Guitarisgood Posted May 19, 2018 Posted May 19, 2018 Forgive me everyone. I am relatively inexperience at this part and being in it for the long haul. I am currently dating this girl for around 6 months. Initially she chased and then I relented and we decided we wanted to pursue things more. Thing is, she is a nurse not to mention of eastern Europe background where she values family priority wise. I even got the joking 'I have never dated someone for this long'. Likewise the same. Due to those main factors, I mainly see her once or twice a week as she pens a night with me in between her parents, grandparents etc. When I don't see her I am only getting brief messages nowadays (when we use to text a lot like she was putting effort into it). Sometimes I am double texting or she'll immediately answer my reply then disappear. When I haven't replied; we can go a day or so without talking. The lack of communication is the main thing that gets me as when we do meet up we pretty much go at it like rabbits and she'll care and cook for me and what not like a couple. But again, I am relatively new at this 'relationship' thing so would like some opinions. This early on (I guess) in a relationship, is the lack of texting normal? I thought during the honey moon period, you'd be wanting to see each other as much as you can etc etc.
d0nnivain Posted May 19, 2018 Posted May 19, 2018 I wasn't a big texter. The technology didn't really exist & was just developing when DH & I got married. Conventional wisdom seems to indicate that by 6 months there should be daily contact even if it's just a good morning / good night text. Talk to her about your specific expectations & tell her what you want. For example, when DH & I were dating he'd give me cards signed with his name. That was the only writing on the card. No Dear D0nnivain, No message, no Love, his name, just his name. It drove me up a wall. Yes, it's petty & silly but it was my "thing". Now he addresses cards properly because I explained my very specific requests. You can't be vague when you expect a partner to change in some way.
carhill Posted May 20, 2018 Posted May 20, 2018 IMO, six months of twice a week dating isn't 'early on'. At that point the groundwork for an established relationship should be there, presuming that's what the people want. GF isn't a mind reader. Tell her what you want. Don't bark orders, rather tell her how you feel. Example: 'I really love hearing from you every day honey; it makes my day [kiss kiss]' Do it in person. Not phone, not text. Also discuss relationship goals. Ask open ended questions. Don't interrogate. Have you shared ILY's and, if so, for how long? If 'going at it like rabbits' means sex, hows that going? You shared that she chased you. Balance is key. Chase her a little. Flirt, be sassy with a humorous edge. Have you met her family? If so, how did that go? If not, do you want to? If you do, ask her. Chase a little. Be proactive. 1
coolheadal Posted May 20, 2018 Posted May 20, 2018 Forgive me everyone. I am relatively inexperience at this part and being in it for the long haul. I am currently dating this girl for around 6 months. Initially she chased and then I relented and we decided we wanted to pursue things more. Thing is, she is a nurse not to mention of eastern Europe background where she values family priority wise. I even got the joking 'I have never dated someone for this long'. Likewise the same. Due to those main factors, I mainly see her once or twice a week as she pens a night with me in between her parents, grandparents etc. When I don't see her I am only getting brief messages nowadays (when we use to text a lot like she was putting effort into it). Sometimes I am double texting or she'll immediately answer my reply then disappear. When I haven't replied; we can go a day or so without talking. The lack of communication is the main thing that gets me as when we do meet up we pretty much go at it like rabbits and she'll care and cook for me and what not like a couple. But again, I am relatively new at this 'relationship' thing so would like some opinions. This early on (I guess) in a relationship, is the lack of texting normal? I thought during the honey moon period, you'd be wanting to see each other as much as you can etc etc. No. 1 she's a nurse (her schedule is up in the air and worst if she's RN or Staff Nurse) No. 2 Her family comes first No. 3 Texting so much doesn't mean your going to expect her to continue texting so much. Got to understand you have to have patients with her. Let your commentate with you when she have the time too do so. You could also call and talk with your voice instead of the text. If you know where she works send her flowers but don't show up at the work place she might be so busy she can't see you. Send short text out when will you get off from work? I was thinking about having dinner my treat, just need to know if your busy or free tonight. Things like that you can suggest at best.
carhill Posted May 20, 2018 Posted May 20, 2018 The FSU women I dated in-country were very territorial if they liked me. The most successful experience, with an ER doctor, left a clear impression I was on her mind on a daily basis, enough that her work at the hospital was a minor sideshow. However, she was much older than the OP's dating partner and had been an army doctor (Soviet) prior to the independence. Like the OP's dating partner, she was very into her family and her kids and grandkids were often around the house (apartment in her case) and I was included in family stuff, though not always. That was fine. OP, do you feel you and your partner are on the same page regarding intimacy in general and styles of intimacy in particular? Compatibility in that area is crucial. I get the impression that she can take you or leave you, enjoying your time together and you being out of mind otherwise. She chased to 'get' you, now she's idling along. For some people, that style works fine. Others not. You can decide for yourself. FWIW, in general, this period is when people are on their best behavior if being attracted to someone so as not to disappoint or drive them away. Over time the frog gets boiled one degree at a time and pretty soon who they really are is there without embellishments. What remains is if the parties being who they really are is compatible.
preraph Posted May 20, 2018 Posted May 20, 2018 If she's a nurse, she doesn't have any time on her hands at work. If she's with family most of the rest of the time, she's busy then too. I think the main thing is if you think she is too involved with family such that you are a lower priority. Now, that doesn't matter dating, but it matters everything if you think of marriage. You want a spouse who puts you over everyone else except your future kids.
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