Serious Problem!!!!!!!

[ConfusedMM]

Then if you're not going to tell her, take this ONE chance and now forget this OW and focus on your very pregnant wife. DO not ever speak or see the OW again. Say goodbye, get the closure and move on.

 

You're pleased with this outcome, take it as a blessing as a second chance. Be very strict with yourself. Stick with therapy to help you grieve and get over the OW. Better yourself and work on your issues of WHY you actually had the affair to begin with.

 

Yes I am very grateful and I am going to be very strict to myself. Tonight I think I'm going to make a very good meal for my wife and do some special things just for her. I need to focus on my career and my wife. I can't just turn off my feelings for the OW, but I won't be contacting her anymore. I know that. I know she doesn't want anything to do with me either. Thanks for all the great advice.

[whichwayisup]

I'm glad to hear that. Use that energy into your family and concentrate on JUST what is infront of you.

 

If you feel yourself slipping and wanting to call or see OW, just remember HOW CLOSE you got to being BUSTED and losing everything in your life. THAT in itself should be enough to stop you from contacting her.

 

It hurts but it has to hurt enough for you to work through it all and let go.

 

Good luck and keep posting - Go to coping section and read about in there too!

[ConfusedMM]

Glad it all went well, ConfusedMM.

 

What are you going to do a little down the road after the baby is born? Do you think he will then tell your wife? You repeatedly state your still "in-love" with OW. You think you will be able to stay completely away from her? It will only take one mistake to send him straight to your wife. And if your OW is really working on her marriage, she will tell him of even the most innocent text, email, call etc.... She needs to be an open book to him, and as such he will probably have free access to everything.

 

I hope this can be a resolution for you as well.

 

And you really should get your wife away from work, she needs to be resting up.

The due date would have to be very very soon, for the doctor to not be concerned about her dialation and labor pains...esp. since she has had a miscarriage.

 

Yes he did tell me that the OW has given him all passwords, and granted an all access for him to check into everything. Including her cell bills, her emails, texts, chats, everything! I won't contact her again. She is an open book with him. The OW is a person that once she does something she does it and thats it. So I know this is over, but it will take a long time to get over her.

 

As for my wife, I have asked her several times to give notice and take leave but she states that she wants to have the baby and then take leave. Since she is going to breast feed.

[JPMorgan]

My wife is at work, not at home. The doctor said even though she is dialated it could take a few more weeks. If you're going to start with nasty crap like that then please do me a favor JP, don't post to any of my threads anymore.

 

Get a grip dude! You said she was in labor and dilated and I asked you a question. You are the one who is so pathetically hostile.

[ConfusedMM]

Get a grip dude! You said she was in labor and dilated and I asked you a question. You are the one who is so pathetically hostile.

 

I said she is having labor pains, ie contractions already. Go about your business and do me a favor, don't post to anymore of my threads. You're the last person I really want to hear from.

[JPMorgan]

I said she is having labor pains, ie contractions already. Go about your business and do me a favor, don't post to anymore of my threads. You're the last person I really want to hear from.

 

 

I asked a question and here you are trying to provoke me. I asked a question for a couple of reasons one because your wife being in labor for a child that you claim to have planned on should be more than enough to keep your focus off your OW.

 

And because I've been thru a couple of misscariages. No doctor that I know would allow a woman to be working if she's in active labor -- i.e.: having contractions (labor pains) after already having miscarried.

 

As someone else said -- you made your bed... Whether its the situation as stated in your thread or a real story behind the 'story' --- its still your bed and you need to suck it up and deal with it.

[TUDOR]

ConfusedMM, did you learn nothing from the scare you got that this OW's hubby was ready to tell your wife and beat your ass? Do you think that he won't follow through with if you insist on trying to contact his wife? Do yourself and a favor and move on and leave her alone. You got off easy, don't make him regret that by giving him a reason to bring your world crumbling down.

 

You can get past this and move on. I know it is hard but you are playing with fire and about to seriously get burned if you don't move on and leave her alone. This is for your own good. Stop trying to contact her or it will cost you more than you know.

[PatientOne]

Actually, I found it hilarious waiting for ConfusedMM to pee his pants with the OW's husband. Pity he got off easy.

 

The question is, will he learn from this or will we be seeiing him post next year about his newest fixation. My money says he'll stop his counseling (if any) and revert to his old ways.

[ConfusedMM]

Actually, I found it hilarious waiting for ConfusedMM to pee his pants with the OW's husband. Pity he got off easy.

 

The question is, will he learn from this or will we be seeiing him post next year about his newest fixation. My money says he'll stop his counseling (if any) and revert to his old ways.

 

 

I won't have a new fixation. I can't get over this one, let alone think about any other woman. I still pine for this woman. She is the only woman I have ever felt this strongly about and this is not going to go away over night or in a matter of weeks. Right now she hasn't said anything to me. I would love nothing more than to see her again and to hold her in my arms and make love to her. Forgetting her is not as simple as focusing all my energy onto everything else. She creeps in every thought.

[TUDOR]

ConfusedMM, do yourself a favor and go look up what love and "its over" means because you are obviously clueless about the meaning of both!

[whichwayisup]

I won't have a new fixation. I can't get over this one, let alone think about any other woman. I still pine for this woman. She is the only woman I have ever felt this strongly about and this is not going to go away over night or in a matter of weeks. Right now she hasn't said anything to me. I would love nothing more than to see her again and to hold her in my arms and make love to her. Forgetting her is not as simple as focusing all my energy onto everything else. She creeps in every thought.

 

Change your ways of thinking about her. Change "I can't" into I can.

 

YOU have no choice. You must get over her, it's unhealthy for you to be in this state! She wants you to move on and she's made it easy for you...It ended in a good way. Does she have to be a b!tch to you so you can deal with this??? I know that is what you want, but it is not going to happen. Deal with it! Don't daydream about her anymore. Stop thinking of sex in general. Focus on your upcoming little baby...A baby that has nothing to do with anything but LOVE and committment, and family. This OW has no place in your life anymore ... As hard as this is for you, get her out of your head. Make the effort. Keep busy! DO things for your wife! Join a gym, workout. See a movie, DO stuff around the house. By doing this it is allowing your mind to not go where it used to go. Don't think of this OW in any sexual way. Or in a loving way. Just think of her H calling your W and breaking the news...That in itself should be enough to stop you in your tracks!

[ConfusedMM]

Tudor,

 

I know what you're saying because you talk to my exOW regularly. So you know whats going on.

 

WWIU,

 

I am obsessed and I know it is not healthy. I don't so much think of her in a sexual way as I do in a "I could spend the rest of my life with that woman" way. It is hard.

[lynnered]

I won't have a new fixation. I can't get over this one, let alone think about any other woman. I still pine for this woman. She is the only woman I have ever felt this strongly about and this is not going to go away over night or in a matter of weeks. Right now she hasn't said anything to me. I would love nothing more than to see her again and to hold her in my arms and make love to her. Forgetting her is not as simple as focusing all my energy onto everything else. She creeps in every thought.

im sorry you miss her CMM,

i understand your pain ,

you are right it will not go away overnight ,its a long miserable process that everyone at some point in life has to go through,

as times passes she will be in your thoughts less & less ,

it will get easier when the baby comes ,

my MM has left W& now he is consfused (like u:) )because of the child,

you need to focus on the baby &your family,

when baby comes you will learn a whole new love pure &beautiful,

somebody you will never want to leave,

if your marriage is not working go to MC,

if its not working after MC & doing everything possible ,then leave,get a D,

i agree with you not telling W about A,

but if you are not happy with her & will continue to cheat you should consider being single ,

goodluck

keep posting it helps getting it all out:)

[LauraBancroft]

Excuse me ladies and gentlemen while I step in here. I am the best friend of the OW he is seeing and I can tell you this guy is not playing with a full deck. He is obsessed with my friend. My friend use to be a long time poster on this forum and hasn't posted in awhile. This guy stalks her, calls her, continues to try and text her, he hasn't gotten it through his thick head that she is gone and doesn't want him. My friend is also very gorgeous and what she ever saw in this guy is beyond me. This is a guy that his face is horribly messed up by the use of drugs. This is a guy that smokes cigars and insists that he is not a smoker, this is a guy that tugged on my friends heart strings for the first few months they were involved and now that he got dumped he wants to cry, well cry me a river if you must but believe you me this guy is not playing with a full deck. If my best friends husband catches you calling her again like you did today you won't only be on here crying a river over her, but you'll also be on here talking about how you got the hell kicked out of you. Move on buddy.

 

Oh and it wasn't the wisest of choices for you to out that Tudor talks to her outside this forum. Grow up J, it's time to throw in the towel and move on. I can understand when the vagina is so good you don't want to give it up but when you become obsessed because of the 'triangle of power' then it's time to check yourself before you wreck yourself, and your poor wife. Get some help!

[JPMorgan]

Morbid curiosity keeps me coming back to this thread. I keep trying to tell myself "maybe its real" but I just don't buy it! Now there is a new member who claims to be a friend of the OW and another poster who has suposedly been 'outed'?

 

If any of this stuff is real - someone please get a support system in place for CMM's wife and let her know what's going on so she can get out before we see another news story about some mentally sick husband murdering his wife because he is obsessed with some twat he screwed four times!

[LauraBancroft]

Morbid curiosity keeps me coming back to this thread. I keep trying to tell myself "maybe its real" but I just don't buy it! Now there is a new member who claims to be a friend of the OW and another poster who has suposedly been 'outed'?

 

If any of this stuff is real - someone please get a support system in place for CMM's wife and let her know what's going on so she can get out before we see another news story about some mentally sick husband murdering his wife because he is obsessed with some twat he screwed four times!

 

 

First I'm here to stick up for my friend, this is nonsense. His whining and blatent disregard for my best friends wishes, and that of her husbands, is atrocious. He gets anything he deserves from here on out. I signed up to tell the other half of the story. My friend is through with this guy and his garbage. You guys have no idea what how morbidly sick this man is. He drives by her house to see if she is at home during the day. We see him because her office is near the main entrance to the home and has a big bay window. He is still calling her and trying to text her. He needs help. In the worst way! Oh and please don't refer to my friend as 'twat', thats disgusting. My friend has every intention of going to his wife if he does not knock his behavior off and or she may try to get a restraining order against him. It was a bad mistake that she is now paying dearly for.

[TUDOR]

Guess I have been outed what ever that means! LOL Yes I know ConfusedMM's OW but only from online and nothing more. She use to be a member here. It was strange luck that ConfusedMM found his way here. Non the less I have watched this story unfold and believe me there is much truth about it. ConfusedMM is pretty honest about the encounters and events which have taking place. But I would also like to point out the ConfusedMM has become alarming obsessed with this OW to the point I have concerns.

 

The OW has ended it and told her husband everything and trying to make her marriage work which I commend her on. The OW and her H agreed not to tell Confused's wife about it only because of her delicate condition with being pregnant and the fact confused begged them not to. Now despite being let off easy he is still texting the OW and confessing his love to her knowing full well that they will tell his wife and that her hubby could very well open some whoop ass on him. So raise your hand if you feel sorry for ConfusedMM.

 

This is a prime example of the dangers you can find yourself in when having an afair. You can run into some like ConfusedMM who has become obesessed with this OW to the point it is not healthy. And for what, she has left and is done. You continure to risk your marriage, your job, your own safety for some one that now despises you and disgusted by you obsessive stalking behavior! Confused I highly encourage you to make good on the chance they have giving you to walk away from this before it gets very sloppy. Your poor wife is the victim here and I feel very bad for her. Get a clue and make it quick because I see restraining orders and divorce papers in your future!

[LauraBancroft]

He knew also that her marriage was not an open marriage. He knew this and lied right out of his behind. The truth of the matter is he has become vastly someone that is alarming like Tudor has pointed out. These posts of his are very real and so is the situation. If anyone reads this if you learn anything from this learn that affairs are risky business, especially when they go south like this one did. My best friend is paying dearly for this. She now has her own personal stalker. It is scarey to see him react like this because at first he came off as being perfectly normal and sane and his obsession with the OW has become very well known. The problem is also that he couldn't keep his affair to just himself. He had to promote my best friend like some trophy at his job. Telling people that she was his girlfriend. I am thinking it will definitely get back to his wife since she works for the same retail chain in where they live. It only takes one person people.

[TheDiva]

:eek: :eek:

CMM,

You said you would not try to contact OW what happened to change that?

 

Well the OW has her H to protect her, can someone please protect CMM's W?

OW's husband should have told her like yesterday, Even in her delicate condition she needs to know what's going on around her, she is involved too, and as I told CMM before he is taking away her free will to make a choice in this whole matter.

[LauraBancroft]

So here is an update to what happened. At 3 am in the morning my cell phone began to ring like crazy, it was J, he was calling and leaving all sorts of absurd things on my voicemail. Seems my best friend had her cell turned off and he couldn't reach her, he was given my cell phone number in case anything every happened to my best friends cell, she never would give him her home number. So when I got up at 7 this morning and listened to the 20 calls he put in on my cell phone I was livid! I called my best friend and told her what happened and decided that this had to end, so I took it upon myself to go to his job and confront him.

 

Now I will admit that I lost control, I made a huge scene and my best friend tried to intervene to no avail. The big store manager came out and took us all up to the office upstairs to discuss what was going on. There was a huge crowd of on lookers (other employees and shoppers) standing around listening and witnessing the whole ordeal. When we got upstairs to the main office that is when things got very interesting. The top manager of the store said that he was going to confront J about what was going on between he and my best friend as they have been caught on camera kissing in several different spots in the store and since this store is a family store, married employees are strictly prohibited from fooling around with customers on store property, they had all this on camera. What ultimately ended up happening is that J was suspended from his job without pay for a week. Now it is only a matter of time before his wife founds out. The top store manager was not angry at me nor my friend and said he completely understood what was going on. Not only did the camera's give him enough reason to suspend J but J was leaving store property without permission to go do other things on store time. So in other words he was stealing time. So now he will have to go home and tell his wife that he was suspended without pay because of disorderly conduct. The store manager said if his wife calls up there to ask what happened that he will simply tell her that he has been leaving store property to do personal things. He said they will not get involved in revealing an affair.

 

So that is an update for you. I can't tell you enough of what a nightmare this has been for my best friend. This guy is a ticking timebomb and a serious mental basketcase.

[JS17]

Laura - why are you posting this?

[ThumbingMyWay]

WOW

 

the drama continues......I say the OW and her H, out this guy to his W.

 

his wife will survive....but this dude needs a wake up call

[whichwayisup]

His wife is going to freakout eitherway. It's only a matter of time before she finds out the truth and hopefully ConfusedMM, if you're reading this, you tell her EVERYTHING that you've done. She finds out by your OW husband or OW, that is really unfair and cruel.

 

Get yourself into some Therapy, I still don't know if you actually have gone to see someone, but you need it very badly.

 

This situation you're in is dangerous and I always hear of crimes of passion. This one is in the making and the more I read here the more freaked I AM getting.

 

To me, right now you are in NO position to be a father. Yes, I'm being harsh but I tell ya, this obsession you have has to come to an end. I've said ALL along to focus on your very pregnant wife...Seems you've not done that, nor have you even intended to. There is NO effort into atleast attempting to get over the OW. How can you put your wife and baby first when all you do is think and dream of OW?

 

This is a sad situation and it makes my skin crawl now...Your wife definately deserves some respect ... And that means YOU telling her wtf you've been up to behind her back.

[LauraBancroft]

Laura - why are you posting this?

 

Because I want to. This guy is not some poor hapless victim. He doesn't deserve to be supported or anything else. Thats why! My best friend messed up by telling him that she used this forum long ago to post about their situation, and that is how he found his way here. I don't feel sympathy for him, but I do for his wife, my best friend, and my best friend's husband. He was warned, let off easy, he was asked not to make anymore contact and he said he wouldn't, now we have him trying to contact like crazy, driving by her house during the day and sometimes at night, we have him calling me, telling people at his work that she is his girlfriend. This guy is nuts! There needn't be anymore reason than that, plain and simple.

[whichwayisup]

Because I want to. This guy is not some poor hapless victim. He doesn't deserve to be supported or anything else. Thats why! My best friend messed up by telling him that she used this forum long ago to post about their situation, and that is how he found his way here. I don't feel sympathy for him, but I do for his wife, my best friend, and my best friend's husband. He was warned, let off easy, he was asked not to make anymore contact and he said he wouldn't, now we have him trying to contact like crazy, driving by her house during the day and sometimes at night, we have him calling me, telling people at his work that she is his girlfriend. This guy is nuts! There needn't be anymore reason than that, plain and simple.

 

No matter wtf he's done or hasn't done, people need some support. I don't agree with what he's done and how he's handled this, but it does take TWO to tango. She isn't with him now, but she was part of this at some point...like getting involved with somebody else while she was married... No offense okay, but either way he still is here to vent and get help. Whether it's so some feel sorry for him or some kick his butt, he has every right to post here and vent it out.

 

This is the male version of Fatal Attraction! yuk!