the 6-pack abs.
rightondude Posted May 28, 2018 Posted May 28, 2018 I have had a horrible time on it. Yes, there are options but only poor quality ones. 1. Men that just got out of LTR/marriage/still married/in love with a friend etc and make a profile in attempts to get over it. They will love bomb and play you and are not genuine. 2. The ultimate undesirables. These are bitter men that got rejected all their lives and are usually mid 30s with never having had a gf.. I am genuine but can't say the same for 99% men unless they belong in category 2 (I have never been even remotely attracted to someone in that category). So yeah, I deleted all my profiles few months back and gave up. There is this common misconception that women are looking "for someone better". Most of us hate OLD and can't wait to GTFO of there I am not number 1 or 2. Also you forgot about #3 (who I'm not also), the guys who are studs and shack up with a different chick literally every night, then move on. It's my theory they swoop the women I normally talk with steadily for awhile, then go on a few dates with, then never hear from again. I may be totally wrong but something's going on. I simply refuse to believe I am not prize enough to keep a woman's interest. That just couldn't be a possibility!
Chilli Posted May 28, 2018 Posted May 28, 2018 I have had a horrible time on it. Yes, there are options but only poor quality ones. 1. Men that just got out of LTR/marriage/still married/in love with a friend etc and make a profile in attempts to get over it. They will love bomb and play you and are not genuine. 2. The ultimate undesirables. These are bitter men that got rejected all their lives and are usually mid 30s with never having had a gf.. I am genuine but can't say the same for 99% men unless they belong in category 2 (I have never been even remotely attracted to someone in that category). So yeah, I deleted all my profiles few months back and gave up. There is this common misconception that women are looking "for someone better". Most of us hate OLD and can't wait to GTFO of there Yep , everyone l met said all this .
Grey40 Posted May 28, 2018 Posted May 28, 2018 It’s really not that bad and I like OLD a lot. You meet people that you’d never encounter in person and sometimes it’s great. But it’s definitley hit or miss. For guys, if you are average or below average looking, it’s definitely really frustrating and annoying I bet. The problem is most of the women I’ve met on there have at least 1 serious issue or problem and usually a good amount of baggage of some sort. Very rarely do I meet really stable, normal people on it—but it has happened. Unfortunately the girls I went out with that I really liked a lot, end up ghosting me or telling me they aren’t into it, and the girls I’m really “eh, so so” about won’t leave me alone.
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 28, 2018 Posted May 28, 2018 I think guys get less quantity but at least most women are going to want a relationship (after 30) rather than go online to find "casual". Most men who are in mid 30s or above and are average looking, have a job, can hold a conversation have no problems finding women online. That assumes that they are not going to go after 21 yo model looking hotties. For women a lot of guys want casual but pretend to want more. Going through the same early dates, repeat conversations and all it entails can get very tiring, you just feel like a robot after a while. Eventually those of us who haven't had luck to come across someone that is genuine and we click with get so worn out that they opt out of the game. 1
Shanex Posted May 28, 2018 Posted May 28, 2018 Most men who are in mid 30s or above and are average looking, have a job, can hold a conversation have no problems finding women online. That assumes that they are not going to go after 21 yo model looking hotties. Probably I fall into this category, I'm probably not some stud with a different woman in bed every week as I'm not looking for this. Been told enough that I'm good looking and that's good enough. Mid-30s and can hold a convo. You are right, I'm not struggling to meet women around my age, and eventually the connection or ''click'' isn't always there to which I move on without regrets. For women a lot of guys want casual but pretend to want more. Going through the same early dates, repeat conversations and all it entails can get very tiring, you just feel like a robot after a while. Eventually those of us who haven't had luck to come across someone that is genuine and we click with get so worn out that they opt out of the game. Can't disagree with this either, many guys are pretty manipulative and will go from short lived relationships to another while pretending they 'wanted' more or sometimes even manage to sabotage their own relationships being mean or distant to move on and get dumped without having remorses. A few ladies are like that too.
salparadise Posted May 28, 2018 Posted May 28, 2018 (edited) I just think online generally women now have the upper hand. Online that balance of nature changes, and I feel women are now [taking] advantage of the men sometimes as means of revenge as well. I also think the standards of women are through the roof, because there is always the next guy waiting. This causes them to care less and miss the love of their life because they are craving the attention of the next best thing. Women have always had the upper hand in the mating dance. Women are nature's genetic optimizers. Collectively they choose which men are deemed worthy of reproductive access, and they're not the least bit altruistic about it. All men strive to proliferate genetically, and they make their bids, but it's always the women who get to decide. Women inherently want only the best, whereas men typically will not pass up an opportunity. Women will hold out 'til hell freezes over to optimize the genetics and social standing for her progeny. Men just try to breed as much as possible. In non-monagmous societies (monogamy is a recent social construct) wealthy, powerful men took as many wives as they could afford, and fathered as many offspring as possible to maximize genetic proliferation (nature's scorecard). The king may have had hundreds of wives, less wealthy men only a dozen. The most desirable women rose to the top of the socioeconomic hierarchy, and less attractive women settled for a moderately wealthy man. Since XX and XY are born in approximately equal numbers, all of the women would be married to perhaps a third of the men, and the other two-thirds of men were shyte out of luck. No privileges for average and below average men. And seeing as how this is serious business, even the nicest of women grant no sympathy-consolation-altruistic favors. Wars have helped reduce the number of young men, disproportionately reducing the poor and powerless (even as recently as Vietnam). The FLDS Mormons excommunicate excess males at adolescence (Lost Boys) The genetic predisposition for sexual selection (documented across species by Darwin) is still strong in humans, even though most modern cultures have adopted monogamy (having two-thirds of the male population sexually frustrated all the time leads to social instability). The supply/demand curve in online dating simply models the natural inclinations of the human mating practices by making selection less personal, less social, and offering women far more choices, or at least the perception of such. (The Paradox of Choice) The reality is that a handful of good-looking men are getting all the action they can stand, while at the same time keeping all the women tied up as they fixate on said handful of top males... as opposed to self-distributing across the entire genetic/socioeconomic stratum as they're supposed to in a monogamous society. You also have to realize that a lot of people consider online dating a last resort, so men and women who do really well in society generally usually find plenty of opportunities without resorting to it, or if they do they'll only be there for a very short time. So dating sites are a collection of mostly those who for one reason or another have failed to attract or keep mates. The reasons are often valid––mental health issues, abuse, addiction, philandering, dishonesty, antisocial or other character deficits... and those whose hearts have been broken so badly that they cannot muster the courage to allow themselves to be vulnerable again. So how do you deal with it? For men: be extremely good looking, wealthy, high-status, and be able to talk more shyte than . For women: easy, just be willing to accept a nice guy that other women aren't paying so much attention to, make a good choice, and never second guess as to whether you could've done a little better. And for both men and women: learn to cull the crazies while realizing no one is perfect. Edited May 28, 2018 by salparadise
coolheadal Posted May 28, 2018 Posted May 28, 2018 I think guys get less quantity but at least most women are going to want a relationship (after 30) rather than go online to find "casual". Most men who are in mid 30s or above and are average looking, have a job, can hold a conversation have no problems finding women online. That assumes that they are not going to go after 21 yo model looking hotties. For women a lot of guys want casual but pretend to want more. Going through the same early dates, repeat conversations and all it entails can get very tiring, you just feel like a robot after a while. Eventually those of us who haven't had luck to come across someone that is genuine and we click with get so worn out that they opt out of the game. It's more of a guessing game...I've dated in my late teens then stopped for a career then later on started to search found out the hard way. I could have avoided all this if I just took one girl home from college simple enough. I keeping telling myself if I could go back in time I would tell my younger self listen just take her home forget about the bridge tolls and such. That girl loved you so much and you blew it! Handed her to another guy that said thanks! Oh well we men make all sorts of crazy changes. Today I say you meet someone at work. I never bothered doing this until 2017. I've also allowed her to do her own thing because we men shouldn't really tell a grown woman what to do in the first place. Of course we men might not like it but if that's what makes her happy let her.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 28, 2018 Posted May 28, 2018 I've done a few stints of OLD with OK results, but right now I'm not on any sites and not feeling inclined to go back anytime soon. I had one serious relationship from a free dating site, with a man I never would have met otherwise who was a great catch. He wanted to get married, and I was tempted because it made sense in a lot of ways, but ultimately I felt it wasn't a great match and problems would arise later, so I ended it. I dated all last year, and my matches got progressively better. I feel I came close to finding a good long-term match, but not quite. OLD has introduced me to a lot more potential mates, but in the end it's just like real life, a search for a needle in a haystack. I think a lot of people are starting to feel disillusioned about OLD. But online is just the medium. We're the ones projecting our thoughts and desires into the medium. The medium does make it easier to reduce people to a 2D image, like an item in an online store. Both men and women get pulled into shopping for a mate like a product. But we can all filter the choices however we want. You can filter by height or looks or deeper qualities, in any medium. I'm going to try to meet someone the old-fashioned way.
Agonistes Posted May 29, 2018 Posted May 29, 2018 I had good results with OLD and at the bar, too. I will say that the women from OLD have generally been what I would consider higher quality than those from the bar. If I am ever looking for a relationship again, I will use OLD. If I just want to get laid, the bar is my place.
Chilli Posted May 30, 2018 Posted May 30, 2018 (edited) I think guys get less quantity but at least most women are going to want a relationship (after 30) rather than go online to find "casual". Most men who are in mid 30s or above and are average looking, have a job, can hold a conversation have no problems finding women online. That assumes that they are not going to go after 21 yo model looking hotties. For women a lot of guys want casual but pretend to want more. Going through the same early dates, repeat conversations and all it entails can get very tiring, you just feel like a robot after a while. Eventually those of us who haven't had luck to come across someone that is genuine and we click with get so worn out that they opt out of the game. Hmm, dunno about this tbh from a guys point of view and what l found. The hardest thing was looks with women if you wanna talk average in guys. The women on mine, the few l met were the only 1/2 decent looking chicks on the whole site in my range. And even them if they were as good in real life l wouldn't even be here but far from, dud pics, old pics or l dunno what. The rest though , my God l literally felt damaged sifting through and from some that emailed me l'd think wtf are you effg kidding, are you insulting me. TBH in just a few wks l thought 100times, omeffg God, l can't do this. l found very few women that could even consider calling the kinda shots they almost demanded on their profile it was a bit of a joke if anything, talk about over rate themselves. l also don't know about the wanting a relationship genuineness with any of them either, talking girls 40s. Most had 2 or 3 kids but didn't want a guy with kids, had ex issues and were obviously damaged in the head you'd see it right there on their page but he couldn't have kids or ex's or baggage or issues . Talked 6 pack but they were, oh wait for it , a little extra weight, it was effg surreal. 95% were in total lala land tbh. Edited May 30, 2018 by Chilli
Miss Clavel Posted May 30, 2018 Posted May 30, 2018 Hello, This is all too confusing to me, and seems to take the romance and mystery out of everything. I guess I'll be going back to the fruits and vegetable isles at the local grocery store. . Just my 2 cents. Do others have this same experience? my sister met her husband at the grocery store. and there s a woman at the health center that met her hubby on match. they've been married for 6 years and they are middle-aged. maybe change websites. hell, i got banned from POF way back but my friend had a great time on ourtime until all of her meet ups looked nothing like their pictures. and they wanted sex at the speed of light. like any game, you need skilllz. and a level playing field. think of this as just wanting to make friends and concentrate on members that are the same as you. religion, politics and hobbies. good luck
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