Just need perspective after 4th date disaster...

[Myasylum]

So I met this girl online (complete differnt topic)

And this girl was just wonderful.

She waited till the 3rd date to kiss me which was fine... I was willing to wait it out because I liked her so much.

But... then the 4th date happened. I knew her about 6 weeks at that point. The date itself was good but I waited till the end to get a feel for the direction it was going.

Her responce was "I'm just meeting people and getting to know them". I was really crushed by that statement. She ask if that was fine. I just said... yea... yea... but it wasn't.

She also made some strange reverence that if people didn't want to wait for her, that was fine... she had other things to do. I did get another kiss and she left the car.

I wasn't getting warm fuzzies and seemed to create tention in the air.

However... as I've said... I really liked her and I thought about it, and figured im not dating anyone else... I should just give her the time she needs and it will work itself out.

So I ask for another date, she agreed but then ask if I had a problem with her dating other people. That just was a twist of the knife.

I couldn't do it. I said no. I can't, but I'm willing to keep thay door open in case things change, and I wished her the best.

Well, I never heard from her again, and she blocked me fron the dating site. I thought I was being more than humble as apreicative. Her reaction I found to be kind of harsh.

However, I can't help but to wonder If I screwed it up and should have given her more time. She did mention something about giving her the time she needs... I just wasn't willing to share that time with everyone else.

Even though it was a short amount of time I was kind of bummed about the whole thing. .

You think I should have given it more time? Or were there signal that this just wasn't going to work?

I know I need to move on and all that. Just looking for a outside prospective.

Thanks... and sorry so wordy.

[I'veseenbetterlol]

So I met this girl online (complete differnt topic)

And this girl was just wonderful.

She waited till the 3rd date to kiss me which was fine... I was willing to wait it out because I liked her so much.

But... then the 4th date happened. I knew her about 6 weeks at that point. The date itself was good but I waited till the end to get a feel for the direction it was going.

Her responce was "I'm just meeting people and getting to know them". I was really crushed by that statement. She ask if that was fine. I just said... yea... yea... but it wasn't.

She also made some strange reverence that if people didn't want to wait for her, that was fine... she had other things to do. I did get another kiss and she left the car.

I wasn't getting warm fuzzies and seemed to create tention in the air.

However... as I've said... I really liked her and I thought about it, and figured im not dating anyone else... I should just give her the time she needs and it will work itself out.

So I ask for another date, she agreed but then ask if I had a problem with her dating other people. That just was a twist of the knife.

I couldn't do it. I said no. I can't, but I'm willing to keep thay door open in case things change, and I wished her the best.

Well, I never heard from her again, and she blocked me fron the dating site. I thought I was being more than humble as apreicative. Her reaction I found to be kind of harsh.

However, I can't help but to wonder If I screwed it up and should have given her more time. She did mention something about giving her the time she needs... I just wasn't willing to share that time with everyone else.

Even though it was a short amount of time I was kind of bummed about the whole thing. .

You think I should have given it more time? Or were there signal that this just wasn't going to work?

I know I need to move on and all that. Just looking for a outside prospective.

Thanks... and sorry so wordy.

 

She was making an excuse to reject you nicely. Good thing you didn't give her time, she would never be ready for you. If she comes back, do not give in as she will do the same thing to you. Def sucks and I would rather be rejected instead of given false hope. Continue dating and don't hang your hopes on anyone until its a bit more official.

[Chilli]

Yep , same as above.

All bs man just try and forget about her.

[coolheadal]

So I met this girl online (complete differnt topic)

And this girl was just wonderful.

She waited till the 3rd date to kiss me which was fine... I was willing to wait it out because I liked her so much.

But... then the 4th date happened. I knew her about 6 weeks at that point. The date itself was good but I waited till the end to get a feel for the direction it was going.

Her responce was "I'm just meeting people and getting to know them". I was really crushed by that statement. She ask if that was fine. I just said... yea... yea... but it wasn't.

She also made some strange reverence that if people didn't want to wait for her, that was fine... she had other things to do. I did get another kiss and she left the car.

I wasn't getting warm fuzzies and seemed to create tention in the air.

However... as I've said... I really liked her and I thought about it, and figured im not dating anyone else... I should just give her the time she needs and it will work itself out.

So I ask for another date, she agreed but then ask if I had a problem with her dating other people. That just was a twist of the knife.

I couldn't do it. I said no. I can't, but I'm willing to keep thay door open in case things change, and I wished her the best.

Well, I never heard from her again, and she blocked me fron the dating site. I thought I was being more than humble as apreicative. Her reaction I found to be kind of harsh.

However, I can't help but to wonder If I screwed it up and should have given her more time. She did mention something about giving her the time she needs... I just wasn't willing to share that time with everyone else.

Even though it was a short amount of time I was kind of bummed about the whole thing. .

You think I should have given it more time? Or were there signal that this just wasn't going to work?

I know I need to move on and all that. Just looking for a outside prospective.

Thanks... and sorry so wordy.

 

Well remember your doing the same thing she's doing your dating. No commitments in dating. So she's doing whatever you she pleases with you. You date her and you take her out for dinner. You have to pay for the meals. I had a woman like this once. I had grown tired of her because all she wanted me to do was go and pick her up and take her out to the movies, dinner only. We really didn't do anything else. How sad that was. I told her why can't I go up to your apartment and hangout with you. Never got a straight answer all I got was when your ready to go out again with me for dinner you call. I told her goodbye we're done for good. She wrote me a long text message saying she was crying and didn't understand why I didn't want to take her out for dinner ever again. Please get real. I wanted to date and get to know the person and just maybe have a relationship with. She wasn't that type of woman she was the type to go out to dinner only. Nothing else.

 

So you see these women will only date for dinner, some will still date everyone else while dating you. There is not rules to the dating game. You did the right thing, block and move on...

[Myasylum]

Where I do give the girl credit, she at least told me she was dating other people. She didn't have to say anything and just strung me along.

 

However... for her to just suddenly block me and not respond after I wished her the best, that I thought was kind of odd.

 

I guess I expected a thanks for everything, or something??

 

I guess she wasn't kidding when she said if people didn't want to wait for her that was fine, she had other things to do.

 

While honest I suppose... I just found it kind of rude/disrespectful for the time we did spend together.

[coolheadal]

Where I do give the girl credit, she at least told me she was dating other people. She didn't have to say anything and just strung me along.

 

However... for her to just suddenly block me and not respond after I wished her the best, that I thought was kind of odd.

 

I guess I expected a thanks for everything, or something??

 

I guess she wasn't kidding when she said if people didn't want to wait for her that was fine, she had other things to do.

 

While honest I suppose... I just found it kind of rude/disrespectful for the time we did spend together.

 

It doesn't matter these women exist for one purpose themselves. Nothing about you is of concern to them. That's why she told you if you didn't want to wait for her or etc. Just another lame excuse she's not interested in you at all. It's all about her not you. If she blocked you that's the best thing. If you push it she'll contact the police and then you have more trouble than you bargain for.. Just leave this woman alone and move on..

[smackie9]

Why would you find it rude? You called it quits on her, it's a done deal. She can't give you what you want, so there is no point now is there? Don't take this dating crap so seriously....you have better things to do than feel miffed that she blocked you.

[Myasylum]

It's called respect and human decency.

 

The same thing I would have done for her if the roles were reversed.

 

"Thank You for everything, sorry things didn't work out."

 

That's exactly what I would have told her, and kindly walked away. I wouldn't block her either.

[preraph]

She did the decent thing and was very honest with you that she is dating around, so you'd know. She made sure you heard her and that gave you the option of saying yes or no to it. She did nothing wrong. She is dating around. It's better than having someone sneaking around on you.

 

But if that's not something you can live with after only 3 dates and one kiss, then that's fine too. She was honest and up front and ethical about it. We tell people all the time on here to just tell someone if you're multidating so they don't get invested and then get hurt. It's best you found out up front. I understand if you're just not the guy who can handle that. I am kind of that way (I'm female). I figure if they can't focus on me for however long it takes to see where it goes, they either aren't that into me or they aren't ready for a big relationship. But that's okay. Better to know.

 

Next...

[ExpatInItaly]

It's called respect and human decency.

 

The same thing I would have done for her if the roles were reversed.

 

"Thank You for everything, sorry things didn't work out."

 

That's exactly what I would have told her, and kindly walked away. I wouldn't block her either.

 

Yes, that would have been courteous. But I have learned that we simply cannot expect others to react and behave the way we would under the same circumstances. Many times, life has showed me that it doesn't often work like that. You and she are wired differently and don't have the same thought process. What you feel is the right thing to do is not what she feels is the right thing to do.

 

I think she has been seeing others all along and if you're not comfortable with multi-dating, you were wise to call it off. She was honest that she is meeting other people, and you were true to yourself that you're not okay with that. This evidently wasn't a match.

[Lotsgoingon]

Absolutely this woman was brutally and honorably honest with you.

 

It's painful to face up to the collision between our hopes and reality. Listen to what she said. She's being up front ... not sneaking around. If her agenda doesn't fit yours ... then you move on ...

 

Period.

 

I can't tell you the number of times women have said to me something along the lines of if you just want to sleep with me and not have a relationship, then just be clear about that. Then they have a choice as to what to do ... and they know what's going on.

[Purrrfect]

First of all you did nothing wrong. You really liked her. She liked you enough to see you 4 times but she wants to keep her options open, which means she is not reciprocating the same interest.

 

Sorry this happened.

[Purrrfect]

First of all you did nothing wrong. You really liked her. She liked you enough to see you 4 times but she wants to keep her options open, which means she is not reciprocating the same interest.

 

Blocking you was a bit extreme though.

 

Sorry this happened.

[preraph]

I would just add food for thought. She went out with you three times before she even kissed, so it's not like she's just sleeping around. She's likely just dating around without sleeping around. Keeping her options open.

[Marc878]

No chemistry on her end.

 

After only 4 dates you don't know her that well. It may have been better to keep your options open but that's your decision.

 

Men can come across as needy which is a huge turnoff.

 

Cool and aloof is better.

 

Her actions after were a little over the top which does say something doesn't it.

 

They don't all work out. Accept that. Never chase.

 

Her being honest is better than being strung along.

[smackie9]

She blocked you probably because she wanted privacy, had bad reactions from other guys, and didn't want the hassle. She was only protecting her self, I know lots of women who do this. Seriously tho what does it matter to you whether she does of not. ....your interaction with her in now finished. You don't need to be sniffing around her anymore. I agree with the others, we have so many threads on here of people being strung along, all pissed off, you are damn lucky she was upfront/honest about it.

[preraph]

She blocked you probably because she wanted privacy, had bad reactions from other guys, and didn't want the hassle. She was only protecting her self, I know lots of women who do this. Seriously tho what does it matter to you whether she does of not. ....your interaction with her in now finished. You don't need to be sniffing around her anymore. I agree with the others, we have so many threads on here of people being strung along, all pissed off, you are damn lucky she was upfront/honest about it.

 

^True. I don't know if it happens to men as much as women, but I've heard complaints for years from women on dating sites because guys will get mad and start berating them. The first one I heard about from a handful of women on a childfree site I moderated. They would put right on there "I don't date men with kids or want kids" but it didn't stop them from approaching them anyway, and then when the subject came up again, they'd get mad at her for cutting them off. And I mean, get really nasty about it.

 

She's just saving herself from getting guys being persistent or right-fighting (not saying you would) or calling her names. Women have to be more careful than men. Realize she's dealing with virtual strangers and doesn't know what they're capable of so she is being careful. Walk on by.