Chrisal23 Posted May 26, 2018 Posted May 26, 2018 (edited) Hi guys, At this point, it's about 3 months after the breakup. My gf was the one who initiated it. We were arguing constantly towards the later months of our relationship and I'll admit that I was being needy. She was going through a lot of stress with her final year in college and I wasn't as supportive. Here's the background: I'd say 90% of the time when we were together we rarely argued. We did argue like normal couples but for the most part, we got along and enjoyed our time together. During the 2 years we were together we did wonder how our relationship would work after my ex graduated. She was residing in a different state at the time and would move back home once she'd finished school. Towards the later months of this year, we argued more and more. She became stressed with school and I became stressed about our future. Eventually, we'd met on a Saturday and started hanging out as usual. By the end of the night, we both were irritated and she broke it off. Days passed and I caved in. I texted her, pleaded and tried to convince her to see me (big mistake). I'd asked her if we could have a "closure" talk, but this was just an excuse to see her one more time. She answered but still stated that she saw no future with me (at least now). I still pursued but not as often. I started texting her and attempting to see her the first few weeks but in 1-week spans. She kept rejecting me and eventually I'd grown tired and eventually stopped completely. Eventually, my ex-reached out but I didn't answer. I texted back stating that we didn't need to meet for our "closure" talk. She agreed and I kept moving forward. Part of me felt bad because I still wanted to be with her but I didn’t want to relive the breakup. Fast forward and 3 weeks later my ex-called again. I didn't answer this time either. She left a voice stating she was sorry for her mistakes in the relationship. I felt she was being genuine but instead of returning her call I texted her a day later. I called her the next morning and verbally apologized. We wished each other a great day and went on with our lives. At this point, it was 3 weeks before my ex-was about to graduate. I'd previously planned to at least show up in her graduation just because I'd been part of her journey. I wanted to show support and love to someone who was accomplishing something important. After hearing what my ex's mom had told me I shifted my feelings 360. I became committed and although she broke up with me I wanted to at least see her as much as I could now that she would be leaving in a few weeks. I called her and before I knew it we'd agreed to meet up. The first time we saw each other it felt a little odd but after an hour or so we were comfortable. We went out for drinks and said bye. At this point, she'd also invited me to her graduation. She felt the same way and wanted me to take part of an important part of her life. Fast forward a few days and we saw each other more but didn't text as much. Her parents were flying in and I'd offered to help take her to the airport. During this time we hung out more often. I'd also offered to help her move out from her dorm, and take her family out to eat, or different locations. During these days, my ex-confessed that she was feeling pressured by her mom to be in a relationship with me. This obviously didn't feel good on my end and I agreed to put less pressure to insinuate the same thing. One night she'd confessed that we were compatible. She saw us having a stable relationship and family but that she didn't think we had much in common vs 1 common trait. She'd said she wanted to be "head over heels" for a man and not just in a stable relationship. She'd also mentioned that her family loved me, but that didn't help me feel any better. Fast forward and it was time for my ex to leave back home. Her flight was later that night so we did hang out on last time. It was a mixture of good and sad. I was happy to spend more time with ex but felt sad she was leaving to another state. It's been 4 days since we'd said goodbye and I feel devastated. Time is helping but overall I feel heartbroken. I feel like the state I'm in is empty. I'd always wanted to move out and now more than ever I'm planning to move out. This is not with the motive of chasing my ex but more for me. I still cling to a small thread of hope. I'm working on myself to be a better man. I can look back and see that my relationship with my ex-wasn't perfect, but overall I did enjoy it. I'd appreciate your advice or words of motivation to help me keep moving forward. Edited May 26, 2018 by Chrisal23
preraph Posted May 26, 2018 Posted May 26, 2018 Move and get a fresh start. You have your whole life ahead of you. You deserve someone who loves you back in that special way, not someone whose parents want to marry her off. It's your life now, and consideration for her should no longer play any part in it. You go forward with your pursuit of career and your whole perspective will change and your circle of friends will expand. Change is usually good. Don't let yourself just shut down. Stay busy and make deliberate plans to go do fun things to take your mind off it. Distract yourself and do not allow yourself to think about it all the time. It can too easily become a habit. You must deliberately find balance in activities and being social and not let yourself wallow. Good luck.
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