shalae204 Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 hello everyone!! I met this great guy about 3 months ago he's perfect boyfriend material I mean it's been 3 months and by this time most guys have gone from prince to frog if you know what i mean... So anyway about 3 wks ago we finally had sex - if that's what you wanna call it - to put this as clean as possible 4 pumps and this guy was out so Ithought okay maybe it's been awhile not a big deal better luck next time I guess So next time was about 3 days ago and wow I wish i could've gotten 4 pumps that night it was more like 1 and a half ...what do I gotta do to get this guy to go for longer? My friend said that after a few times he'll be able to perform like normal but I don't know what do you guys think? Is this something that's always gonna happen or do men really get like that if they don't have sex for awhile...they need a few practice runs I guess? And is there something I should do or not do to make this go smoother - I mean longer ( ). I guess the obvious answer is to not involve a lot of foreplay but there's gotta be another way...right???
NiCoLe20 Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 i agree with ur friend. my b/f was like that when we first started having sex. from all the tension and anxiety thats built up, he comes fast... i know it happened to me. but now, 7 months later, he lasts too long and im telling him to hurry up lol...so just hang in there, you will both get use to each other and things will last longer
CantDecide... Posted August 30, 2005 Posted August 30, 2005 u know my advice is give him head and let him finsih, then in say 20-30 min have sex...when i was dating my gf there was one time in peticular that i had 4 pumps and i was done, since then i was fine, but everynow andthen it would just be a quicky, tell him to masturbate b4 u guys meet up if u dont like head, orrr use trojan extended pleasure condoms, except my budy game me one and i got numb, literally num i was pinching it and it didnt hurt. lol sry to get gaphic here, just some ideas
RecordProducer Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 Tell him to think of his mother while doing you. :P
nosybear819 Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 That's happened to me before except I stopped seeing the guy because of it. The first time was quick the second time I figured I'd give him head first so that he could finish and then be ready for round two. Well he finished alright, but there definitely wasn't a round two - he was out for the night. I hope you have better luck with your guy especially if you really like him. Maybe it'll be worth sticking around for a few more quickies.
Jayhawks Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 He must be way inexperienced because most guys figure out a way to keep this from happening. Either the start, stop method or thinking about other things will prolong your orgasm. Also pulling out and squeezing the head will keep you from climaxing and then you can get back at it. Have him give you lots of oral to climax. Let him use a toy on you while having sex. It will let you get there sooner. I would jump his bones when he is not ready for it and it will take his mind a little time to catch up to the activity. Hopefully when you become comfortable together things will improve or he may need to see a sex therapist to help him with techniques to please his partner.
JS17 Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 I saw this post before and I thought that I replied. An ex of mine with ED had a friend whose boyfriend had the same problem as yours. He was never able to have sex because he would come before he even started having sex. It was actually a pretty sad situation. The never found a solution. This is a possibility for you. If he's just inexperienced then I would suggest oral for him first, make sure he cums, then hopefully he will be somewhat desensitized for sex. If he is young he may just need some time and experience.
RecordProducer Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 Have him give you lots of oral to climax. Let him use a toy on you while having sex. It will let you get there sooner. I don't think this was what she had in mind. I wouldn't like a replacement for his penis even if it's his tongue. I would suggest oral for him first, make sure he cums, then hopefully he will be somewhat desensitized for sex. Ugh... this is so unexiting and totally not spontaneous. She wants her BF to be a tiger in bed.
JS17 Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 I don't think this was what she had in mind. I wouldn't like a replacement for his penis even if it's his tongue. Ugh... this is so unexiting and totally not spontaneous. She wants her BF to be a tiger in bed. Definitely agree with you on the first comment RP. There is no replacement there Unfortunately when you're dealing with men with sexual problems it's not always exiting and fun. Some women can handle it and some can't and there is nothing wrong with either. You have to work around the problem and find what works best for the couple. I've been in a similar position and I cared enough about the guy that I was willing to put in the time and effort. It was really difficult and put a lot of strain on the relationship but at the time I felt it was worth it because I loved him, problems and all. It is much easier though when you are physically compatible.
Author shalae204 Posted September 4, 2005 Author Posted September 4, 2005 Hi again everyone!! i haven't gotten a chance to try again with this guy i really want to but we're both pretty busy and i guess i'm scared to do it again i hope the 3rd time will be better...So you think it's because of inexperience? i can't say for sure i mean i never asked him but he's 25 and he's pretty hot i assume he's gotten a lot of action in his day..but i could be wrong. yeah you girls are right you can't substitute oral sex for the real thing..besides that i was so ready for this guy to tear it up in bed and really put all those muscles to use and look how it ended up oral alone won't fulfill that fantasy i don't want you guys to think i'm being mean about it either i still talk to him as much now as i did before and i get just as excited to hear from him but damn...i'm really disappointed about the sex part...if things go right the next time i'm posting it all over
JS17 Posted September 5, 2005 Posted September 5, 2005 Your assumptions may be right but they may be very very wrong. You need to talk to him about it. Part of being an adult is being able to talk to your partner about any issues around sex. I don't know how old you are but at his age at least he should be able to. You're going to need to learn to if you can't yet. Nobody thinks you're being mean. You've built up this fantasy in your head and to be honest it's not fair to hold him to that fantasy. It's not surprising that you were disappointed. However, it seems like he has a real problem so you need to talk to him about it and be kind and understanding when you do. For men, problems with sexual function is probably the most sensitive subject to deal with. Ask him why he is having the problem (try to help him figure it out if he doesn't know why) and reassure him that you care about him and want to do whatever you can to help him in this arena of your relationship. This is the time to be at your kindest and sweetest. Its going to be tough for him to discuss. This is all if you actually care about him. If you're just looking for a sexual relationship then you're barking up the wrong tree
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