I’m 23 my boyfriend is 31 the girl he was “trying” to date is 21

[d0nnivain]

He threw you in there hoping she'd get jealous & that would motivate her to do what he wanted.

[Devencianna]

He threw you in there hoping she'd get jealous & that would motivate her to do what he wanted.

 

Make sense now, thanks for answering !

[Devencianna]

Thanks everyone for all of your answers and help.

 

 

I assumed he told her he met someone=move on,

She begged for him back and he told her to move on he didn’t want her and was tired of her situation. I guess I’m being naive after reading the responses and now I’m being used as a jealousy tactic I’ve decided to move on

[Devencianna]

Not competing for him . Dumping him today

[ShaniaP96]

Ugh. He’s creepy she was his first choice until she became increasingly unavailable, he also sucks at being alone. He still cares about her

[Normm]

If he left her for you he'll leave you for her (the two "hers" can be completely different people this isn't about who they are it's about who HE is).

 

 

It's clear what you have with him and it's not what you or anyone wants.

[Devencianna]

If he left her for you he'll leave you for her (the two "hers" can be completely different people this isn't about who they are it's about who HE is).

 

 

It's clear what you have with him and it's not what you or anyone wants.

 

According to another poster he didn’t leave her for me he’s with me because i give him something she can’t. He apparently needs a girl to validate hisself and he isn’t secure enough to be alone

[preraph]

You did real good listening to your initial instinct on this. By the way, I had a friend years ago who I had no idea he was one of these guys who can't ever be alone and I'd known him for 3 years. Then he and his wife separated, all kind of mysterious, and he came wanting to be with me. He had another woman who'd been chasing him who lived out of town, even while he was married. I was not in a good place to be with him, having just had a traumatic breakup with someone I loved, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. And I was in such a state that I just didn't have much willpower left. Anyway, I mean, he could not be single for 24 hours much less months to get his divorce over with. That's so crazy.

 

Unfortunately, in retrospect, I think how that probably played out is he was juggling me and the out of town one while acting serious with me, mentioning the M word right away, and then once I broke off with him, she immediately moved to town and in with him and ended up married shortly thereafter. So I guess I have a little trouble with these guys who can't be alone because you can see how it can affect a relationship.

[Devencianna]

You did real good listening to your initial instinct on this. By the way, I had a friend years ago who I had no idea he was one of these guys who can't ever be alone and I'd known him for 3 years. Then he and his wife separated, all kind of mysterious, and he came wanting to be with me. He had another woman who'd been chasing him who lived out of town, even while he was married. I was not in a good place to be with him, having just had a traumatic breakup with someone I loved, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. And I was in such a state that I just didn't have much willpower left. Anyway, I mean, he could not be single for 24 hours much less months to get his divorce over with. That's so crazy.

 

Unfortunately, in retrospect, I think how that probably played out is he was juggling me and the out of town one while acting serious with me, mentioning the M word right away, and then once I broke off with him, she immediately moved to town and in with him and ended up married shortly thereafter. So I guess I have a little trouble with these guys who can't be alone because you can see how it can affect a relationship.

 

 

 

Why are these guys afraid to be alone? What’s wrong with being single? Why do they need someone to be by their side ... they will never adapt to being alone unless if one day they are forced to

 

 

Another thing i find odd about my situation is he speaks very nicely about the other girl (21yrold) he always tells me stories and things she’s so and help him out with and how she was there for him... but you left her?? That’s why i was confused this girl did all of this for you but you up and left her kind of felt like he didn’t care despite what others are saying.

[Normm]

According to another poster he didn’t leave her for me he’s with me because i give him something she can’t.

 

 

If your information about your boyfriend is coming from another poster there are bigger problems here.

[Devencianna]

If your information about your boyfriend is coming from another poster there are bigger problems here.

 

Do you honestly think he’s going to tell me I’m his second choice ? Lol no

[Normm]

Do you honestly think he’s going to tell me I’m his second choice ? Lol no

 

 

From what I know about your relationship I doubt he'd be honest with you about anything that might get him in trouble.

[Devencianna]

From what I know about your relationship I doubt he'd be honest with you about anything that might get him in trouble.

 

That’s true, but i didn’t even know he was with me because he didn’t want to be alone or because he couldn’t have the first girl how he truely wanted her. He’s with me to get her jealous

[Normm]

He’s with me to get her jealous

 

 

Is that an acceptable reason to you?

 

 

Doesn't seem like a good basis for building a solid, long term relationship, that's all.

[Devencianna]

Of course not i was so big headed that i came to this forum only to realize he isn’t with me for the right reasons

[Normm]

Glad we could help.

 

 

 

Now you got some breaking up to do!

[Devencianna]

Glad we could help.

 

 

 

Now you got some breaking up to do!

 

Thanks for helping!

[preraph]

There will be other guys!