Echo74 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 There's a meetup that I have been a member of for several years. I've noticed in the recent months that there has been more "drama" between the main organizer and some members. One member who was a close friend of organizer got kicked out because of some drunk smack talk he did about organizer. Another member dropped out of the group because she didn't like the reasoning behind why the member was kicked out. Then another member held a party at his home where there was a set limit of attendees. Because the party was to celebrate the anniversary of the group, the organizer and her cohorts were deleting their attendance to allow more members to attend. But the organizer & cohorts were still planning to attend which would been over the limit our host had set. So organizer & cohorts did not attend but are still upset at host. We have an upcoming event which has a set limit of attendees. Normally the organizer would send out a notice asking attendees to confirm if they are still going OR delete if they are not because there are other members on the waitlist. She has not done so and I think it's because the guy who hosted the anniversary party at his home is the first one on the waitlist and she does not want him to attend the event. So I added a comment directed to an attendee who I usually carpool with asking if she was still attending and if she needed a ride. The organizer has read my comment and "liked" it, but still no request for attendees to confirm. This is highly unusual because it's a fancy dinner reservation. There are other issues of unfairness and favoritism as well. It really bothers me and I'm contemplating confronting her and cohorts to discuss all of it. I've always gotten along fine with each of them. My point would be that if the group has rules then we should stand by them, that there should be no obvious favoritism, that I enjoy the group as a whole and that's the very reason why I'm so concerned about the running of it. I suppose there's a chance that she/they will kick me out, but it continues to bother me. I've spoken to other members and they agree with me about the drama, but don't want to get involved. They just want to enjoy the events and stay out of the drama. We've talked about setting up our own group but honestly, the group is for a specific age group and they are very active. If I was to set up another group I'd want it for that age group as well because I'm not a partying drinker like the younger groups are. I just want more feedback please! Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 I think it would be reasonable to express your concerns in a constructive manner. However, DO NOT *confront* them. Confrontation is a fighting stance and would probably only result in more drama. That said, you're absolutely correct that if you aren't happy with how it's being done, you're welcome to start up your own group. And you may well then find yourself being approached by your own unhappy members. It's impossible to keep everyone happy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 It's okay to do it, but do it calmly so you don't get on the bad side. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Echo74 Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 (edited) I think it would be reasonable to express your concerns in a constructive manner. However, DO NOT *confront* them. Confrontation is a fighting stance and would probably only result in more drama. That said, you're absolutely correct that if you aren't happy with how it's being done, you're welcome to start up your own group. And you may well then find yourself being approached by your own unhappy members. It's impossible to keep everyone happy. It's okay to do it, but do it calmly so you don't get on the bad side. Okay I used the wrong word. I am NOT the type of person to "confront" but rather to very sensibly use carefully chosen words as not to insult or arouse defensiveness in others. I HATE drama, I dislike having these little "fractures" in the group because I get along with everyone in it. I'm only hesitant to speak to organizer & her close friends about the issue only because five of my friends in the group have said they would leave it alone. I seriously don't think they would kick me out because I'm a "get along" type of person and I'm pretty diplomatic about things. But who knows, lol. Edited March 20, 2018 by Echo74 Link to post Share on other sites
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