zanesfan Posted March 25, 2018 Posted March 25, 2018 I met this guy (41) online and after meeting briefly I decided I wasn't ready to date him. 1.5 years later, I realize he is still online so I reach out. We instantly connect. He never talked about sex or even tried to have sex with me in over 6 weeks. After a month, he took me to meet his friends and on several occasions we went out to parties and he would hold my hand, dance with me all night, and admit he really liked me. One morning he came to my apt at 5 am and took me to the airport an hour away and came back and picked me up. He would come over and cook for me and clean up my apt if I had to go into work. He would call me 3 times a week and we would text every day. He invited me to a cabin trip that his friends take every year (June 2018) and I invited him to a wedding and he agreed to go. He also invited me to his brothers house party 2 weeks in advance and we went. We've taken pictures together, gone out for breakfast, hung out with his friends, he's shared some of his upbringing with me, and brought me some cookies that I love as a surprise but.... still something was VERY OFF WITH HIM. I never went to his place in 2 months. He said his parents were living with him because their floors were being repaired. He lied to me and said his name was Randy and later admitted it was Larry. Some nights he would stay over and other nights he wouldn't (even though he was welcomed), I'm not quit sure if he even has a job. I asked him did he have a girlfriend or wife and he said no. We were always out in public and his dating profile was visible so I didn't know what to think. I kept breaking things off because my gut was in full alarm blaze. The straw that broke the camels back was after 2 months, I assume we were dating exclusively. We made plans to take trips together, I met his friends, we talked about wanting to be together, we are having sex, and we were in constant communication. But one of my hair stylist said he tried to talk to her online. I broke things off and he lied and said someone else logged into his acct because he hasnt logged in in weeks (another lie). Due to all the lies, I just broke things off for good. I guess my question is why do men do this? I don't feel like it was about sex because he has come over with aunt flo being present (I offered to do other things to him and he said he could wait). Sometimes after dancing all night we would come to my place and crash without sex. He showed me pda in and outside the home. He was always a gentleman and made sure I was safe and felt protected. I just don't get it.
caenlaes Posted March 25, 2018 Posted March 25, 2018 He is hiding something for sure, I think that deep down he is a genuine guy, he acts nice as you described, but has a long distance relationship or something. 1
preraph Posted March 25, 2018 Posted March 25, 2018 Most men don't do what he did. You need to stick with your red flags on him because he's a big liar. He's hiding something and it's probably a wife or a family somewhere that he's not married into. He's also clearly not trying to be exclusive. Great that he's not just popping right into bed, but it doesn't undo the fact that he's been a liar. Liars never change. If you know in that long and you don't even know if he has a job, obviously there's something very shady about him. 1
Flame Aura Posted March 26, 2018 Posted March 26, 2018 Men don't act like that. Boys do. You need to find yourself a man not a boy.
Happy Lemming Posted March 26, 2018 Posted March 26, 2018 As far as the two names... I legally changed my name about 20 years, ago. People who know me from before that time use my old name and people who I met after the name change know me as my new name. I'll answer to both. Could "Randy" be a legal alias for "Larry"?? I have no idea about the rest of his actions, though.
BaileyB Posted March 26, 2018 Posted March 26, 2018 Something is off alright... This guy has a problem with the truth.
ZA Dater Posted March 26, 2018 Posted March 26, 2018 In the absence of honesty very little good can grow.
stillafool Posted March 26, 2018 Posted March 26, 2018 Never have sex with a man or consider yourself in a relationship without viewing where he lives. If you don't know where he lives anything could happen. He was not your boyfriend because you don't know enough about him.
kendahke Posted March 26, 2018 Posted March 26, 2018 (edited) The question is: why do PEOPLE do this? Women do this too. They do it because they can... they believe no one will run a check on who/what they are. They count on people not wanting to be impolite in order to get over. When the first red flag went up the mast, you didn't wax impolite on him. Being impolite meant that what he was doing for you would be taken away, so you didn't check him out. Edited March 26, 2018 by kendahke
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