bafozad Posted March 15, 2018 Posted March 15, 2018 This is going to be a bit long-winded, but I could really do with some advice as I have no one else to turn to. After a long stint of being single, I finally met someone early last year and began dating them. We entered a relationship soon after, which I ended a few months later as she was never fully invested in the relationship as she hadn't fully gotten over past experiences with an ex boyfriend; I was very upset because otherwise we were quite compatible and had a lot of fun together, but I felt it had to be done. I still held a little hope that she'd eventually resolve this and maybe we could try again. Two months later I met my now current partner on a dating app. I hadn't been taking it seriously as, truthfully, I don't have a hell of a lot of success with women so I hadn't expected to even go on a date. However, we met up and I was blown away by how awesome she was. We started seeing each other more and more, and eventually ended up together. The thing is, I've had this nagging feeling very early on that something isn't quite right, and I haven't been able to identify what it is. At first I thought it was stress due to workload, but things have got better on that front and I feel no different. Unfortunately, more recently I've had a few physical and mental health issues (including a dead sex drive) and that's just strengthened that gut feeling. It's not that my partner isn't good for me or what I want, in fact she's got a lot of desirable characteristics and has been incredibly supportive, but emotionally I just can't seem to put 100% into the relationship and I'm not sure if I'm ready. I know my partner is more invested than I am, that's for sure. I feel it's unfair on her and that she could do a lot better than what I am able to give right now, especially as I also feel guilty as I've also been in her position (see first paragraph). Furthermore, I've been thinking a lot more about my ex because I never had any doubts with her and it felt "right", plus I don't think I'm fully over the relationship. So, I've considered ending my current relationship, but my counselor and have friends have suggested keeping things in perspective and giving the relationship more time to blossom. I'm at a crossroads and not sure which route to go down. Advice?
Happy Lemming Posted March 15, 2018 Posted March 15, 2018 Here is my two cents... Are you having fun with the woman you are currently dating?? Are you going on fun dates?? Fun activities and adventures?? If so, keep dating her. Plan some trips, some sight-seeing, some places neither of you have been and go. Don't worry so much about tomorrow or if this is your soulmate or any "down the road" issues. Live in the today, have fun, and enjoy yourself. I bet those "nagging" doubts will melt away with time, as you spend more time with the woman you are presently dating.
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