jogaker Posted March 22, 2018 Posted March 22, 2018 My boyfriend sends me long Goodmorning messages every morning and occasionally throughout the day. He always says “your the only girl for me” And “your the only girl i will ever want” And “I’m yours and only yours” And things like that. I have a history of being cheated on so i won’t deny that I’ve been paranoid. I’ve spoken my fears to him so I’m not sure if he is trying reassure me or if it’s a guilty conscience? Opinions?
alphamale Posted March 22, 2018 Posted March 22, 2018 we need more info to make any kind of judgement 2
basil67 Posted March 22, 2018 Posted March 22, 2018 Sounds to me like he's damned no matter what he does. If he's very loving, you're suspicious. And I'll lay money that if he's more distant, you'll be suspicious. Can you describe what would make you comfortable? 4
happyhusband0005 Posted March 22, 2018 Posted March 22, 2018 He's is aware of your paranoia so he is being proactive in trying to build you up. 2
d0nnivain Posted March 22, 2018 Posted March 22, 2018 I agree with the damned if he does, damned if he doesn't analysis. Tell us exactly what he can do to make you happy? I suspect nothing because you never dealt with your issues about being cheated on previously. 2
kendahke Posted March 22, 2018 Posted March 22, 2018 My boyfriend sends me long Goodmorning messages every morning and occasionally throughout the day. He always says “your the only girl for me” And “your the only girl i will ever want” And “I’m yours and only yours” And things like that. It would grate on me that he doesn't know the difference between your and you're, but that's me. I have a history of being cheated on so i won’t deny that I’ve been paranoid. I’ve spoken my fears to him so I’m not sure if he is trying reassure me or if it’s a guilty conscience? Opinions?Why in God's name would it be a guilty conscience? What proof do you have that he's done something about which he should be guilty? You're basically judging him as a cheater based on what someone else did to you. How much time elapsed between your last failed relationship and this one? If your paranoia is such, then perhaps you're not emotionally ready to be in a relationship until you've resolved this completely. You are borrowing trouble where there is none and one day, he's going to get sick of being esteemed for something he had absolutely no part in. That's quite unfair of you to treat him this way if he's done nothing to deserve the treatment. What your ex's did is on your ex's, not him. 5
mortensorchid Posted March 24, 2018 Posted March 24, 2018 Need more information about you and him before I can say something.
Author jogaker Posted March 26, 2018 Author Posted March 26, 2018 we need more info to make any kind of judgement We’ve been together for 6 months. I’ve gone through his phone once, which I’m not proud of but i let my insecurities get the best of me and he was sitting beside me and told me i could. I checked Facebook, text messages, Snapchat, and even his searc history on safari and found nothing. He’s cried about how much he loves me and how he would never hurt me but he’s currently away for work for 40 days and the distance is messing with my head. It’s like deep down i know he’d never do anything to hurt me but then i still have this feeling that i should be worried. Idk if it’s my “gut feeling” or if it’s just my anxiety. Therefore idk if his constant reassurance and saying he’s jot cheating on me is him trying to convince me or his guilty conscience
kendahke Posted March 26, 2018 Posted March 26, 2018 Sorry, that's still no excuse. How much time elapsed between your last failed relationship and this one? You're not done with the aftermath of your previous relationships and therefore, are not in the correct frame of mind to be in this relationship. You're making him pay for what someone else did and that's not fair. There is rapidly coming the day where he's done with this foolishness. He's crying now, but soon enough, those tears are going to dry up and his spine will steel up. If he wanted to cheat on you, he would. That's just the plain truth of it. Right now, it's the furthest thing from his mind, but if you keep accusing him and judging him as a cheater, he may figure "why not since that's the way she thinks of me?" Your actions and beliefs will create that which you fear the most because that's what you're investing in. Either you trust him or you don't and if you don't, why are you, again, with someone you can't trust?
BaileyB Posted March 26, 2018 Posted March 26, 2018 My boyfriend sends me long Goodmorning messages every morning and occasionally throughout the day. He always says “your the only girl for me” And “your the only girl i will ever want” And “I’m yours and only yours” And things like that. I have a history of being cheated on so i won’t deny that I’ve been paranoid. I’ve spoken my fears to him so I’m not sure if he is trying reassure me or if it’s a guilty conscience? Opinions? I can appreciate how distance and not being together can mess with your head... But, if a guy said that to me, I would think that it is insecurity. This is very unhealthy behavior.
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