Contrariwise Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I recently went on vacation and basically camped out on a deserted island. Completely unplugged for several days. It was great. I don't spend a huge amount of time on social media, but it reminded me of growing up without all of our modern "connections" to people. So, when I got home, I deleted all of my social media accounts and so far it has been kind of refreshing. However, it has dawned on me, this may be a bad move for dating. I'm just curious how many people make dating decisions based on whether someone is on social media or not? Are you creeped out if they don't have an online presence? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 What I've noticed is that not having a marked or purposeful online social presence can limit both social and business opportunities. Think of it as thinning the pool as with any other choice. Lack of presence hasn't interferred with existing long-time real world relationships but when I'm gazing out at the ocean while others are buried in their phones it is sometimes difficult to not feel out of sync with things. Such is life. Glad to read you had an unplugged vacation. I notice my most rested parts on such vacations are my eyes 3 Link to post Share on other sites
heavenonearth Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I am quite active on social media, my partner is not. He uses FB sporadically but I am on all the apps and sites. I think it is a positive thing when someone is not wasting their life on social media. I really wish I was better at limiting my time on the internet.... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I am quite active on social media, my partner is not. He uses FB sporadically but I am on all the apps and sites. I think it is a positive thing when someone is not wasting their life on social media. I really wish I was better at limiting my time on the internet.... I agree. If I were dating again, I would consider it a huge plus if the guy was not active on social media. It may not make sense, but I actually find it a turnoff for a man to be as active as I am (I’m not overly active, but I do use FB and IG daily). 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Biscous Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 You gotta stunt on social media nowadays OP. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I'm one who considers it a HUGE plus if a guy is NOT active on social media. In fact, it's pretty close to a deal breaker unless he has a business or cause or something that requires him to be active otherwise I really don't see the point in it. The last 4 relationships I've been in, including my current one, were with men who not only weren't active but either deactivated their accounts or never had any to begin with. Love it! As I've said many times on here already, I have a Facebook account but it's locked down tight and I only have it because of family and friends who live abroad. My circle is small and very select and I don't 'play' or waste time posting unnecessary crap on there. I also have an IG account which is a fairly recent acquisition. That was more for work as having a social media following in my line of work is considered an asset and quite valuable. I rarely post anything there either which should tell you how bad I am at social media, or at least for personal use. It just doesn't even occur to me to snap and share things everyday, ugh. My goal is to get off the grid altogether one day soon. Fingers crossed. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 What I've noticed is that not having a marked or purposeful online social presence can limit both social and business opportunities. Think of it as thinning the pool as with any other choice. Lack of presence hasn't interferred with existing long-time real world relationships but when I'm gazing out at the ocean while others are buried in their phones it is sometimes difficult to not feel out of sync with things. Such is life. My experience has been the same. The main relationships in my life haven't suffered at all. From time to time I take a quick glimpse to remind me why I don't post on Facebook anymore, and that sets me straight very quickly. I find that with most things in life you get what effort you put in. There are no "free' friends on Facebook or LinkedIn, they are just contacts. You need to work on what is important to you way beyond a social network. I would welcome a person without a social network presence. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Contrariwise Posted March 22, 2018 Author Share Posted March 22, 2018 Wow, I did not expect these answers. I would not have guessed that not having an online presence is actually desirable. That gives me some reassurance. Thanks for the replies! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I prefer men not on social media. My BF is nowhere online, l have FB and l am blood related to my 72 friends. With the latest in the news l am seriously considering deleting it. My daughter's boyfriend is 28, he's nowhere online and she loves it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I am not dating.... But for me, social media is pretty vital for my social life. Most of my friends send invites to their birthday parties, BBQs and other get togethers via FB. If you don't have FB, its easy to get left out. I have turned acquaintances to friends via FB. Things like a post "I have one extra ticket to a concert, who wants to come with?" turn into new opportunities to meet and socialize with people. For my husband, its a must for his work, making connections, announcing events etc. I never play silly games on there, my friend list is less than 200, limited to people I know in real life. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Well, remember a few things about social media - it will provide you with more information that someone may WANT you to know about them. Recently I had an internet date with this guy about two/three months ago. Aside from the fact I realized he was not that into me after a day or two after our meeting, I went to his Facebook by looking up his phone number. He was (or said he was) separated. Well, why are there still wedding pictures up of him and his estranged wife? And she was the one who was cheating on him? I find that odd. As soon as another buddy of mine and his now ex wife were on the rocks, he took down every photo of him and her or her by herself or her with one or all of their kids from social media. Needless to say it didn't go anywhere, but that's for the best because I didn't trust the situation. If social media did not exist, I never would have found out about this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I have a mini online professional presence (I have to have a Twitter account for work but I only use it for research). I also have super restricted FB account that I use more as a way to keep in touch with friends' in case they or I move (I'm not very well organised). I barely use it myself - there are only so many pictures of cutes cats I can handle. All my fb connections are close friends or relatives, with a couple of school mums because I can't say no. Even though I'm not keen on social media myself, I don't have an issue with people who are and have no preference one way or the other. It's not harmful when not used in excess. I was having a conversation with a friend who works in HR, and she was saying that checking prospective job candidates' social media is part of the screening process for some employers; if you don't have one at all, some can view it negatively. Also, people have been sacked for past posts on social media, so I guess you have to be mindful of your online presence from any angle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Contrariwise Posted March 22, 2018 Author Share Posted March 22, 2018 If social media did not exist, I never would have found out about this. This is kind of along the line of what I was expecting the responses to be. I would have thought people preferred that the person they are interested in had a social media account so that they could be "verified". Though, I guess anyone can create any appearance they want on social media Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 I am old enough to collect SS. I never had any social media. I never IM'd. Never sent a text. Minimal e mail use. The phone still rules for me. When I want to meet up with a friend it is a 30 second talk. What are you doing, or what are you up to. One or two word answer. I am doing this or doing that. Then followed up with coming over later. Followed with a yes. We meet. Then we catch up and talk. You know interact in person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 (edited) Of course it's not necessary , why would it be. The world and people were in a much lesser mess 20 or 30 yrs ago and for all of time before, than they are now. It's total bs. l can't even believe people fall for it , well except kids but eh , even my 16yr old says all the things l just said and she's been out of it for 12mths now. She's even thinking about giving up the damn phone. l threw mine in a river once , feel like throwing this one in a river too and l don't even carry it on me or hardly ever answer calls, but then the mesages and people tracking you down still drive you insane. Take my sanity and life back. Computers , will be the curse of this century l think and forever now. Big brother, satiates ,tracking everything, talking in forums to people you can't even see instead of being out and living a real life,, date sites and 50 other things. It hasn't even begun. Edited March 23, 2018 by Chilli 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 For a social life? Definitely need social media. It's by far the easiest way to manage organising an event with a medium to large group of people - I can just invite people through Facebook rather than try to call/message 10+ people. It's the most reliable way of contacting people you haven't seen in a long time - people lose phones, get new numbers, move house multiple times and stop checking old email addresses. It's a lot easier to keep track with social media, and I find it difficult to stay in contact with anyone who doesn't have an account. Sure it can be a bit of a time suck sometimes but from my perspective it does more good than evil. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
HiCrunchy Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 I use Facebook like a 35 year old as my co worker state's. I deleted the other forms of social media that aren't anonymous. Only think I have are Facebook and LinkedIn. Facebook is good for organizing events so it really good in that respect. I only make sure to go on about one a week and have email notifications set up so if there is a birthday I care about or an event that is interesting then I can log on. I deleted messenger off my phone tho. Only people that know me well enough to have my number should be allowed to have such easy access to me Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 I used to date using a rotary phone mounted on the wall in the kitchen with a 6 foot handset cord. My grandma figured out how to "go mobile" by replacing the cord with a longer one so she could cook and do dishes while talking on it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 I used to date using a rotary phone mounted on the wall in the kitchen with a 6 foot handset cord. OMG!! We had the same phone!! (LOL) I also had the answering machine with the old cassette tapes in it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 l miss the landline days. Coming home or sometime through the evening pressing the message button, when your ready. The peace of mind living that way as compared to shyt coming in on your mobile 24 7 these days, is mind boggling. Your checking it , or it's doing something, or your spending a fortune on a new one, or your running out of battery, or you have 5million apps doing crap or some ridiculous thing, or messages coming in anytime day or night and on and on it goes. lt's hard to walk away from the convenience of them now though , that's my trouble, l even run my business via text. My camera, calculator, even my alarm clock, and on and on. The other thing is here , running a landline is 3 times the cost of running a mobile phone , even though you've gotta buy this expensive phone first that only lastsa few years, so it's just not practical to stick with just a landline in the house. l use to think texting would help avoid a lot of crap and with my business it does at least save me talking to customers most of the time. But the stress and mental mind fk texting can also often open the door too , just read the singles thread, or even just with friends sometimes or whatever and the 24 7 thing about it , is the price l find. Thank God l don't do the social media bs on top of it. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 I'm like Recent Change where I find social media invaluable for organising events. It's also great for finding out about events. For example, the clubs we enjoy aren't regular and the only way to know about them is via FB. And I've made new friends via clubbing and it's FB which helps us keep in contact. Lastly, FB has many interest groups. I could never have learned some of my more obscure interests without help from the people in the interest groups. Sharing of ideas and giving assistance is what it's all about. All that said, I would not worry if someone didn't have social media. As long as they didn't have a reformed social media attitude about them or otherwise criticised my own choice to use it. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 I always said that social media was a way for them to get us used to a big brother kind of society and more control over our lives and the recent scandals make me feel vindicated. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 I always said that social media was a way for them to get us used to a big brother kind of society and more control over our lives and the recent scandals make me feel vindicated. I said FB is a fag years ago. Let's see... if the product is free, you are the product. It also collect data from your computer, not jus info you uploaded their website. you can tell by the target ads after you browsed some online store. Too Intrusive. and that's very scary...I hate the like stuff. It's like populous contest, makes you depressed. It could be a very useful means. but it's too controlling, coz the end goal for it is to make you addict and know everything about so they make more money. Give you means to conduct some useful social functions are not their goals, but means to achieve their goal. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyLibertyBelle Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 You bet. Filled with malware, facial recognition and fake crap. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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