max3732 Posted March 14, 2018 Posted March 14, 2018 I signed up for Tinder and was happy to match with someone close by. After a few messages I asked if she wanted to meet up and said sure and that she works pretty close to me. As I've heard Tinder is more of a hook up app than a regular dating how can I find out her intentions? I was thinking of inviting her to a quick lunch place and just seeing how it goes. This will be my first Tinder date so I'm not sure what to expect.
Gaeta Posted March 14, 2018 Posted March 14, 2018 Ask her why she's on Tinder. Keeps amazing me how many people meet without even knowing if they are searching the same thing. * why are you on here * was the very first question I asked right after *hello*. 2
hannahl9811 Posted March 14, 2018 Posted March 14, 2018 Definitely just ask. It's a normal question that I've gotten a ton on the app and that I've asked a lot as well. You don't want to end up in a situation you never intended to be in, so just be straight up with her!
d0nnivain Posted March 14, 2018 Posted March 14, 2018 Meeting & speaking to her sounds like the best plan. Go for it.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 14, 2018 Posted March 14, 2018 You could also just share YOUR intentions and ask if they match hers. What are your intentions?
d0nnivain Posted March 14, 2018 Posted March 14, 2018 You could also just share YOUR intentions and ask if they match hers. What are your intentions? it's a first meet / first date. Discussions about intentions are premature, don't you think?
newyorker11356 Posted March 14, 2018 Posted March 14, 2018 it's a first meet / first date. Discussions about intentions are premature, don't you think? That's what I used to think, but honestly, I've changed my opinion on that. I don't think there's anything to ask the other person what they're looking for (whether it's something casual/short-term, one-night stand, or something potentially longer term). 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 14, 2018 Posted March 14, 2018 it's a first meet / first date. Discussions about intentions are premature, don't you think? I got the impression he's trying to figure out of she's "DTF" or looking for a potential partner. 1
Gaeta Posted March 14, 2018 Posted March 14, 2018 it's a first meet / first date. Discussions about intentions are premature, don't you think? No absolutely not, people should ask right away in a first online discussion. It's not about what she wants with him, it's about what she wants in general. She wants casual, serious, just fun. 1
Gaeta Posted March 14, 2018 Posted March 14, 2018 When I was online the very first thing I asked after greetings was *what are you looking for on here*. If the man said he's looking to make friends or casual dating I thank them for their interest but I was looking for someone with serious dating in mind and I kept on searching. I went on 200 dates, imagine if I had never asked what they were looking for, I would have gone on 400 dates and half of it would have been a waste of time. 1
lurker74 Posted March 14, 2018 Posted March 14, 2018 What I like to do is this...First, I do a little internet research. Facebook obvi. Then I hit LinkedIn so that I know if they work or not. This should give me a pretty good clue where they live and so I go looking for a church. Most of the time, once I've stalked out the local church's, I will narrow down my future wife to a few likely women that look most like my Tinder match. So then I simply go to my local costume store and invest in some stage make-up and a fake mustache. Once disguised, I like to sit close, but not right next to, my intended victi---er---date. This way I can listen in on her conversation and also pay attention to when she uses her cell phone. Thankfully, I have a fanny pack that lets me hold my cell phone cloning system so that when she makes a call, I can clone her number. Now I should be able to read all he texts. What is she saying about me to her friends? Is she talking about this nice guy or is it all about her next hook up? It's not always clear because, you know, women can be dishonest so what I like to do is get to a quiet place and call her. Since she doesn't know what I sound like, my voice changing app is more than enough to stay anonymous. So I tell her that I'm calling from the closest motel and that she left her credit card in the room. If she hesitates, it probably means that she frequents those places and you know what that means. Either way, it's now time to meet her mom. By now, I usually know her mom's name, location, and grocery store that she uses. I will find out when she likes to shop and get next to the melons when she comes in. I will "accidentally" knock over the melons when she's close and see if she helps. Since women always end up like their moms, it's a good indication of my target's intent. There are more steps and equipment but I think you get the idea of how you figure out someone's intent. 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 14, 2018 Posted March 14, 2018 Thank you, Lurker74. That was very entertaining . 1
heavenonearth Posted March 14, 2018 Posted March 14, 2018 I know plenty of people who met their partner on tinder - me included. Just go on a first date and see if you can feel out what she's looking for. Also, you could always just ask her.
Author max3732 Posted March 15, 2018 Author Posted March 15, 2018 You could also just share YOUR intentions and ask if they match hers. What are your intentions? To find someone to date and hopefully marry. Although since it's been so long since I've had a girlfriend I'd settle for someone to help me practice getting more comfortable being a little physical with someone. 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 15, 2018 Posted March 15, 2018 To find someone to date and hopefully marry. Although since it's been so long since I've had a girlfriend I'd settle for someone to help me practice getting more comfortable being a little physical with someone. Have you used any other dating sites/apps besides Tinder? It seems like there have been a lot of questions on here lately about Tinder users' intentions. I think other sites like OKCupid, Match, and even POF seem to not evoke such questions as many, if not most, folks on there are looking for relationships, not just hookups.
Gaeta Posted March 15, 2018 Posted March 15, 2018 To find someone to date and hopefully marry. Although since it's been so long since I've had a girlfriend I'd settle for someone to help me practice getting more comfortable being a little physical with someone. Go on a tradition dating site, where people have real profiles and elaborate on their interests and what they're looking for. You can search people by distance, interests, or dating goals so you only see people that want the same thing as you.
Author max3732 Posted March 15, 2018 Author Posted March 15, 2018 Go on a tradition dating site, where people have real profiles and elaborate on their interests and what they're looking for. You can search people by distance, interests, or dating goals so you only see people that want the same thing as you. I tried Eharmony and match, but no luck. I met a few people in person but only a few that I liked and they didn't like me back.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 15, 2018 Posted March 15, 2018 I tried Eharmony and match, but no luck. I met a few people in person but only a few that I liked and they didn't like me back. Try OKCupid and/or POF. I don't know if they are still free, but they used to be, so they got a lot more traffic.
Recommended Posts