bc72fgbjbc Posted March 16, 2018 Posted March 16, 2018 (edited) I met a girl at a party 2 weeks ago. She added me on facebook the next day (she asked me my name during the night) and we just started texting like that, saying it would be nice to meet again one day. We continued texting all day long to get to know each other. We also started calling more than we text and had a lot of great conversations. We have been calling each day from like 9 p.m. to 11 p.m. except for 2 nights where I went out with friends (but we still managed to call for like 20 minutes somehow) and it feels like she gets more and more comfortable with me but we haven't got on a date yet. I made it clear from the beginning that I think she's beautiful and that I'm interested in dating. She answered that it's reciprocated but that she wants to take things really slow and that she has a hard time trusting someone. She also said this week that she is starting to feel really comfortable talking to me. (maybe a bit too much? Idk) She tells me about every single thing that has happened to her during her day, Idk if it's a good sign or not to be that much comfortable. Now we call much more than we text but when we text it's usually kind of flirty with like emojis, hearts and things like that. But since a couple of days the answers are shorter, less compliments, less emojis, the calls are still great tho. But we were supposed to see each other on sunday but finally she had something with her family so it didn't work (but we still called later in the day). Then she was supposed to come visit me next week to watch movies and drink some wine but finally she changed plans and absolutely wants me to go with her for a walk in town. I said that it would be nice but I asked why she suddenly wants to change plans and that we can wait till the following week for this activity and she got kind of mad so I didn't argue further. With these sudden changes I'm starting to ask myself if she's still interested. She assured me yesterday that nothing has changed but I'm still kinda anxious about it. I will definately go on this date (or whatever it is) next week but I don't really know if I should lower my expectations or keep seeing her as a prospect. Any thoughts about all of this? P.S. I'm 18 and she's 17 if it has anyhting to do with the story. P.S.2 Sorry for the long post but I wanted it to be as detailed as possible. Edited March 16, 2018 by Jxabynebk
Zippy2000 Posted March 16, 2018 Posted March 16, 2018 There`s something called the "attraction window" for some people. The attraction window can be from a few weeks to a month or two. During this time it would be advisable to get her out on a date and make some sort of sexual advance. If you don't do this within this time. You become friend zoned or she will loose interest. If a girl says she wants to take things slow its either a sign of low interest or just wants to be friends. I'm speaking with experience of a 43 year old. Ive had women say they want to take things slow and nothing ever comes of it. Think about it. if you like a girl so much and enough. Would you want to take things slow? Also people find texting hard to keep up and I'm not reading into this but some people do get comfortable with texting so much so they start dropping emojis and such. To guage a womans interest you ask her out on dates. If shes willing to come out then shes interested. if she makes up excuses then drop her and move on to someone who appreciates you more. I mean why would you aste time on someone who doesn't want you or think highly of you. 1
GemmaUK Posted March 16, 2018 Posted March 16, 2018 She doesn't know you a whole lot in person, face to face. An invite to your house this soon would turn me off - that's for a few dates down the line (I suspect someone told her an at home date was not a wise move at this stage and they're right). You may be a great guy but she and you too should be thinking of meeting in safe public places only just now. Go on her suggested date, see how that goes but right now do not push for at home dates unless you both have an agreement that this is only a sexual thing. If it's not just a sexual thing then see how this date goes and plan some public dates to follow up with, dinner, another activity, those kind of things. 1
kendahke Posted March 16, 2018 Posted March 16, 2018 Then she was supposed to come visit me next week to watch movies and drink some wine I'm 18 and she's 17 if it has anyhting to do with the story. This is a bad idea for a lot of reasons, the first being her parents getting wind of this when she comes stumbling in afterwards. 2
smackie9 Posted March 16, 2018 Posted March 16, 2018 She has a life and when the answers are short, it's obvious she's either in the presence of her parents or she's socializing/texting with a friend or friends. It has nothing to do with a lack of interest. So next time this happens, you should get the hint and find something else to busy your time with.
d0nnivain Posted March 16, 2018 Posted March 16, 2018 If you live in a place where the drinking age is 21, your plan to drink some wine with her is awful. At home first dates are also bad plans. Early dates should be held in public. When your ages have the word "teen" in them, the rules for "dating" are more free flowing. You need to hang out a few times before anything physical happens. It's about spending time together & getting to know each other. Public group activities are best. Skip the one on one stuff for now. Do continue to talk. The fact that you are actually using your voices is excellent! You can't build a relationship through text or social media alone. Give it a few months. After you have hung out together several times then you can ask for a date. Keep it simple & public . . . go to a movie or get something to eat. 1
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted March 17, 2018 Author Posted March 17, 2018 I usually always pressure myself to kiss on the first date. But since she said she wants to take things slow do you think I should avoid to make a move on our first date, next week? Or will I look weak or uninterested? Personally I think I will only go for a hug and wait at least second date to make my move.
CollegeKid101 Posted March 17, 2018 Posted March 17, 2018 I usually always pressure myself to kiss on the first date. But since she said she wants to take things slow do you think I should avoid to make a move on our first date, next week? Or will I look weak or uninterested? Personally I think I will only go for a hug and wait at least second date to make my move. She's not interested. Girls at 17 don't take things "slow" with guys they like. Let it go and don't try getting a 17 year old drunk.. You getting defensive about her changing plans is really strange..almost like you just want sex from her. Also do not ask her for reassurance..now that looks weak.
d0nnivain Posted March 17, 2018 Posted March 17, 2018 I usually always pressure myself to kiss on the first date. But since she said she wants to take things slow do you think I should avoid to make a move on our first date, next week? Or will I look weak or uninterested? Personally I think I will only go for a hug and wait at least second date to make my move. Dating & sex, even a kiss are not about pressure. Change your mindset from this conquest BS. She's a person you need to get to know, not some territory you need to conquer. This is not about your ego or ability to score. If she wants you to kiss her she will let you know. When a 17 year old girl she tells you she wants to take things slow she means she wants you to respect her, not maul her at the first opportunity, If you try for the hug or the kiss she is going to bolt, conclude that you are only interested in one thing & never speak to you again. Try being different from the other horn dog boys your age & listen to the girl. Get to know her. At most you can hold her hand on this date. Period. If that doesn't work for you, date a girl who hasn't expressed a desire to take things slow. 1
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