Questions for those who have either reconciled or find themselves in the process

[Neruda20]

For those on the path to reconciliation, what was the catalyst that began the process? Who initiated? If you were in no contact, how long before you started communicating again?

[marky00]

Successful Reconciliation is so rare.

 

You have more chance winning lottery.

 

And yes I have tried to reconcile but the person who dumped always goes back to feeling that way and dumps again eventually.

[Happy Lemming]

Yes... I had one successful reconciliation. She dumped me. Her stupid friends didn't like me & convinced her she could do better, blah, blah, blah. After about 18 months, all of those "so-called" friends were gone and she felt she had made a mistake breaking up with me. She contacted me as I had been full "no contact". I also had been dating around, but nothing serious with anyone.

 

We got back together and things were going well. I don't remember how long we were back together, but she had a HUGE family emergency and had to move away. I agreed she should move away and take care of her family. We did part company on a friendly basis this time. Maybe some day, she'll move back and hopefully she'll contact me.

 

So the catalyst was my ex decided to stop letting her so-called friends sponge off of her. At which point, she came to the realization that she had lost a great guy that she really liked. She contacted me, as I had gone full "no contact" (which I always do when I get dumped) and the time period was about 18 months.

 

Hope this helps...

 

Blue skies...

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

For those on the path to reconciliation, what was the catalyst that began the process? Who initiated? If you were in no contact, how long before you started communicating again?

 

He initiated. The catalyst was us being co-parents and just finally getting along I guess. We both interpreted that as a sign we should try again.

 

We were dead wrong.

[ItsJustMyOpinion]

Broke with up a woman about 2 years ago, took about a year off from each other, we got back together earlier this year after we both realized we had missed each other.

 

Same problems surfaced from before. She is in contact with guys she used to mess around with and hid the communication from me, same exact reason I broke up with her to begin with. This started fights and arguments between us that have carried on even to this day. I've begun to treat her like an ex girlfriend and she can sense it.

 

Unless things change in a very major way, we'll be breaking up officially again very soon.

 

My advice: If you want to reconcile with an ex, make sure the issues that caused your initial relationship to fall apart are addressed right away. If those issues still exist, work through them, or let each other go, because it will more often than not end because of those same issues.

[somanymistakes]

There was a catalyst but the most important thing was being in the right frame of mind for that to set things off. I had to want to change, I had to decide I was unhappy with my life. No amount of signs was going to steer my course until then.

[Murmillo]

Successful Reconciliation is so rare.

 

You have more chance winning lottery.

 

And yes I have tried to reconcile but the person who dumped always goes back to feeling that way and dumps again eventually.

 

 

Just because it never happened to you does not mean it is more rare than winning the lotery.